TTC & A Friend Problem
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| Thu, 08-07-2003 - 3:37pm |
Now I am to be her Maid of Honor for her wedding on the 30th of this month. Last Sat. was her bachelorette party and I told her I would not be attending. Reason being, I quit smoking & drinking and didn't want to be out until 4am as she was. Plus I am pretty darn moral and she said if "I do anything with another guy while I'm there it stays there, period". She hung up on me. Needless to say I didn't go to the party.
Second, her bridal shower is being thrown by me and a few others is this Saturday. (She didn't throw me one for the record) and she doesn't want me to participate in that and maybe not even the wedding now. She said this before hanging up.
She does not understand that I am TTC and what that means as far as lifestyle changes. She's 32 and I'm 24, you'd think the experience difference between us would help us see eye to eye. Obviously I'm a bit further ahead in my thinking on this subject & other morality issues than she.
Any ideas? I don't like this stress while TTC.

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There have been others who I have "outgrown" as well.....I think it's all part of growing up. For each friend you lose, you will gain 2 more that are even better with similar interests and goals as you. It is always special if you can keep an "old" friend, but you can't sacrifice yourself and your future for the sake of that freindship.
GL with your decisions~ ((((((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))))))))))))
Tara
Tara~ co-cl of Pregnant after TTC
WHY are you friends with this woman again? She sounds like a total loser to me. Sorry...just my opinion.
~Shawn
It is rough cycling through friends or rather, growing apart. My husband hopes that when I get pg I can meet some other women who are too. He's worried about my friends being completely understanding. I'd like to meet more people on the same page as me.
Take care,
Katie
Here's my suggestion: Stop stressing. Just decide to stop, period. You're right that it will just make TTC more difficult for you and you have to draw the line when something is affecting an area of your life that is so crucial and important to YOU.
Sit down and write her a short, but sweet, letter. "I just wanted to write a quick note to tell you that I'm sorry I upset you the other day and that our call ended the way it did. I know that planning a wedding can be a really stressful time and I never intended to be a reason for any of your stress. My reasons for not attending your bachlorette party are/were personal and I do stand by them and I hope you can respect that, but I am sorry that I missed/will miss spending time with you. If you really feel strongly about my not attending your bridal shower and not participating in the wedding, although I'm certainly saddend by it, I respect your wishes as this is a very big and special day in your life. You have enough to worry about and plan for, I don't want to further complicate things. Maybe after you return from your honeymoon and settle in, we can get together and chat and see if we can't mend things. I want you to know that I very much want to be a part of your special day so I hope you don't think otherwise and if you change your mind about wanting me there, give me a call."
This way, you've said your peace, didn't compromise your values and you were kind and gentle but also firm. In a nice way, you've said, "Fine. If you don't want me there, I'm sad, and I want to share this special time with you but I'm not gonna beg you to be in your wedding." She needs to grow up a little, maybe you can help her with that part.
GL!
Susan
Kim
Cheers to all.
Katie
You didn't upset me :D I just get heated thinking about her. My short post didn't have a lot of info I provided after the fact. My bad :D
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