I'm scared of whether I can handle another baby!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-10-2012
I'm scared of whether I can handle another baby!
5
Wed, 01-16-2013 - 5:23pm

Am I alone in this or is anyone else nervous about how they will cope with more than one child?  How do other mothers with even three or more even cope , I feel some days that I can't even handle the one I have!  My husband has been bringing it up a lot and I'm starting to get on board with the idea, but it still is freaking me out.  I can't imagine trying to take a toddler and a newborn out in public!  Just thinking about it majorlly stresses me out. 

Anyone in the same boat?

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-13-2012

((hugs))

I definately know the feeling. Dh and I are just getting out of the daily trying times known as the three's. lol. who ever named the twos terrible hadnt expierenced the threes. and as i'm at the brink of freaking out on a bad day, which sometimes seems frequent.  I think how the hell could I even imagine adding more stress and mind boggling craziness to my life. I can berely handle what I've got. But if I let myself think that then I would never want to have another sweet, loving, smart, unique piece of dh and I. Someone that DD can always have in her life after we are gone. no parent is perfect and if it's something that you know in your head and your heart to add to your family then you can handle it. You just adapt. So, maybe you don't go out in public. It's not a crime to only take one child out in pubic at a time unless ya got some back up from dh. if thats what it takes to stay sane then thats ok!

I share the same fears as you do. And I know others do too. Dh and myself's financial sitch has been rocky to say the least over the last few months. So not only do I feel the "yikes can I handle another" but im really unsure if I can afford another at this second until we are caught up this summer.

Are you and your DH activly trying?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-10-2012
Thanks for responding! It's good to know that I'm not alone in feeling like this, although you are scaring me about the 3s! I do miss having a little baby to cuddle, my daughter is always on the go now it seems. We aren't actively trying yet, I need to come off of my birth control. I'd also like to have a non-winter baby if feasible, so my guess would be that maybe this spring? That gives me some time to get used to the idea. It probably wasn't a good move on his part to start talking about it in the midst of the cold season, I swear she's had one cold after another.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2008

<p>Just to throw in my 2 cents. &nbsp;I have a 4 yr old son and 2 yr old daughter with one on the way in a few weeks.. I was terrified to be pg a 3rd time and have a lot of anxiety about a third.. and I won't lie to you all.. having my 2nd almost killed me in the beginning, it was so hard to juggle the 2. &nbsp;I had no help and my husband works loong hrs and isnt home as much as I need him to be.. but now on most days, it is amazing to see how much they adore each other and play so nicely together (a lot of the time). &nbsp;My son always introduces his sister as his friend and he is always looking out for her and helping her. &nbsp;of course they fight and there are a lot of times that I want to run out the door from all the chaos and financial/emotional stress but at the end of the day, their relationship is so beautiful and we created that by having another baby.. it is really hard in the beginning and later as well on some days, but so worth it. &nbsp;So although I am still scared about this coming baby and how I will manage all 3, I look forward to that pure love that I know my kids will give to this new baby.. and there will always be days when I want to run out the door.. because life with kids is a crazy rollercoaster &nbsp; &nbsp; In the end, I highly doubt u would ever regret having another baby, if u really want one. &nbsp;<span style="line-height: 1.4;">whatever u decide, good luck. &nbsp; Aimee&nbsp;</span></p>

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-21-2011

My two are older now, but I remember feeling anxious about going from one to two. It is challenging, but the challenges are often dealing with two - not with figuring out your baby. The first one is overwhelming because you haven't learned the tricks of the trade. By the time the second one comes along, you're busy and have your hands full, but you know the basics about diaper rash, bottles, breast feeding and you're not constantly panicked by every small detail, which makes you feel more confident and capable at least. 

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-13-2012
Im sorry I didnt mean to scare you! the threes are really great too! they are smarter and can tell you what they want. Threes are fun! Crafts, dress up, swinging themselves on the swings.lol How long ago did you stop your bcp?