maxandmalcom...

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Registered: 05-19-2003
maxandmalcom...
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Sun, 10-19-2003 - 6:53pm
Heather...I see you haven't been on the board since you announced your bfp. I hope you're on soon. I got a light bfp today. I went to the store, bought some hpts, and couldn't wait until morning. I could only "hold it" for an hour, so I'm sure it wasn't very strong. But it was definately a line. I'm quite familiar with the "squinting" behavior that "maybe I can see a line", but this was w/o squinting. I'm shaking. I'm scared, excited, etc. I haven't told DH yet, trying to find a special way. And I want it to be darker. I have 2 more tests, so I'll do it tomorrow am.

One thing I'm nervous about is my pets. I'm scared they won't adapt. I understand that when the baby comes, my feelings will be so strong for the baby that the pets will take the back burner, but I just worry. I know it's normal to be scared. Pleasepleaseplease see this!! Thank you for all of your support!! :) Well, the dog is whining to go out. Take care, and hope to chat soon.

Kel
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Registered: 10-13-2003
Sun, 10-19-2003 - 8:57pm
Hi Kel,

Congratulations, I'm so excited for you!!! That's awesome! My first test (that I took at about 6pm) was quite light too - the next morning it was darker. You will feel so much better when you tell your husband! It's got to be very scary to see that and be by yourself. Have you figured out how to tell him? Gee, all I said was - Oh. My. God. Look. At. This. But he was standing right outside the door changing out of his work clothes.

Sorry I haven't posted since to bfp - I called my doc on Fri and the computers were down so they couldn't schedule an appointment - but the receptionist did say that they don't do a blood test unless I want it - I think I want it, what do you think?

So emotional roller coaster huh? I know how you feel!! Don't worry about the pets - I'm sure everyone will adapt. My sister-in-law (with twins) is slowly getting rid of al of her cats (1 out of 3 gone already) because they are too much work but I don't know if I feel the same way. Tons of people have animals and kids - we'll both figure out a routine.

Are you going to move over to the June Expecting message board? I think I am (once I go to the doc and get some more info) Maybe we can swap info over there - it would be nice to be able to ask someone an "is this normal" question.

Please let me know how you tell DH - I'd love to hear that. And let me know what your doc says too - we can exchange appointment tidbits!

OK - off to make some ginger tea (after dinner has been queasy time lately - as well as 3am - get that!) Congratulations again - I'm so happy for you!

-- Heather

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Registered: 03-27-2003
Sun, 10-19-2003 - 9:41pm
Congrats to both of you!
Running Woman
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Registered: 05-19-2003
Mon, 10-20-2003 - 8:55am
k2p1e,

Thanks for the support about the pets!! I think my dog will love the baby, but will hate getting less attention than she is used to getting!! :)

Kel
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Registered: 05-19-2003
Mon, 10-20-2003 - 9:24am
Hey Heather, glad you caught this!! :)

Yeah, DH is going through some crap right now, with his job and school. He's a little overwhelmed, and I get to help add to it...geez. He's not happy at his job, and has 2 possibilities that will come up this week. He is working 2nd shift, and we only see each other awake for about an hour a day M-F, he has school on Saturday, and we see each other from 4pm on, then Sunday is ours. :) It works, but I'm just nervous about adding someone else in there. Like I said, it will work out fine, I'm just freaking out a bit. We didn't think it would be so quick to get pregnant. In all reality, we only BD'd once during the fertile time. Seeing how I work at a mental health clinic, I'm thinking about talking to one of my supervisors. Hey, they're all lisenced!! :) But I don't know. As for telling DH, I was thinking of checking out some of the archives, they had some good ideas. DH's b-day is coming up in one week. Maybe throw something in there. Maybe a birthday card for "dad." I haven't had any real symptoms yet. Bbs feel a bit better actually. Nervous stomach, but I think it actually nerves at this point. I pee alot. :) I'm thinking of heading over to the June expecting board. Heck, our CLs are both there!!

Yeah, if I were you, I'd get a blood test. That way you can see exactly how much of the hormone is there, and the doc can tell you if it's a normal level for your stage. I think it's just a way to get relief. :)

Ok, off to sign up for the weekly newsletter and to peruse the board a bit before I start working. :)

Kel

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Registered: 10-13-2003
Mon, 10-20-2003 - 11:27am
Hi Kil,

You know, right now in my life it is the "perfect" time to have a baby - and I'm still stressing out about everything! I don't think you'd be serious about this if you weren't freaked out a little bit! There is never enough money or time right? Your DH is going to be so excited (and probobly a bit overwhelmed!). Gee, with your schedule, I'm surprised you had time to BD at all - ha!

What I'm stressing out about today is the whole work or stay home issue. Before that BFP I was 100% sure that I wanted to stay home and today I'm second guessing it. All of our appliances in the kitchen are going and it just makes me go through the what-ifs...what if we don't have enough money? Is it better to be financially secure (w/ 2 jobs) and do daycare or be strapped a bit and stay home? Then there is the issue that my inlaws watch my SIL's twins full time while she works, they are almost 2. Will they even offer that to us? Is it selfish for me to ask or even accept the offer? (DH says yes, he doesn't agree with the whole thing) but daycare is easily $8-10K and that's alot of money! Ugh - not to sound stupid, but sometimes I wish I made LESS money so that it didn't logically make sense for me to work (with DH income it seems like $30k is the cut of point - if I make less than that then it doesn't financially make sense to work). Then there is the fact that I ENJOY working (most days) and I would like my chicldren to see me as a woman who can do whatever she needs or wants to do. Oh - I'm not going o solve this one today I guess. Right now I'm thinking, stay home 6mo - 1 year and THEN decide. But will my job be there when I get back? ACK!!!

