Holiday Stress

Avatar for Cmmelissa
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2008
Holiday Stress
10
Tue, 11-16-2010 - 3:30pm

The thread above about dealing with family at Thanksgiving had me wondering about getting through the holidays after a loss.

Avatar for dani_d
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-03-1998
Tue, 11-16-2010 - 3:41pm

Yes, I'm gonna have to deal with this myself, as I had a baby girl

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2006
Tue, 11-16-2010 - 3:50pm

We found out we were expecting our DD the week of Thanksgiving 5 years ago, then we announced the pregnancy at Christmas.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-28-2009
Tue, 11-16-2010 - 4:18pm
Melissa, I had no idea you had any losses at all. I'm so sorry :(
Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2004
Tue, 11-16-2010 - 5:46pm

I'm going to be dealing with this also. I would really like to just skip Christmas this year. I was due to have my baby December 31st this year. I also have a SIL pregnant on both my side of the family and DH's. I am realy dreading it this year, I know I'm going to be a complete basket case. I wonder if I could just hibernate through the holidays.....

Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-10-1999
Wed, 11-17-2010 - 3:35am

Some advice:

 


 


Photobucket<

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2010
Wed, 11-17-2010 - 9:13am

I'm sorry for your loss too. My first loss was due around christmas. I've hated the holidays ever since, for the most part. Going into the holidays, my mind always wanders to what if... what if I hadn't lost any of my babies - I'd have a full house for the holidays, happy, cheerful, joyful... I'd have twins that would be 11, I'm sure they would LOVE christmas! I'd have a 3 year old - I'm sure that would be fun too! and this year, I'd have an 8 month old.


Powered by CGISpy.com

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-2009
Wed, 11-17-2010 - 10:18am

Yes, this is very much a concern for me.

My first loss occurred the evening of Thanksgiving. It was supposed to be a happy day, where I planned on telling the entire family and had it all planned out. Instead, I ended up having to keep quiet and suffer inside. Really, not a good day at all. So, I have an idea that this Thanksgiving will be hard, but at least everyone knows why and will be very supportive of me.

Christmas will probably also be hard, as my second due date was December 24th. I plan on trying to enjoy my kids and not worry at all about the house, etc.

I really plan on focusing on my kids and my parents- my Mom and MIL. I guess a lot of this has made me think of the fragility of life, and I want to enjoy the blessings I have, while I have them.

I hope that makes sense and doesn't sound morbid....



~April, Mom to son Jory, 23 and boy/girl twins, Alex and Haley, 11






iVillage Member
Registered: 03-21-2007
Wed, 11-17-2010 - 12:43pm
************** children and current pregnancy mentioned**************

Court's advice is very good and I am going to
keep many of those in mind!

Thanksgiving won't be too bad. We are going to my inlaws and my SIL is in this IF nightmare too. She had her first IUI last Sunday, so she will be at end of her 2WW. I am hoping we can console each other!

Since DS is almost 3, this will be the first Christmas where he actually understands what is going on. I am excited about that and counting on it to distract me. Most of the family who we will be around for both holidays know about our struggles (not necessarily the details, but just that we've had several losses in the last year) and won't say anything out of line.

******* current pg mentioned ************

My first u/s with this pg is 12/1. If things go wrong at that u/s (like they have twice before for me), the rest of December will be a nightmare for me. I don't know how I will get through that.
Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-28-2009
Wed, 11-17-2010 - 12:47pm
I know the u/s will go perfectly, Aryn :) I just know it.
Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-28-2009
Wed, 11-17-2010 - 12:49pm
The holidays are going to be really rough for me this year and I didn't expect to be so sad about it as I normally take things in stride pretty well. I don't very often fall apart but the thing is, I would have been due the end of November and so I should have a brand new baby in my arms for Thanksgiving and Xmas this year. It hurts me to by very BONES that I don't :( DH doesn't understand - in fact no one does so I will have no choice but to smile through the tears and hope no one notices.
Photobucket