I am so dumb...
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|Tue, 10-26-2010 - 12:50pm|
I just set myself to get my heartbroken and I want to ball up and cry just thinking about it.
So most of you who know me know I have a buttload of loans to pay back for all my IUI's that never worked (well they did but - nevermind) Anyway, I have always said we could never get another loan for IVF while I still owe these. Our debt to income is just too high. Plus DH filed bankruptcy before we got married about 8 years ago. Between the two we were flat out declined when we applied after we ran out of money from the first set of loans. They told me that the bankruptcy alone made us ineligable and I need DH's income to be approved so it's a catch 22. He's screwing it all up but I can't do it without him. I tried to make my peace with that and move on.
I dunno what happened to me today but something told me to apply again. This is the same place I applied before. I applied online the first time and was immediately taken to a decline screen. Today I hit submit and I got a msg telling me to call them so I did. The lady told me they may have a couple possible lenders and they would get back to me within 48 hours.
I know in my heart they are going to call me and tell me we have been declined and I am SOOO angry at myself for doing this. Now I have gone and gotten my hopes up and I just KNOW they are going to shatter my world. Our credit just isn't the kind that can get an approval like this and I know that. I just can't but wonder WHY then they would be considering this? I asked the lady, do you guys ever immediately decline people? And she said yes all the time. So it has got to mean something that they didn't immediately decline us right???
This is not going to end well for me and when it does, it's going to be bad - real bad.