Have you made an appointment to see your doctor yet? I'm waiting for a phone call right now. I got a blood test tommorrow so hopefully I'll get in sometime this week - I have so may questions for them.

Oh - have a good day - MOMMA! Have you told anyone yet? I just called a girlfriend last night - she's sending me all of her books and stuff.

See ya!

H.

No, I'm not stressing :)

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Mon, 10-20-2003 - 12:56pm
Hey Heather, thanks for being around. :)

Just curious, how do you come to the decision that it's the perfect time? It's not going to change anything here...just reinforce what we decided a month ago. :) I'm not in the job I would like, but I'd like to be a vet, and that takes FOREVER, and I decided that I was not going to wait forever to have babies. I do like my job, it is very flexible, and I'm about 90% sure that I would be able to go down to 32 hours and keep all benefits if I chose to do that at any point. And I do not have to put in 8 hour days, I just need my 40 (or 32 if it goes that way). I'm in social work. Doesn't pay terribly well, but it's not bad.

When I was in high school, and probably even college, I KNEW I wanted to be a stay-at-home mom. As I grew in my profession, I began to doubt that. In school, I had to take a couple of child development courses, and they said that QUALITY day care was no disadvantage for the development of a child. It actually said that it would encourage the development of peer relationships and the trusting of other adults. They will learn to share, compromise, etc. But, it is *your* (my, whoever's) baby, and it is hard to let go. So...I don't know what I'm going to do either. I know that my parents were not where we are when they began having kids, and my mom hasn't worked outside the home for over 32 years! My dad worked his way through grad school on crappy jobs like a parking lot attendant, and they still managed. They didn't have a nice house or cars like we do though. (and we're DEFINATELY not well-to-do in our community!!)

As for the money, I've heard that the second income is generally blown on day care, and it ends up serving for a respite for the mother.

I have a close friend who is able to stay home with her baby, and is expecting #2 in early June. They do fine. They don't do much, but they have a beautiful home in a nice neighborhood.

What kind of work do you do? I'd like to think I could get another social work job later if I chose to stay home, but our economy is awful, and the state is cutting everything. So I may end up getting a low-paying job elsewhere, as there are typically 70+ people applying for the jobs.

As for the ILs watching the baby, I think it would depend on your relationship. I wouldn't do it with my in-laws, just because it's not a good environment. :( My parents are probably too old and are waiting for my dad to retire. But really, you could try to tap into any resource possible. As your pregnancy progresses, maybe an offer will come up?

I have not called my doc. Are you supposed to call your primary care physician, and then she refers you to an OBGYN? I don't know how it works. I was reading on the June board that there are a bunch of foods that you should avoid. That stinks. I'm not a big eater anyways, and I'm not interested in watching it. I avoided eating the cookie dough last night though!! :) I figured that one out myself. It's not good for me, can't be good for baby!!

Well, my appointment is here, gotta run. You have a great day to MOMMA!! (that comment brought tears to my eyes!!)

I have not told anyone yet, DH will be first.

Take care

Kel

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2003
Tue, 10-21-2003 - 7:28pm
Hi Kel,

I hope my comment about it being the perfect time for a baby didn't come off as cocky or conceited at all!! We've been married for 4 years (dated since we were both 19) and are both in a good financial situation so that if one of us stays home we know that we will be able to do it - I mean no more out to dinner 2/3 times a week but we will be able to make do. Also all of our family is in town so that will help alot too. Besides, we've been mentally ready for this for about a year - that's what I meant. Of course I'm still freaking out a little bit!!

That is so great that you will be about to do a 32 hour work week. Unfortuantly that it's an option for me. I'm an electrical engineer and even though I could do my job with a good computer at home my boss has told me that it is not company policy - grrrr. My only thing is that I don't know one person my age who has given up a professional career to be a SAHM. I feel like I'm being selfish or lazy by wanting to take off of work while my kids are little. You know though, I'm the first female EE that has gotten pregnant in this company (only 2 total - the other woman doesn't have or want kids) so I wonder if they will change their minds when they realize that they may lose me completely. But then again, I may change my mind the closer I get to my due date.

Ugh I've been on the phone with my doc's office all day! I'm having tissue discharge (no bleeding) and it totally freaked me out. Of course I was in an all-day confernece today so I could only call or check messages on breaks. Luckily I've found some info online and it seems like it's perfectly normal - I guess as the baby grows and implants more the uterus wall releases tissue as it attaches to it. Makes sense but it was very scary to see! I purposly made it sound worse to the doctor though becasue I can't get an appointment until Nov 20th. and I was hoping if I made it sound worse then they would squeeze me in sooner. I love my doctor but they are the WORST for scheduling appointments. What a pain!

Anyway...hope you are feeling good and everything is going well with you. Let us know when (and how) you tell your DH! I'm so excited - I'm telling my family on Friday (big family dinner!)

Take Care,

Heather

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