I'm so angry and frustrated...

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
I'm so angry and frustrated...
Fri, 03-28-2003 - 1:06am
so i go to the doctors today and she sent me for a blood test (which i figured) but she had me feeling very negative about the whole thing to the point where i know when i call tomorrow they are going to tell me i'm not pregnant...

when she asked what was up i told her last AF was january 22nd and she was like ok so do you feel pregnant and i said well ive never been pregnant so ive no idea and explained all the things that i could to her but when the words trying to have a baby came out she just stopped and looked at me like 'why?' but in a 'arent you a little young' kinda of voice. im 24, extremely well situated and its that time to start trying, both my amazing long term bf, soon to be fiancee have decided that this is what we want...regardless i dont have to justify myself to her...

so i explain that ive been off BCP since beginning of november and have been trying since and nothing at all and i just mentioned the word clomid and shes like 'no im not doing for you until you've been trying for over a year'...so what i have to suffer for the next 6 months trying to have a baby even though i haven't been getting AF therefore i'm guessing i'm not even ovulating...

can i still ovulate fully and properly without a period???

so as i said im just frustrated that shes telling me shes not going to do anything to help me to get my period nor give me any find of fertility pills at all...what do i do???

as i said i know when i call the lab tomorrow they are just going to say its negative so why should i bother...

sorry for my rants!


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Fri, 03-28-2003 - 2:27am
I'm so sorry, Traci!!!! I'm not sure on the Oing with no AF, but I'm sure someone can answer that for you. Can you get a second opinion? Is this a regular dr. or an ob/gyn? Most dr's won't do anything for you until you've been ttc for a year, but I would think if you're not getting AF, they could do something for you.


Avatar for penostrovich
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 03-28-2003 - 6:38am
Sorry about your experience Traci. Clomid or not, I would get a new doctor. Any doc that seems like she's criticizing you for your decisions (like ttc) is not a good one. It's not her business and it's not her life! It's your decision and she should respect that.

As far as no AF - I don't think you can ovulate and not get AF (not 100% sure, but that's my gut reaction).

Also, most docs won't start fertility tests until you've been ttc 1 year if you are younger (under 30 or 35). Some will start at 6 months...maybe you could "shop" around for an OB/GYN that might start earlier.

Anyways, I hope it all works out. Good luck.


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 03-28-2003 - 7:26am
Hey guys...

Thanks for responding...

In regards to your questions, well she is my regular doctor, has been for at least 10 years and she has been fantastic up until yesterday. Maybe she wasn't doing anything out of the norm and it's just me being frustrated that I already know the answer.

I guess what bothers me the most is that TTC or not, I don't want to go the next 6 months (which would make it about a year of TTC) with no AF before she finally says ok now we can do something. I understand you should wait about a year before seeking other options but all I did was ask about something to help my AF come and she just looked at me and said "yeah birth control pills" and left it at that.

I just feel like why should I bother TTC if I can't even get AF, it seems rather useless. Not that BDing would stop with my honey (oh hell no) but the thought that I could still get pregnant during this time would just put a damper on things.

I even said to her is there anything that you can do to find out whether I'm completely healthy and able to have one in the first place and she more or less shrugged it off and told me to go get some blood taken end of story.

I don't chart and I guess what also frustrates me is that twice in the last two months I've been bloated and had that pre AF feeling and yet both times it went away...

GRRRRRRRRR why cant things just be easy huh!!!!


Avatar for tutter13
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 03-28-2003 - 7:47am
Traci, get a new doctor. First off, no one has the right to make you feel wrong for TTC at any age. I turned 24 the month after my son was born. Know what, I wasn't too young. My DH and I have done very very well with family, and we are now expecting our second. Who is that Dr. anyhow, to make you feel belittled. URGH!!!!

Also, my Dr. was willing to start initial tests for me after 6 mos. of trying. I'm only 29 now and obviously capable of having kids (since I have one already) and my AF is pretty normal, but she was willing to start some smaller minor things. Well, I think it helped because the mo. she did the HSG is the mo. I got pg.

I really think you should seriously consider looking into a new Dr. who may be more willing to work with you and help you find answers now. My best to you. Take care, and I hope things work out soon.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 03-28-2003 - 9:00am
Traci, I would definitely recommend looking into a different doctor, maybe a gyn who may be more sympathetic to fertility issues. If you have been charting for the past few months, this would be some good ammo to show the doc and hopefully persuade her to not make you wait another 6 months. If you've been trying at all the right times and you can prove that with a chart or something, I think it would go a long way into making them take another look at you. Just my thoughts.


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Fri, 03-28-2003 - 9:15am
Traci--I know what you are feeling right now (about the AF thing). I have been off BCP since October, and have only had 2 periods (one which came on by itself, and the other was induced at the end of January.)

I suggest that you either a)find a good OB/GYN who can help, or b)find an infertility specialist. I know that that sounds extreme, but I told my OB about AF with me, and told him what I thought was the problem, and he immediatly sent me to an inferility doctor. I just met with him on Wednesday, and he is getting the ball rolling right away, even though we are only just about 6 mth TTC.

This doctor of yours has no right to judge you. I am "only" 24 as well, and my DH and I made this decision together. We feel that this is the right thing for us to do. Point: It is YOUR life, as you said. Please don't let her get to you anymore. It's not an excuse, but maybe she was having a bad day; I don't know.

Just know that I am thinking and praying for you. Good Luck!!!