Telling All or Keeping Hush?

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anonymous user
Registered: 12-31-1969
Telling All or Keeping Hush?
Mon, 09-10-2012 - 5:06pm

When you found out you were pregnant, did you tell a lot of people or did you keep quite about it? Post loss, do you find it's better to have told a lot of people so you had an even bigger support group when you did find out about your MC, or are you happy you kept it quiet so you didn't have to go back and update so many people with your heartbreaking news? For those of you that have had more than one MC, did you take different approaches each time? Which do you feel worked out the best for you?

Avatar for jmetz09
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-28-2010
Mon, 09-10-2012 - 9:09pm

I have had 4 total losses! I decided with my Daughter that I would wait tell I was at least 14 weeks I did tell my mom and Mother n law but that was all and of course my husband! That way you dont have to hear everyones SORRY's and such Unfourtnatly with my daughter I still ended up losing her due to Cervical ISsues:smileysad: Anywho I say do what you feel is right! I personally think waiting tell 12 weeks at least is a good idea:smileyhappy:



Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2011
Mon, 09-10-2012 - 10:12pm
We told our close friends and family after we heard the heartbeat at 6 weeks.. I'm still not sure what I would have rather done, since no one really understood but my mom and best friend who had experieneced it before.. I still hate to answer the question, how are you doing? Like not to be mean, but I want to say how do you think I'm doing? Or at least you got pregnant, or there was obviously something wrong.. I have mixed feeling about it. My husband and I both said we will wait until we are 12 weeks or so next time because it's too hard to talk about to those who haven't been there..
Avatar for cowboys_grl
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2010
Tue, 09-11-2012 - 1:29pm

since I HATE everyone looking on me with pity & all the "I'm sorry's"?

if I got pg. again, no one will know until 12 week scan and all looks good! (maybe just my Mom and MIL)

Kiki (hit my magic age of 45 and no longer TTC),but mom to a beautiful teen DD & 2 angels in heaven & married to my best friend

Avatar for CW8062012
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2012
Tue, 09-11-2012 - 4:10pm

I had 2 miscarriages, both occured at 8 weeks.  With my first I only told a select few (usually they guessed rather than me tell) our families didn't even know.  After the m/c we told only our families.  With my second I didn't want to tell anyone until after the first trimester (actually until I started showing).  Unfortunately that didn't work since my friends guessed since I wasn't drinking when we went out.  We also had a heartbeat in the 6th week and I let myself get excited.  So we told our families just to have to take it back almost 2 weeks later.  It honestly is the worst feeling when you get to see that excitement on friends and families faces who are genually happy and excited for you (especially if they know you had already m/c) and then to see their reactions when you tell them the bad news.  It broke my heart a little more each time. 

I am at the point where I will not hide the fact that I have had miscarriages, but at the same time I think it is a very personal thing so I won't just offer up the information either.  It's really how you personally feel about it.

Next time I do not want a single person to know until I can no longer hide the growing bump.  We will see how that goes.  I may turn into a hermit those first couple months...