Men and getting pregnant

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-27-2003
Men and getting pregnant
6
Sat, 09-27-2003 - 1:13pm
Help! My husband and I are trying to have a baby. We have always had a good sex life but now when we do it during "good times to get pregnant" my husband get's so psyched out that he is unable to finish ... Therefore making it impossible to have a baby. Are there any suggestions on how to help avoid this situation? I love my husband very much and we both want a child badly ... Any advice is appreciated.
Avatar for sams_i_is
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2003
Sat, 09-27-2003 - 1:19pm
I have and still am going through this. You need to not let your dh know when you are O'ing. Mine always seems to know without me telling him. It has gotten better. The men just feel pressured for whatever reason. I laugh because I am the one getting blood drawn and I had my first IUI which cramped like no tomorrow. All they have to do is produce the little swimmers. Good luck. Just try to not lead your dh on that it's go time. LOL

Sams

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-23-2003
Sat, 09-27-2003 - 2:35pm
I responded below

Traci & Roger

Jordan James born April 10th at 4:09pm

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-25-2003
Sat, 09-27-2003 - 3:31pm
I agree, bd every other day or every three days, and don't tell him when its time. Tell him you threw out the charts or something lol. I think that we do put a lot of pressure on ourselves and our dhs during this time, especially when we are obsessed (I dont know about you, but I am!). Make it fun or romantic...be creative, Im sure he will forget all about ttc when its more spontaneous feeling!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-09-2003
Sat, 09-27-2003 - 5:32pm
I don't have any earth-shattering advice, but would like to say that this problem is more than likely a temporary glitch. Suddenly, his ejaculating has such "purpose," or "higher meaning," or whatever, it just sounds like he's getting a little performance anxiety. Just try to make it about making love again, don't let him in any of your little obsessions (i.e., charting, CM observations... all the stuff we talk about on these boards!) and maybe he'll feel the pressure go away.

Good luck to you!

Tami

TTC#1 since 8/02

CC2 CD25 11DPO

www.fertilityfriend.com/home/219d1

Tami
Mommy to Anna 7.7.04 & Ben 11.19.06

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-18-2003
Sat, 09-27-2003 - 8:59pm
hlvickery,

Hi!

My husband is always aware of my fertile times, but we don't think of it as work - like we *have* to BD. We think of it like, "positive OPK, time to have fun!"

Granted, we have only been married for about a year..

Another thing I do (without him necessarily being aware) is I try to focus on him a little bit more at that time and show my desire for him (who doesn't like that?) so that it's a part of the month he can look forward to!

:)

Good luck with that!

Shalhevet
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Sun, 09-28-2003 - 10:52am
I totally agree. I pretty much keep my husband in the dark about TTC. The first time we were trying I started getting stressed and although I would love to talk to him about it I know from his vibe that he would much rather keep these issues mysterious. I think for women knowledge is power but for men they just don't want to think about your cycle. It's not really very romantic at all. It has worked best for us for me to initiate when it is around that time. But I do not mention that it is THE time. Interestingly, I think I must give off some vibe during O, because this month I ovulated late which I did not know until a day later from the temp rise but the night before DH was really in the mood (which is rarer these days with our 14 month old around now-LOL) and I figured it wasn't even the right time. Good luck to you!!

Heather, TTC#2 C1, 7 DPO DD, 14 months