Should be stop trying (for now)

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-27-2011
Should be stop trying (for now)
Wed, 12-07-2011 - 9:16pm

My husband lost his job last week.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2011
Thu, 12-08-2011 - 8:12am
Ive always heard if you wait until you can afford children you'll never have them. As long as you feel sure your family can get by with all necessities covered by your income alone then I would keep on trying. Yes a baby is expensive, but assuming you get pregnant right away they still take 9 months to cook ;) surely dh will have found work by then. I just couldn't see letting anything come between me and something I really want. Money isn't what makes a family its love. :) good luck to you and hubby with either path you choose!
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2011
Thu, 12-08-2011 - 8:57am
I completely agree with Sassy-if you wait until the perfect time, you will never have a baby! No matter what life throws at us, we never regret having our kids.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-15-2011
Thu, 12-08-2011 - 9:36am

I agree - there will always be a reason to push back having kids.

I was here a few months ago debating whether I should not have kids due to my promotion. Being a control freak, I planned my first kid 4 years in advance, to a month. It took 3 days of TTC. Little did I know, that the second time around it won't be nearly as easy. And here I was, thinking that it was all up to me and when I decide to get pregnant...

What I am trying to say is you won't necessarily get pregnant immediately, and I wish I didn't debate having a second child as if it were getting a mortgage or any other business transaction. If I had started TTC when I wanted to initially, I would have realized sooner that my body's messed up and I can't fully control it. The way it happened is I just found out last week that I hadn't been ovulating (I'm 29). And that's when I realized how badly I really want another child and absolutely nothing else matters.

 BabyFetus Ticker
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-20-2008
Thu, 12-08-2011 - 9:38am
Honestly, it sounds like you'll be fine. I was 5 months pregnant with DS when I lost my job. It was devastating, but we adjusted and everything turned out for the best. Women can have babies well into their 40's, but I think if I was 38 I probably wouldn't put TTC on hold. Good luck with your decision, I hope it works out!

Mom to DS, July 2009
Expecting our little girl after three m/c - EDD 11/29/12

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-08-2011
Thu, 12-08-2011 - 3:29pm

If I were you, I'd keep trying. You've had your tubal reversed, so you must be really committed to having another one. Don't let financial worries stop you.

I've been laid off for 18 months, and my unemployment money ran out recently. We started budgeting months ago, knowing we'd be down to just DH's salary soon. DH makes decent money, but we're nothing close to wealthy. We're trying to conceive with me staying home. Being a one income family is tough, but it's doable. It does change your lifestyle. We just went down to one vehicle, since we can't afford two on his salary alone. We're probably not going to go on any nice vacations for a few years, so it'll be things like camping or staying at a relatives house instead of a resort. My daughter's favorite American Eagle pants come from the thrift shop ($12!) and my son's favorite GAP hoodie was a free handmedown.

As adults, we feel the economic change. But, honestly, the kids don't really notice. Some of their favorite things to do are cheap. We bake cookies, visit family on the weekends, go to the local free nature center, etc. There are plenty of family friendly activities that you can do on a budget.

And you don't have to give up everything. My favorite perfume ($100+ in stores) is only $24 at TJ Maxx. Our local pizza places have $5-$7 specials Monday through Wednesday. My son's basketball league is only $50 a season, including the jersey. We rent movies from the machine at the grocery store for $1 a piece. If you take the time to look (and DH WILL have time when he's not working) there are all kinds of ways to save money.

There are financial perks to having only one person work. DH will spend less money on clothing and gas, since he isn't go into work everyday. You won't have to pay a babysitter (in our area infant childcare is $800-$1500 a month.)

Momma to:
Madelyn, February 26, 2001
Aaron, January 2, 2005
Baby #3, October 2, 2012

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-27-2011
Fri, 12-09-2011 - 11:58am

Thank you for all your comments.