Im feeling alittle overwelmed

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Registered: 05-11-2003
Im feeling alittle overwelmed
9
Tue, 10-07-2003 - 2:16am
You know, weve been thinking about kids for a long while. I got off the pill and we started actively trying, things have been fine but tonight i just dont know. I was fine at first, my cycle is messed up but i wasnt thinking of it much. I went to the bathroom about 4 times in an hour just to wipe, then i realized i had creamy AND EWCM all mixed together. I told DH and we started to BD, fear hit me and i thought, oh no am i ready. IM YOUNG i dont do anything young people do and im settled but do i want a BABY thats a big thing! I suddenly realized that at some point i had let TTC become a game, all the BFN were making me fight for a BFP and my goal was not to get pregnant and become a mother anymore, it was just to get two lines and have a rising chart!!

I felt so overwelmed that he ended up pulling out at the end at my request.

Im second guessing myself now. It could be too late, my temps are messed up but still. Im not sure im done being like this now, im not sure i want an addition anymore, i lost focus and it became this big game full of charts and temps and BD and i forgot what i was doing!

I mean after the first BFN i started focusing on everything but what i was actually trying to do.I mean i want to be a family but the feeling comes and goes. Its here more then its not and when i am around kids it gets worse but im not sure what i should do. DH is ready and wants this, me, i just worry ill regret it maybe? like sometimes ill look back and wish i hadnt had kids so that i could have spent nmore time alone with DH without interruption. Its sounds horrible i know but i dont know what to do. I feel so lost at the moment. I dont want to make a mistake, but i dont know if its even a mistake!:(

My cycles are so long i dont want to miss my chance but chance at what? this feeling is horrible. Please pray for me tonight girls! i feel lost:(

Rhonda

http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/21252

Avatar for harleyruhls
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Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 10-07-2003 - 6:37am

Rhonda....


 

Avatar for bethanees
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Registered: 04-17-2003
Tue, 10-07-2003 - 6:46am
Nanci - that was beautiful and SOOOOO completely true!

I have nothing more to add after Nanci's wonderful post.

GL to you on whatever decision you feel is best for you!

Bethanee ttc3 c4 cd19/28 AFNW 10/16

Avatar for sssjjjbbb
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-23-2003
Tue, 10-07-2003 - 9:44am
((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))))))

I think what you are feeling is absolutely natural!!!

If I can just say one thing:

I am now 33, I have spent the past several years avoiding pregnancy on purpose for the same reasons you were talking about.

Now we are trying and it is not as easy as I thought it would be.

I thought that we would get pg as soon as we had unprotected sex - well, I was wrong! LOL

I realize now that if we had of had children earlier, it would have worked out and we would have a family right now.

If you know you want a family sometime in life, just remember, that it may be a little harder the older you are.

(This isnt always true, but just something to think about.)

((((HUGS AGAIN))))))

Stephanie

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-09-2003
Tue, 10-07-2003 - 10:34am
Rhonda, You have to follow your heart. And most important, talk to DH about this. Maybe you guys can wait a few months untill you are sure. Or maybe DH will know just what to say to reasure you. I know its scary, Its a life altering choice, but if its what you want you can do it. If you are not sure you should wait until you are sure. you do not want to recent dh or the baby later in life. Im not saying you will ever recent the baby but some people do. or they at least regret having kids. Most of them though got pg by accident. but you should just be sure. And your dh should understand if you dont want too. I know what it is like to try for the 2 lines and so on. sometimes I think about giving up because it is sressfull and I scared to try for 3rd. can I care for 3. 2 is ok but 3? you know. But the thought of not having anymore makes me more scared than having a 3rd so I stay in the game so to speak. So you should take a week and decide to not have any kids and wear that decision as dr. phill would say and see how that makes you feel than try on having a baby and see how that makes you fell and than decide. Do you have any friends or family w/ small children? you could baby sit for a weekend and see how that goes. Small children and older children I would do both. And of course relize that it will be a little differant and probably easier w/ your own but it will give you a vage idea of what to expect. Good luck!!!! I hope I could help some.

Angela

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Registered: 05-11-2003
Tue, 10-07-2003 - 12:36pm
NANCY! **hugs** Your post was just what i needed to hear. My husband woke up about an hour ago and i figured id read my post to him, he told me that the fact that i worry just makes him realize how ready i am, Because i love him, i worry about him and my relationship and i worry about how ill be with a baby.

Its true, not many people actually plan pregnancies nowadays and there will always be doubts but your right, a person who worries is better then a person that acts like its nothing. Worrying means you care!

I woke up feeling much better. The thought of not TTC hurts more then the fear of TTC. Its just scary to think about, to CREATE a person, to teach them all the things you know and be a MOM. Its overwelming, but i dont think i want to wait for that, i think i just get overwelmed by the thought of such an important role. I want to be a great mother for my child and i also want to be a great wife. Your post put me in tears though and it was what i needed to hear. Thank you for commenting i really needed it:)
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Registered: 05-11-2003
Tue, 10-07-2003 - 12:49pm
Angela, thank you for this post.

As i read it something funny happened. When you said "you should take a week and decide to not have any kids and wear that decision " and the thought of that killed me inside. I want to be pregnant so much, i want to be a mother but i just worry i wont be as good as i want to be.

Me and DH are young but weve been married almost 3 years now. Last year at this time of year i stopped having a period and 3 months later i was met with at doctor and found out i had an HCG level of 4 so apparently something went wrong. The thought of getting pregnant has been in my head ever since and it always is there. I wanted to try but waited until DH actually wanted it as well, i remained patient and when he brought it up we decided to try, its just now i sometimes worry im not ready, as in i couldnt be a good mother. But the worrying is a good thing, it helps me try to be the best can be. I waited all year and didnt TTC and deep inside it hurt alot, i wanted to try, i kept hope that DH would want kids soon but the year went by and i kept to myself about it, i didnt want to pressure him, and some days when hed say he wanted to try after i talked about it we still wouldnt try, i wanted to make sure he was truely wanting to try and not doing it because i "talked him into it." Im sure the idea sounded good when i talked about it, i just wanted his desision to be completely his on his part, i didnt want his desision to be based on the fact that i made having kids sound good to him. Im glad i waited until he wanted kids completely on his own, i guess i just want to make sure things with me and him and me and a baby would all be ok.

Thanks again for your post, it helped me alot<3

Rhonda
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-02-2003
Tue, 10-07-2003 - 3:21pm
Just wanting to bump this up so everyone can read Nanci's beautiful post. It really touches the heart~ thank-you Nanci! (((((((((((((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
 

 Tara~ co-cl of Pregnant after TTC

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-11-2003
Wed, 10-08-2003 - 1:55am
It was truely sweet, it couldnt have been said better and it was much needed. Sometimes people do things and dont realize what effect they have, her post was printed and read to my husband and i have it near my computer, it was so heartfelt. Goodness it made me feel so much better:)
Avatar for harleyruhls
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Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 10-08-2003 - 6:36am

Rhonda...