Silly people who don't know anything...

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-24-2003
Silly people who don't know anything...
6
Mon, 08-11-2003 - 10:34pm
Sorry, girls, but I've got to vent a little! I just got off the phone with my cousin (who really is my best friend, despite what I'm about to say). However, the girl has an almost 1-year-old baby and she knows NOTHING about how the female body works! I mean, seriously, she decided she wanted a baby, got off her BCPs, and was PG 3 weeks later! So, of course, she thinks that's how it should have worked for me, too. She is one of the only ones who knows I'm off my BCPs (I really didn't want to deal with everyone knowing and asking questions about it all the time), BUT she doesn't really know we're TTC. She doesn't really think there is such a thing as "trying"! I really don't think she'd understand it, so I didn't even try to get into it with her.

So, I've been off BCPs for 4 months now, and I think she's convinced I must have a major problem or something. She tried telling me tonight about a pill she heard about that helps regulate your cycle and help you ovulate (I assume she's talking about Clomid or something like it.) She thought I might want to look into it. I wanted to scream! But I didn't. Man, if she only knew how hard all of us here tried. I just wish she knew that just because some people can't just THINK themselves PG, that doesn't mean we're defective! GRRRRRRR!!!! OK, I feel better now. I know you girls will understand, even if no one else does! Thanks for being here for me, girls!

ADC ~ TTC #1, C4, CD31

http://circles2.fertilityfriend.com/home/adc1228

Abby's Signature

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2003
Mon, 08-11-2003 - 10:47pm
Hi there, I know just how you're feeling, I've also been off bcp for 4 months, and I made the mistake of telling everyone that we were going to start trying (I was just so excited), and I always have the feeling that they are thinking it should have happened by now. It does seem like it shouldn't be that hard right, I mean thinking back to all those years of being on bcp tring not to conceive, it just seems like if you aren't using anything and are bding like crazy when you are oing then it shouldn't be too long. And maybe 4 months isn't that long, but it feels like eternity, especially when other people know. I've just gotten af and feel pretty down right now, it seems like it will never happen (I can't imagine getting the bfp), but I bet when we do we'll look back and all this won't seem so bad! Hope you feel better soon!! Lisa
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-19-2003
Tue, 08-12-2003 - 12:56am
ACD,

I sort of know what you mean. The only person I told that lives near me is my SIL. She is one of those women who wait till there 30’s to have kids. She seems to think that it’s the only way to go. Sometimes she really makes me mad when she makes certain comments about being too young or something like that. I got my BFP followed by a BFN, and I told her about it. I was surprised when she changed her attitude towards my TTC. Maybe all your cousin needs is some time to get use to the idea that not everybody gets preggo right away. Hope she comes around, but I hope more that you get your BFP very soon.

Melony

TTC#1 C3 cd

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-09-2003
Tue, 08-12-2003 - 9:26am
In the United States, the AVERAGE time to conceive among couples is 6-8 months! Isn't it amazing... for every person like your cousin, there is a couple out there that has to try for 12+ months. Hope that statistic can help you put things in perspective for her (or at least give her a little bit of a clue).

Good luck and baby dust!

Tami

TTC#1 since 08/02

CC1 CD12

ps - If you've only been TTC for 4 months, I think right now may be a little premature for anyone to try telling you Clomid is the way to go. If it seems that you're ovulating, it WILL happen for you in due time. Hang in there and keep your spirits up!

Tami
Mommy to Anna 7.7.04 & Ben 11.19.06

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-06-2003
Tue, 08-12-2003 - 9:55am
I think people really don't understand just how frustrating it can be. Every Sunday when I go to church, I probably have 3 or 4 people come up to me and say... "So when are you going to have a baby?" Most of them don't know we are TTC, but it still makes you feel like something is wrong because you haven't conceived yet...

I've resorted to telling people that we aren't really "trying", but we aren't "preventing" so, when it happens, it happens... and that seems to get around it for the time being....

Good luck....

Trina

TTC#1 C6 CD26...
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-24-2003
Tue, 08-12-2003 - 1:31pm
Thanks girls! I'm glad some of you seem to know how I feel about talking to frustrating people! I'm SO glad that we haven't told anyone else that I'm off my BCPs - I don't think I could deal with questions/comments from any more well-meaning people!

So, if anyone out there is trying to decide whether to tell people you're TTC, I'd say DON'T tell anyone - just let it be a good surprise when it happens! :)

ADC ~ TTC #1, C4, CD32 (which will probably turn into CD1)

http://circles2.fertilityfriend.com/home/adc1228

Abby's Signature

Avatar for soprano1965
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 08-12-2003 - 1:38pm
I definitely know how you feel. It is so amazing how some people can fly through life not knowing much about anything-I sympathize with you , I got the comment the other day "gee my husband just looks at me and i get pg" . I just about cried when I heard that.

SOrry she is being so insensitive

Kim