Update...if you're interested...

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Update...if you're interested...
Thu, 04-10-2003 - 2:35pm
GA Ladies, let me first say that I'm so happy to be here on this board and that you're all so wonderful and I know you'll all be getting those BFP's here real soon!!

My dr appointment was as expected and took me for a bit on a ride. The dr says I have IBS (irritable bowel syndrome) which I kinda suspected. The acid reflux medicine I did for the past two weeks really didn't work, so now she wants to do an upper GI endoscopy to check everything out, especially since I had my gall bladder out 2 years ago. Fine...I can deal with that. What took me for a loop was that she too thinks that I may have chronic fatigue/pain syndrome and/or Fibromyalgia..which is a disease that may be better some times, worse others, but definitely often leads to depression....she already wants to start me on antipressants....and I won't be able to even ttc if I do go that route. She promised if DH and I make that decision that she only wants to do them for 3 to 6 months and see where I'm at, and if I'm better then we'll stop and I can ttc again. Of course I do not want to be on hold anymore...but DH wants me better, and the reality is I may never feel like I did 5 months ago, I may be in pain for the rest of my life, somedays may be better- others worse..it's all a crap shoot with these types of diseases. So I've got now, four different types of medications to help me with the pain and IBS...but I need to call back for the antidepressant. Sounds like I'm really on hold for ttc after a call to DH. His concerns are that if I'm always feeling yucky then do I really want to have another baby and will I be a good mom for that next child too. I can handle DS right now in my condition, it's hard somedays, but I'm definitely not totally a bad mom....is having another baby worth the stress, pain, and possible depression...who knows, but at least I know we'll give these antidepressants a shot- maybe they'll be the best thing to happen. Love you all! Connie


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 04-10-2003 - 3:44pm
((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))There are no hugs big enough for me to give you C.


Tara and my June bug!  ;o)

co-CL o

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Thu, 04-10-2003 - 4:00pm
((((((((((BIG, HUGE BEAR HUGS)))))))))) to you Connie. I know how even missing out on one month TTC can be like torture, but I think that you're doing the right thing. I had a friend suffering from depression while TTC and she had to stop to get it under control on anti-depressants. She was nearly hysterical about having to stop, but within 3 months she was a new woman and is now the mommy of a beautiful 14-month-old baby boy. I also have IBS and can tell you that just having that diagnosed was a huge step for me. I found tha pain so much more bearable when I knew what was causing it and that it was relatively benign. I know that you have several things on your plate right now, but I think that you'll find that finally having a diagnosis and knowing that you're working toward controlling the diseases will help you a lot in the next months. I also wanted to throw in my .02 on something. I don't know if you do this or not, but if you can find the time, I find deep breating exercises/deep relaxation/yoga to be absolutely necessary. Personally, I do yoga, but any of the above will help. If you don't already include one of those in your daily routine, try to give it a shot. All of the dieases you mentioned (as well as most all diseases) have emotional components and taking some time to get your mind centered will do a LOT for your body. Good luck, hon. I'll be thinking good thoughts your way. -Anne
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2003
Thu, 04-10-2003 - 4:35pm
(((((((((((((Hugs Connie))))))))))))))(m-long)

I hope you begin to feel better soon. At least you have a diagnosis to rely on, and some meds that will help with treatment.

Depression is a very hard issue to tackle. DH and I have both dealth with it for years, with and without meds. It's very hard becuase you do have the hope you'll pull out of it and therefore don't want to rely on meds. However, from a lot of experience trying both I can tell you that seomtimes meds are a good solution.

Depression is very much like any other medical condition-- like diabetes-- in which something in the body is "misfiring." In this case, your brain just isn't making enough seretonin. Sometimes SSRI-- selective seretonin uptake inhibitors- (most anti-depression meds like Paxil and Welbutrin), are needed just like a diabetic needs insulin. It is wise to only try it for about 6 months, but I shold warn you that you have to start these meds graduaelly and then build up-- they don't really become effective until about 1.5-2 months after you begin taking them. the other major detriment (we'll get to ttc) is that they can have severe withdrawl sympotms; it's very easy to become "addicted" to the drugs. Many people take them for ever and that is just right for them, others may just need it for a little while to get them out of a funk.

Of course ttc adds another challenge. I have heard so many mixed opinions on what is OK for a developing baby. Basically, there is no conclusive evidence on the effects of SSRI's on a baby in the womb. It is suspected that the baby can be born with a dependence on the drugs-- just as the mom would be dependent. I, personally, would not want to be on the meds and pg-- just may not be worth the risk of the unkown. It's something I'm sure your doc went over with you.

I know how much you want to ttc. Maybe there are other options you want to try first, before resorting to meds. Perhaphs counseling, and even a fybromyalgia support group would help. Your local hospital probably has something like that.

Do what feels right for you. There are a lot of plusses and minuses to weigh and just take your time to decide what is best for you. HUGS and continue to post. Email me if you want to chat more about this (stephiemf27@aol.com).



iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 04-10-2003 - 5:24pm
(((((Hugs))))) Connie! I'm dealing with depression, too, and have been on Zoloft for almost a year now. The anti-depressants only really start working after 3-6 months of use - I mean to REALLY feel a difference and feel good again. I've talked with my dr. who will be my dr. during pg. and he said Zoloft is fine while pregnant (there are some that are not okay) and has shown no adverse affects to the baby. Do some research on it; everything I've found on Zoloft (I research this one b/c it's what I'm on) says it's fine while ttc and pg.

