No drinking without turning heads

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2003
No drinking without turning heads
7
Wed, 10-15-2003 - 2:21pm
Hi Ladies,

I need your help again on something – I’m sure I’m just making a big deal about nothing.

We haven’t told anyone that we’re TTC – right now I’m 14DPO and really hoping for a BFP. Anyway…Friday night is girls’ night. I haven’t gone out with these girls in a few months (since we started TTC). Well, the night was originally just us going out to dinner. Now it’s meeting a one girl’s hours for a birthday toast, then going out to dinner and then going out for drinks.

What do I do about the whole not drinking thing!?! I know for most people it’s not a big deal – but I’m always the one who brings the champagne or wine! Don’t think bad of me, I don’t imbibe too much, but I do enjoy a glass or 2 of wine with dinner (well, I did as of a few months ago) and every time I don’t drink I get the “what, do you have a bun in the oven?” comment from someone.

So, do I say that I’m on antibiotics (I was a few weeks ago – not too much of a stretch), just say that I’m trying to lose a few pounds (but then I should order a salad to keep up the ruse) or just laugh it off when the comment comes up without an explanation? I’m just so afraid that my face will give something away. (BTW – this group is very competitive with the whole marriage/baby stuff and I’m just not ready to talk about it with them)

Any advice would be great.

Thanks!

H.

TTC#1, C1, CD35, 14DPO

http://circles2.fertilityfriend.com/home/2d38e

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2003
Wed, 10-15-2003 - 2:29pm
Hmmm, I have to deal with the same thing, sort of, except it seems EVERYONE knows we are trying so questions are constantly flying when I go up to my hometown where my parents and family are. If there is something I don't want to answer I answer w/ a short answer, laugh it off or just ignore it. If you have to tell them something just tell them you don't feel all that well and you don't think drinking will help and opt for a virgin drink, if ya'll are having mixed drinks. If they won't go for that and they ask if you have a bun in the oven tell them yeah and laugh it off, then they won't know if you are serious or not.

Amber

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2003
Wed, 10-15-2003 - 2:32pm
I think I've got some similar friends!!!! LOL....

Some suggestions - although it sounds like you've got some good ploys lined up already!

You could say - and go into detail as if it's a legit. story about how you're annoyed with it etc. - that you've got a urinary tract infection (which I think I HAVE right now and will be going on antibiotics!) That would give them something to believe and not nag you for more details...OR you could say that you and dh went out last night and you have a little hangover and will be taking it slow.

Also, you *could* have one drink and just really nurse it the whole time...or maybe get a bottle of beer (darker bottle preferably - like a Sam Adams or a Bass) and either A: only drink a little of it or B: drink none at all and empty it out in the bathroom and fill it up with water - nobody would notice since the bottle is dark. AND if they continue to check to see if you're still on the same beer or want another round, you could say that you got a new one for yourself on your way to the bathroom (better to be accused of being cheap than to have to go through the hassle of avoiding the 'ttc' talk right?!)

Hope this helps!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-08-2003
Wed, 10-15-2003 - 2:33pm
I am RIGHT there with you! Isn't it funny that the minute you aren't down with having a drink, people assume you are pregnant or trying to GET pregnant? Two years ago one of my girlfriends popped by on a Friday evening, and we offered her a beer. No sooner had she turned it down, I scream "YOU'RE PREGNANT!" And she was. She had this dumbfounded look on her face, b/c she had only been dating this guy for a month (that's another story).

I am also TTC, and am meeting a friend after work for happy hour, and I am sitting here wondering the exact same thing, what am I going to say when my usually "festive" self is suddenly sipping club soda. My solution is: The new South Beach Diet does not allow alcoholic beverages during the first phase. Just tell your girlfriends you are on a new diet and are cutting out alcohol for a few weeks. You don't have to tell them which one, (unless you are prepared for them to ask why you still eat carbs!), just say it's a health decision.

GOOD LUCK!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-25-2003
Wed, 10-15-2003 - 2:35pm
Hi! I have had to deal with the same thing with my husband's family. When I refused my favorite drink someone said "Is there something you need to tell us?" I just laughed and said "No!" and then changed the subject.

I think the best thing is to just laugh it off.

Hope this helps

Anita

Anita G.
Visitor (not verified)
anonymous user
Wed, 10-15-2003 - 2:43pm
I say don't stress about it and enjoy a few drinks with the girls for god's sake, you really don't know if your are (assuming you haven't tested) so I think if you "really" thought you were, you'd have tested by now at 14dpo) but by 14dpo I would think you might have some pretty good REAL pg symptoms and would know if you should or shouldn't. If I really suspected I could be pg (by real signs) I might hold off but one or two drink of wine without knowing shouldn't hurt anything. I have friends that are pg that are allowed to have a glass of wine per month after 2nd trimester but a lot of them had drinks when they were pg (didn't know it) and doc said it would be fine just to stop for now.

Just my opinion.

Julie

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-05-2003
Wed, 10-15-2003 - 2:48pm
I think some of the suggestions are very good! In your case, I would take a HPT Friday AM. If its positive, you know not to drink and use whatever excuse you want! If its negative and no signs of AF - use your judgement. Most people would test positive by 16 DPO (but its certainly possible to get a negative and still be PG if no AF and temps still up, etc).

Hope you get that BFP! Your chart looks great!

Vicki

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-07-2003
Wed, 10-15-2003 - 2:54pm
I have been in the same position as you a few times over the past 10 months.

Even my doctor said one or two drinks here and there is I'm trying is not a horrible thing. You don't want to overindulge but go have a few and have a good time.

If you think anyone will ask questions you could always nurse the drinks & tell them your not feeling well :):)

Kathy

TTC#1, C#10, CD#15

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2003
Wed, 10-15-2003 - 2:55pm
Thanks for the opinions ladies!

It good to know that I'm not the only one that has these issues. So this is what I'm thinking...show up late for the birthday toast so I don't have time for one! Offer to drive and use the antibiotics thing (too funny about the UTI - that's what I had a few weeks back!) if it comes up at dinner or later. My drink of choice is always wine and that's hard to "fake" so I'll pass on that one.

I'm thinking today that I "really" am so I don't want to risk the alcohol. Besides, I've already given up the caffeine, hair color (switched to highlights) and artificial sweeteners so it's seems a little contridictory to then have the alcohol - ya know?

Thanks again, I feel better now.

--H.

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