It's stupid, but I'm upset anyway
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| Mon, 07-06-2009 - 11:54am |
So, I haven't posted on here for a while. My DH and I first started talking about TTC in January. I went to see my Dr then to make sure I was OK to get PG, and was diagnosed with PCOS and pre-diabetes. Since then, I have been working on getting my glucose levels regulated, as my OBGYN wouldn't clear me to get get pregnant until I was regulated. My last glucose tolerance test showed that my levels are regulated on my Met, and I should be good to go (we see my OBGYN next week). So, I stopped taking BCP and have been charting this month. I am currently on CD 15, and am expecting to ovulate in the next couple of days, so I have been wanting us to BD as much as possible. We BD on Friday, which was probably too early. On Saturday, I wanted us to BD in the morning, but we didn't have a chance to and had to go up to LA to my in-laws in the afternoon. It was almost 2 in the morning before we got home, so we didn't BD Saturday at all. Then, last night, I was trying to get something started, and my DH.... well, he couldn't, you know? OK, I was disappointed, but these things happen. I figured I was just putting too much pressure on him, talking too much about everything. Plus, we were both still really tired from Saturday. So, this morning, when we woke up, I tried again. And.... same thing. He couldn't.
I know it's really stupid, but I'm upset about this. I am feeling like this is my fault some how. I'm feeling unattractive and unsexy. I'm feeling like he doesn't really want this (he says he does). And I'm scared to try again in case it happens again. Do I just let it drop for this month and try again next cycle? What do I do?








Guys can be like that, even if they are on board with TTC. It's a different kind of sex, you know? Sex on demand, and not just for fun, and if they feel a little funny or nervous, well...it doesn't always happen.
I'd be upset too, and you're entitled to feel that way, but don't read too much into it.
My DH was a little funny our first month, abut he seems to have his head around it better now.
Just wanted to jump in here and give you some love!
Thanks, everyone! I really appreciate the support. I don't know what's wrong with me today; I can't stop crying about this. Intellectually, I know it's not the end of the world, but I can't stop dwelling on it. I know he knows I'm upset; he kept apologizing before he went to work (I'm off today), which makes me feels even worse. I feel like this is a reflection on me. I've worked so hard over the past few months to get my glucose under control, and was so excited that we could finally start TTC, then this happens on our first cycle. I'm also trying to quit smoking, so I'm on edge to begin with; this isn't helping. I feel like we're going to miss our chance this cycle, which again is not the end of the world, but still upsetting. I'm 33 and we want to have 2 or 3 kids, so we need to get this ball rolling soon!
I just really need to get a grip on myself before he gets home.
This happen to us to a couple times during the first couple cycles.
definitely don't blame yourself or feel unsexy!
It sounds like it just was a lot of pressure, especially since you've been waiting so long to get the green light.
I would agree with many of the previous posters.
You are so not alone in this experience.
I am 40 and feel like my time is running out.
Back when I was 30 I was TTCing and dealt with 7+ years of Trying and then finally the last couple of years with IF treatments.
Shannon & Christopher
My DH was the same way when we first started TTC.
Thanks, everyone! We talked about it the other night (DH brought it up) and he was just as frustrated and upset as I was. He says he doesn't think he's stressed about TTC and isn't sure what happened. However, I promised him I would keep the nitty gritty details to a minimum. Anyway. I threw my back out (again) Monday afternoon and that has pretty much put an end to any BDing for the time being. No matter, since according to FF I O'd on Sunday. The last time we BD was on Friday, 2 days before O, so there's still hope for this cycle. And if it doesn't happen this cycle, then that's OK, too. Frustrating, but OK. I just need to figure out what's wrong with my back right now.....
Anyway, thanks for all the advice and support! I really appreciate it.