Hard to not freak out daily!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-19-2005
Hard to not freak out daily!
29
Tue, 02-22-2011 - 12:23pm
Today was the 4th blood draw. The numbers so far are 210, 214, and 217. Of course I read all about the doubling and the meaning of the low numbers but the nurse said as long as they are rising its fine and stop reading the internet please. Its so hard to not freak out about things that are not in your control. I was in tears last night about it all. When I couldn't get pregnant I cried, now that I am I cry still, poor DH thinks I am completely losing it. I guess I just have to have hope right now because there was a 1.5% chance that the last pregnancy would have a chromosomal abnormality (same goes for this one) and it did and I think I had about a 1% chance of conceiving again and I did so if there is a 1% chance that those hcg numbers are ok I guess I have to just go with that. You never stop counting, you count til you O and then you count for the 2WW and now here I am counting days til I can get an ultrasound, there is always something to stress over. I am barely holding myself together. Plus my EDD is approaching soon and my therapist wants me to write a farewell letter to the aborted baby, its part of grief recovery. I wish i had time to do some yoga to calm myself down, my heart races constantly and I am worried about my blood pressure.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-09-2010
Tue, 02-22-2011 - 12:55pm
Okay I have to ask some more specific questions. When were these taken? And are the numbers you posted (210, 214, and 217) beats? Or something else? How many DPO are you now? How many DPO were you when these were taken? :)

Thanks! And I am sure once we have more info, others will reply with their thoughts and input :)
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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-19-2005
Tue, 02-22-2011 - 2:09pm

Those are beta Hcg numbers, the first was 10 DPO, the second was 15 DPO and the third was 18 DPO.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-03-1998
Tue, 02-22-2011 - 2:57pm
Oh sweetie. Hoping and praying for you....
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2010
Tue, 02-22-2011 - 5:26pm
I don't want to be the voice of "debbie downer" but I'm not going to sugar coat anything for you either. If those numbers were days apart - the rise is not good. Miracles can happen, but I know for me, if I get all hopeful I just fall that much harder.

I'm praying for you and for a miracle for you.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-19-2005
Tue, 02-22-2011 - 6:49pm

Yes Torie, they were taken Wed. Monday, Thursday.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2010
Tue, 02-22-2011 - 7:25pm
in a normal pregnancy, hcg levels should double every 48 to 72 hours.

That doesn't mean that a miracle can't happen, I just know that I would want someone to give it to me straight, and I'm sorry but that nurse is not giving it to you straight. It hurts my heart to tell you this, but I know I would want someone to tell me.

I'm still going to pray for you - miracles do happen.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-12-2008
Tue, 02-22-2011 - 8:36pm

Sending prayers your way...

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-19-2005
Wed, 02-23-2011 - 8:57am

Thanks to you all.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-28-2009
Wed, 02-23-2011 - 9:23am

Oh, honey :( I admit, the numbers don't look great but try not to feel like you'll never have another chance okay? We know of lots of women who have loss after loss and eventually have that healthy pregnancy. Teresa and Triona come to mind for me right away. Now, we don't *know* that you are going to lose this baby - stranger things have happened, but if you do you know we'll all be here to hold you up. Every single one of us has been down this road before and knows exactly how you feel. And when you're ready to pick yourself back up and try again (or if not) , we'll be there then too! FX for you that we are all a bunch of idiots and that your baby is just fine ((hugs))

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-19-2005
Wed, 02-23-2011 - 10:21am

Chelle - thanks so much. I check back everyday to see what is going on in your own saga, FX for you too.

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