Blessings, Jenn

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2003
Thu, 04-10-2003 - 5:39pm
Hi Connie,

I'd like to add my warmest thoughts and hugs to the mix.

While I was never formally "diagnosed" with depression or IBS, I have had some experience with it. When I was 21 I went to Africa and worked with women and children living with HIV/AIDS. I came back with Post-Traumatic Stress, IBS from a parasite, depression, and just about all of the "symptoms" associated with chronic fatigue.

The long and short of it is that I got limited help from the medical mainstream. I was desperately soul-sick, and my soul-sickness came from the need to grieve for the people that I met, the things that I saw, and the price it exacted from my 21 years. I believe that all of my physical illness was tied to this.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I can't imagine how frustrating it must be to have to put TTC on hold, but the time you have ahead of you is really important healing time. Knowing what I know from my limited (and wonderful) experience of you, is that you are an incredibly kind and generous person whose inner strength is a force to be reckoned with. Despite your own struggle, you have been an incredible support to many of us on the board.

I truly believe that the strongest and finest people in this world are forged in the fire of the struggles that you are going through.

Try to take the time that you need to heal, and treat yourself to the kinds of things Anne suggested (yoga, meditation, massage, healing touch). Before you know it you will be on the other side of this, and the baby that has chosen you as their mother will be in your belly and waiting to born.

Know that you have my love and support.


Avatar for gonzomonkey
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-03-2003
Thu, 04-10-2003 - 6:23pm

First of all, this is shorter than I had intended, because somehow my last message was erased.

I think you're very brave for sharing of all this with us. But I have a question. Did you doctor discuss any other options besides taking meds and not ttc'ing? Beacause I'm on a board for women with PCOS who are ttc'ing, and we discuss antidepressants a lot. And some doctors are prescribing their patients Wellbutrin. I tried that one once, and suffered no withdrawal when stopping.

I stopped all my meds cold turkey when we started ttc'ing, but my antidepressant was kind of brutal, and the withdrawal was agonizing. I'm hoping happy hormones take over when I do get pg someday, but if they don't, I will consider taking something. I've heard depression during pg can affect the baby.

I totally understand the hesitation about taking anything while ttc'ing, but you may want to see if there are options. Perhaps a psychiatrist would have more info on what may be safe to take?

Big, giant hugs to you, kiddo,


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 04-10-2003 - 9:36pm
Oh Connie I am so sorry you have been such a great support person here. I am sure that you and DH will do what is best for both of you. I felt great when I was PG and found I had depression afterwards, but its more stress now. I know they do have drugs you can take that are safe if you do get PG and you may want to ask about them. Hugs and take it easy girl. Let us know what you and DH decide.


Avatar for eedmmw
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 04-10-2003 - 10:37pm

I really feel for you with this information. I think there is a lot of good advice in these posts. I really agree with Anne. I think with all of these potential diagnoses, dealing with both the physical and the emotional/stress aspects is so important and can be really helpful. Also, just because you may end up with some periods of depression doesn't mean you can't ttc--maybe getting things under control first, but depression is sooooo common, right? And so is having babies. It can be done. And you can do it.

There are also a lot of antidepressants that are not habit forming (addictive), including the SSRIs (which include things like prozac, paxil). They are not habit forming like some classes of drugs, like benzodiazepenes (e.g., valium, xanax, ativan). It can take some time to find what would work for you if the need should arise (and I have heard that some antidepressants help with CFS and fibromyalgia, though I don't know the latest on that). With IBS, there are really important behavioral skills (for example, relaxation & stress management) that can help. If you see a behavior therapist (not in depth psychoanalysis or anything like that--unless you want it also--but a good behaviorist) they could teach you in a few sessions some good strategies that can help.

Well, hang in there. This has been a real roller coaster. I am optimistic that you will be able to get a handle on things and that you will be able to ttc if you want. I agree that I think once you have a more definite diagnosis, things also will get more manageable even if the answers aren't clear right away.

Hugs to you!


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 04-10-2003 - 11:06pm
HI sweetie, well first off {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}and secondly at least we have some answers. But I am so so sorry you will have pain your whole life. I sure hope something comes out that will help you with that. WOw, you poor thing 14 meds. I want the very best for you. I hope this meds help and you and DH have a wonderful TTC experience and a short journey once you try again. You are always in my thoughts and prayers. I know you are a terrific mom because you sure are an outstanding woman and you are very strong!!!!!!!!

Love Shan
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 04-10-2003 - 11:56pm
Connie, I'm sorry your plans are getting messed up. Of course being well is most important, but changing major plans is hard. And being in pain and raising children don't always mix well (I had major sciatic nerve trouble for about 8 months- having my 2yo mimic my ouchs was annoying- LOL.) My mother has had IBS for some time, and once she had the diagnosis she was able to manage it fairly well. The dx itself seemed to be a turning point for her (and hopefully for you, too). As for the endoscopy, I had one 1½ ago and it wasn't too bad. I wasn't able to eat solids for a day or so afterwards due to a sore throat, but they gave me good drugs for the procedure ;-)

I hope you are able to get yourself well and get your BFP as soon as you're healthy.

I'll keep you in my prayers,