Is there anyone else out there.....(m)

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Registered: 03-26-2003
Is there anyone else out there.....(m)
9
Fri, 08-22-2003 - 11:16am
that is nervous to TTC again after having a child with a disability or any other problem?

My last baby who is now 2½ was born with Down Syndrome and while I know the odds are in my favor of not having another special needs child, I'm still nervous.

BTW.....if you're interested in seeing my lovebug here's a link http://community.webshots.com/user/feather1000 just click on "Daniel"

Heather TTC#4, C1, CD19, 6DPO

heatherfamilysig.jpg

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Fri, 08-22-2003 - 11:30am
Your photos are amazing, and your family is gorgeous!

My cousin has Downs. When she was born, my aunt and uncle were very unsure about having baby #3. They did have baby #3, giving Sara the best possible advantage. Because she's always trying to do the same things as her little sister, she's developed faster and farther than most other children with a similar severity of Downs.

While everyone has to choose for themselves, I'm just offering this bit of thought. Sara's doctors commented on how often parents let their child with Downs remain the baby of the family, babied through adulthood. Often, having another sibling encourages them to succeed.

Good Luck to you on this very difficult decision.

Mary, Mama to Gavin, Derek, and Tyler
Avatar for annemd03
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Registered: 05-09-2003
Fri, 08-22-2003 - 11:36am
Hi Heather,

I have not had any children yet, so I cannot fully understand how you must be feeling. But I just wanted to send you some (((Hugs))) and encourage you to hang in there.

I worked as a school psychologist for 10 years (just took a much needed break last year)...and so of course, I have had a lot of interaction with children with all types of disabilities...and with their parents. I can say that those parents are some of the strongest and most courageous people I know, and I have so much respect for them and all that they do in looking after thier children and advocating constantly for their needs. I know how much you love your child and that he must be a very special blessing to your family...and at the same time, I certainly understand you must have so much fear about this happening again. The odds are that it won't...but that does not remove the fear.

I know that I have had fears myself of having a child with special needs...partly because in my career, I have seen so many that it almost seems like the norm! And partly because I'm 36...and I know the risk increases with age. But I just have to trust that things will be okay and not let it keep me from trying to have a baby.

Please know that we are all here to support you...and I wish you much luck as you try to conceive...

Take care,

Anne

TTC#1, C5, CD10, Clomid Cycle 1

Anne - Proud Mommy to Rachel Elizabeth!

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Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 08-22-2003 - 11:52am
Ahhh, thanks so much! Blair was telling me how awesome you guys were and she's so right! I'm almost hoping I don't conceive this month so I can stick around! :o)

Ya know, our decision to have another child after Daniel was EXACTLY for the reasons you stated. While we're very excited to add to our family, we know that it will be so beneficial for Daniel.

The past 2½ years have gone so fast yet so slow and we've learned so much. While we know we've been blessed with having such a special child, it does leave us a tad anxious if you know what I mean! :o)

Thanks again,

Heather

heatherfamilysig.jpg

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Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 08-22-2003 - 11:57am
Thank you so much Anne for taking the time to respond! I wish you much luck with your TTC! I have a feeling it will be very soon for you. :o)

Yes, Daniel has become such a special blessing to our family. He's really made us all stop and realize what is truly important in life. I know he's helped me understand patience and acceptance on a whole new level. These attributes, no doubt, will help DH and I are this new jouney we're about to embark on.

Good Luck to you!

Heather

heatherfamilysig.jpg

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2003
Fri, 08-22-2003 - 12:05pm
Heather-

I want to tell you that your angel is very cute. I love children who have downs because they look through life very differently and it means so much more to me. I pick up so much from those types for kids rather than the others. You get to see them while their wheels are turning and in the mean time you are getting blessings after blessings. You just learn so much through them. I just wanted to tell you to keep your head head up and God knows exactly what you can handle. Just always remember that. If he knew that you could not handle it then why did he let it happen. So keep your eyes up and God knows what he is doing for you, we just happen to not catch up until the end and then say so that is what that was all about. Put a smile on your face and everything is going to be great...(((((HUGS)))))

-Stephanie

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Registered: 05-20-2003
Fri, 08-22-2003 - 12:22pm
He is adorable!

I just wanted to let you know that I have an aunt with Down Syndrom and she is the centre of our family. She provides laughter for everyone and our get togethers just wouldn't be the same without her!

She is now 32 years old and has been married to a down syndrom boy for 10 years! They have their own apartment with a caregiver who comes over 3 days a week to help them plan their meals and deal with money. Of course it was tough on my Grandma as my grandfather passed away when Cora was 7 but she handled it well and Cora is now very independent!

Good Luck with TTC #2, I'm sure Daniel will be a fabulous big brother!

Angela



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Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 08-22-2003 - 12:49pm
Thank you so much Stephanie! You are right when you say that the Lord knows what he has in store for us. At this point in my life, I've actually stopped questioning all the what-if's and whys. I've realized that the odds don't ALWAYS work in your favor and the old saying "It can't/won't happen to me" just doesn't apply to you if God has other things in mind. Fortunately, I've come to see the blessings of adversity before it's been too late. I have Daniel to thank for that.

A big thanks for your thoughtful post.

Much luck to you and yours,

Heather

heatherfamilysig.jpg

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Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 08-22-2003 - 12:55pm
Angela! You've totally made my day!! It's so nice to hear such great stories about people that have overcome their disabilities to go on and lead happy, productive lives! I'm so thrilled to hear your Aunt (and Uncle) are doing fabulous!! I had to giggle thinking about those two being married though....talk about always being on an emotional high huh? I'd like to be a fly on the wall when they argue! *LOL*

Anyways, a huge thanks to your Aunt for breaking the "stereotypical" image that alot of people have in regards to people with Down. I know your inspirational post helped me alot! I sometimes get down in the dumps thinking about Daniel's future and the possibility that he might not be able to function independently. I have a renewed hope now!

Heather

heatherfamilysig.jpg

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 08-22-2003 - 5:52pm
Anne, I forgot to mention to you that 80% of kids born w/ Down are to mother's UNDER the age of 30. Try not to worry to much about the odds and your age (speaking from experience, I know it's difficult), your baby will be born happy, healthy and chances are with ONLY 46 chromosomes! :o)

Take Care,

Heather

heatherfamilysig.jpg