Just a quick question...please answer

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2003
Just a quick question...please answer
7
Fri, 07-25-2003 - 2:07pm
Ok DH and I drink about 2 or 3 times a month (did for me). I asked him today if he wouldn't drink once I got pg so that when we are at social functions I won't feel left out and we can both go home sober (he doesn't drink enough to get drunk or anything). He said he wasn't sure if it's something he could do. Also we have poker nights at our house about once a month, and I mentioned not drinking or drinking a non-alcoholic beer (b/c his argument was he liked beer when he played poker), he wasn't sure about that either. Am I being crazy here? (I am very emotional lately b/c it's my first month off bcp and AF should be visiting this weekend) I could be acting unreasonable but I just really feel that I'm not. Please help...any suggestions or comments! Thanks in advance!

Kelly
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-09-2003
Fri, 07-25-2003 - 2:14pm
I can't answer your question - I think the answer is different for each couple.

I've quit drinking while TTC, but my DH does continue to drink socially. It really doesn't bother me. I've actually told him that I'm fine with him drinking... and we even joke that he's got a ready-made DD for now!

BUT... if this is really bothering you, you need to talk to your DH. He should understand your reasons why you don't want him to drink... do you feel "shut out" when you're the only one not drinking, so you want him to share this with you? I guess I didn't see your real reason for why you want him to quit. Talk to him - if it's really that big a deal, he should at least scale back or try to quit for a while.

Good luck!

Tami
Mommy to Anna 7.7.04 & Ben 11.19.06

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-30-2003
Fri, 07-25-2003 - 2:18pm
I think that decision is a personal decision. I've known some men that have stopped drinking, but not many. I did not ask DH to stop drinking but it did not bother me. However, if it does bother you if he's drunk and you're sober, you should have a serious talk with him. At least ask him to cut back. The fact is, parties where everyone is drinking won't be as much fun sober, even if he's not drinking. But, the payoff is soooo worth it, you probably won't mind as much as you think you might. You might also wait a couple days, just in case it is your hormones making you feel this way. For me, that's usually the case. :)

Personally, I don't believe in DH having to live the same life as me while pg. However, other women do. It's really all up to the both of you. Good luck!

Christy

TTC2 C3 CD25 10DPO (but 3rd day of spotting. :(

Christy

BFd big sis for 14 mths. Hope to nurse Kyle even longer!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-23-2003
Fri, 07-25-2003 - 2:19pm
Hi, i'm going thru the same thing right now, We've talked about him not drinking for the next couple of months jus to see if that make a difference. But everywhere we go, there it is a 12pk of SAM which he can't refuse. I feel bad for asking him to do that, especially during the summer (ya know wit all the cook outs goin on in stuff). But not4nuttin I've made sum sacrifices too. Sorry if this aint much help, but figured i'd add my 2 cents.

Good luck :-)

Candice mom to Ayden 8-28-04 & Kameron 11-25-05 :)
 
 
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2003
Fri, 07-25-2003 - 2:22pm
Honestly I think I do feel "shut out" but I have insecurities already. I just want him to be my crutch and I want this to be our experience not mine. He was told his cholestrol was high and had to change his diet, so I changed mine as well. We eat the same things and do the same exercises. I quit smoking when we met b/c I knew he hated it and I was ready to quit, he was there for me the entire time. I guess b/c of everything we've been thru, we've done it together I just expected him to be ok with it. Again, right now it seems like anything will upset me. His arguement is that he doesn't drink that much anyway...well that's my argument as well, why should it matter. So frustrating! Thanks for your comments!

Kelly
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-09-2003
Fri, 07-25-2003 - 2:26pm
I totally get it. If I were you... I'd wait until the hormones die down a shade and then have a very nice, rational talk with him. You've made sacrifices to share the low-cholesterol-diet experience with him, and now you're just asking for the same in return... (along with the social shut-out thing). Good luck, and let us know how things turn out.

Tami
Mommy to Anna 7.7.04 & Ben 11.19.06

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2003
Fri, 07-25-2003 - 2:34pm
Kelly:

I am right there with you. Something else you might mention to him....alcohol has been proven to effect sperm motility (how fast sperm move and if they swim in a straight direction) so while he doesn't drink that much anyway it should not be such a hard thing to give up. My DH and I feel the same way as you, this should be our experience not mine. Although, it is a tough call for couples to make. It sounds like you guys have a wonderful relationship and really see marriage as a team effort, that is a rare find. Hang in there, he might surprise you and decide to change his mind.

Logan

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2003
Fri, 07-25-2003 - 2:45pm
Thank you all so much for your comments. I'm ok with being wrong with this if it's my hormones that are causing me to feel this way. I think I'm going to let him read all of these responses and see what he thinks. We do seem to have a strong relationship, either way (he stops or doesn't) we will work it out and everything will be fine. It's just so damn frustrating that my emotions are going CRAZY!! Thanks again ladies!!!

Many (((HUGS)))!!!!

Kelly