Why are some people SO insensitive?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-07-2003
Why are some people SO insensitive?
4
Tue, 08-19-2003 - 11:02am
I just don't get some people!

Background:

My husband's brother's wife ( I refuse to call her my sister-in-law) had two "accidental" pregnancy's before she married my brother-in-law ( the 2nd pregnancy was revealed at my wedding, she was 7 months- the first one she hid for 8 months). She also has 3 other kids from a previous marriage (mind you she's not even 38). She's the kind of person that thinks about getting pregnant and does.

I got stuck talking with her yesterday and she just blurts out that her son (who's 18) is having a baby in October. I was a bit shocked but managed to say "oh, congratulations"

She knows that I have been having a really hard time getting pregnant and that I am very upset about it. Yet she felt the need to blurt this out. Mind you I NEVER see her son so it's not like she needed to tell me before I saw it for myself. I think she did it maliciously.

Thanks........I just had to vent, my husband wants nothing ot do with the subject.

Avatar for cypresstimber
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-23-2003
Tue, 08-19-2003 - 12:41pm
I totally agree with you, especially since she knows your situation.

It is a little aggervating when you know some 'Fertile Myrtles' and everytime you see them they ask you, "So, when are you going to have kids?" First of all, it's none of their business, and secondly, they might not know your situation. I had something similar happen to me on Friday. My high school class reunion was this weekend, but we had a pre-gathering on Friday night at my hometown's festival. I saw one of my close friends from school(mind you we haven't talked for over 10 years)& she was talking about how in a few years her kids were going to be teenagers & how she would be able to go out like she was 21 again. Then she turned to me and asked, "Why haven't you had kids yet?" I was astonished & offended that she would ask me that after not talking to her for 10 years, let alone be the first question she asked, so I answered, "We enjoy our freedom." Needless to say, she didn't talk to me for the rest of the night. My answer was cold & inappropriate, but she shouldn't have asked in the first place.

My DH & I have been TTC for a while now & I've been obsessing over every little sign-CM, cramping, tingling, etc. not to mention going through tons of pregancy tests & always having them come out negative. Our time will come, we have to be patient-which at times is VERY hard to do.

In the meantime, keep your head high, spirits up & if someone asks you again, just tell them that PRACTICE MAKES PERFECT! :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-17-2003
Tue, 08-19-2003 - 12:55pm
Wow I can't believe that she anounced that she was pregnant at your wedding what a thunder stealer! It sounds like to me that she is a very absent minded person who only cares about herself.

I am so sorry that she is so insensitve to your feelings. If I were you I would just not talk to her ya know? Or just be short and sweet. I ama very nice out going person but when someone is purposly trying to hurt me I am short and to the point. Basically if they call I tell them that I am really tied up and tell them that I will try to call them back. That way if they ask you why you didn't call back etc. you can say oh I said that I would try etc..

Don't worry I am sure that your day will come soon. Hang in their and know that the people here care and are willing to help and listen.

((((((HUGS))))))))

and many ++++++++++++++++++thoughts for you.

Lots of Love,

Jen

edd04/04/04

JPAKAJR-0907.jpg picture by JenRhodes

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-07-2003
Tue, 08-19-2003 - 1:16pm
As sad as this sounds, I normally do avoid my brother in laws wife like the plaque! If I didn't love her two little ones so much I would NEVER EVER talk to her!

Thanks for the advice

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-17-2003
Tue, 08-19-2003 - 1:19pm
I hope that it works out for you. Just think your body is waiting for the perfect sperm and perfect egg to make the perfect child. So hang in their and if she lives in PA I will kick her butt for you:-)

Lots of Love,

Jen

JPAKAJR-0907.jpg picture by JenRhodes