Motherhood Entrance Exam!

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Registered: 05-09-2003
Motherhood Entrance Exam!
1
Sun, 09-07-2003 - 10:19am
I was reading a magazine last night and came across this...thought you guys would enjoy!

Anne :)

THE UNOFFICIAL MOTHERHOOD ENTRANCE EXAM:

The TOY Test: Obtain a 55-gallon box of LEGOs. Have a friend spread them all over the house. Put on a blindfold. Try walking to the bathroom or kitchen. Don't scream, because that would wake a sleeping child at night.

The DRESSING Test: Obtain one large, unhappy, live octopus. Stuff into a small net bag, making sure all of its arms stay inside.

The PHYSICAL Test: Obtain a large beanbag chair and attach it to your stomach. Leave it there for 9 months. Now remove 10 beans. Try not to notice your closet full of clothes that you won't be wearing for a while.

The GROCERY STORE Test: Borrow one or two small animals (Goats are best) and take them with you to the grocery store. Always keep them in sight and pay for anything they eat or damage.

The MESS Test: Smear peanut butter on the sofa and curtains. Place a fish stick behind the couch and leave it there all summer.

The NIGHT Test: Fill a cloth bag with 8 to 12 pounds of sand. Soak it thoroughly in water. Rock, dance, and sing with the bag from 3 p.m. to 9 p.m. Lay down the bag and set your alarm for 10 p.m. Get up, pick up the bag, and sing every song you've ever heard. Then make up about a dozen more and sing those too...until 4 a.m. Lay down the bag and set your alarm for 5 a.m. Get up and make breakfast. Keep this up for 5 years. Look cheerful.

The FEEDING Test: Fill a large plastic milk jug halfway with water. Suspend it from the ceiling with a cord. Start the jug swinging. Try to insert spoonfuls of soggy cereal into the mouth of the jug while pretending to be an airplain. Then dump the contents of the jug onto the floor.

FINAL ASSIGNMENT: Find a couple who already has small children. Lecture them on how they can improve their discipline, patience, tolerance, toilet training, and the child's table manners. Emphasize that they should never allow their children to run wild. Enjoy this experience now while you have no children of your own. It will be the last time you'll have ALL THE ANSWERS! :)

Anne - Proud Mommy to Rachel Elizabeth!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2003
Sun, 09-07-2003 - 11:00am
LOL..that is too funny. Thanks for sharing :)


Chrissy

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