DH says no tracking...

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-08-2011
DH says no tracking...
8
Wed, 01-04-2012 - 4:36pm

I started temping this month and was going to start using OPKs too. DH knew I was doing it, but didn't ask questions. Yesterday he asked questions. He thinks I'm being foolish. And he's scared we'll only have sex on peak days if I track. So he's VERY against tracking. The way he sees it, if I want a baby then I should just have sex more. And, if it takes several months of trying, well then good because that means even more sex. He's not a complete sex addict or anything, he just says that's the "natural" way for a married couple to have kids when God wants them to. (Not to start a religious war, but God also blessed humans with intelligence, and our God given intelligence allows us to invent things like thermometers and OPKs, so TECHNICALLY I could say that God gave us tracking, lol.)

So I guess I'm back to going crazy and no tracking. Temping officially lasted 7 days. I could probably sneak in OPKs if I really wanted, but I hate to lie to him. I might try BDing every other day midcycle, maybe between cycle days 8-20, but I think he'll notice the pattern and be grumpy.

Momma to:
Madelyn, February 26, 2001
Aaron, January 2, 2005
Baby #3, October 2, 2012

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-24-2011
Mon, 01-30-2012 - 7:06pm

I had a similar issue too! But now I'm so stealth with my temping, he doesn't even know. I set my cell phone to vibrate at 6:30am, and set it on the lower shelf of my nightstand. When it buzzes, only I hear it. My thermometer is right next to it. When the buzzer sounds, I reach over, take my temp, and am back to sleep before he even stirs. My thermometer has a memory function, so I just look at the temp when we're both awake (and he has gone to the shower or whatever).

He doesn't want the "pressure" of conception sex, but I want to know what's going on with my body and my cycle.

Good luck! I hope you're able to find a solution that works for both of you!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2005
Mon, 01-30-2012 - 4:02pm

i know they say to take your temperature BEFORE you get out of bed. Well, I had a similar issue with my DH. So guess what I do?? I hide my thermometer in the bathroom, in my makeup bag. As soon as I wake up, I go straight to the bathroom and take my temp there! There is NO difference in my temps at all!

I am able to know when I ovulate, seduce DH and he hasn't the slightest clue of what I am up to! Makes it soooo stress free! (Well obviously I stress during the 2ww) but our relationship no longer has the strain it had, and I am still able to know when I ovulate. Hope this helps.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-10-2008
Mon, 01-16-2012 - 11:49am
Well, sometimes I wish I didn't have to track, but I do because I'm taking progesterone so I HAVE to know when I O. However, I do think its easier to know what's happening and when its happening when you are TTC. I've just been going at it for SO long, I'm tired of living life in 2 week intervals. But, it will be worth it when I finally get that BFP.
Also, you could tell your DH that IF there happens to be a problem with HIS count, BDing too much can hurt your chances. That might hush him up for a minute, even if that's not the case. ;)
 
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2008
Fri, 01-13-2012 - 2:24pm

You could alwyas just monitor your cervical fluid and make sure you BD when you have eggwhite.

Lilypie Fourth Birthday tickers
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-08-2011
Fri, 01-06-2012 - 11:31am

Thanks everybody. I don't want to track to chose which days to BD exactly, I just want to track to confirm O and LP length. I'm one of those people who stays up all night worrying and researching and analyzing. Lol, I would die without Dr. Google.

My friend had a baby in May and is thinking about going for #2. I'm thinking of telling her we're TTC again. Maybe DH will let me track if I have a female friend to talk to and he doesn't have to hear it. I know he hates those body conversations.

Momma to:
Madelyn, February 26, 2001
Aaron, January 2, 2005
Baby #3, October 2, 2012

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2008
Thu, 01-05-2012 - 10:19pm
That's tough! But.... I think if you are BDing every other day for 2 weeks of the month, I don't think he'll be grumpy! ;)
Rachel Mom to five great kiddos and one angel in heaven (MC @ 9 weeks) Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
Avatar for Cmmelissa
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2008
Thu, 01-05-2012 - 1:18pm
You could give him the argument that some couples try the "natural" way for years, and it's not until they start charting or using OPKs that they find out their was a medical issue causing them not to get pregnant ;) Lots of sex won't help if you aren't ovulating or your luteal phase is too short. Do you think he'll buy that?

I do understand where he's coming from, but I personally think it's hard for a man to understand the feelings inside of us clamoring for a baby.

Avatar for duchessdina
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2011
Wed, 01-04-2012 - 7:21pm
I didn't really start tracking for several months and was really worried that DH would say the same to me. I think if they know it's TTC sex it's not as enjoyable. DH has gotten on board now and isn't so weird about it now that I've been charting a while. You always have CM and cervical position to go by even if it's hard to distinguish sometimes. He doesn't have to know you're keeping track of those things. Sorry that he's putting a stop to your OPK's. I guess if it doesn't happen in a few months you can always bring the topic up again and ask if he's changed his mind. FX'd that you'll end up pg and not have to worry about it anyway!

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