Brainramble, kinda OT for TTC

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Registered: 08-07-2007
Brainramble, kinda OT for TTC
6
Thu, 09-01-2011 - 6:09pm

Well, I went to my OB/GYN and poured out my whole sordid story of YI since June 20th. The current thought is that it crops up when I am using the heating pad and have to take antibiotics. I used one for the soreness in the days after the ER and got a YI. It lingered because I couldn't treat it well enough. Then I used the heating pad on my low back/butt b/c my acupuncturist said to

Chouli, 34; DH 45 Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
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Registered: 05-13-2010
Sat, 09-03-2011 - 11:23pm
Chouli, I am sorry for your loss (now or 8 years ago). Dementia and alzheimers are such horrible diseases and as a nurse I see all the time how mean it can make some people and how it can affect families. I think that everyone has to make a decision as to how and when we say goodbye to someone and I am glad that you are able to remember the good times now that you have made that decision. I was estranged somewhat from my father for most of my life and when he died I chose not to go to the funeral (for many reasons). I don't regret that decision but it did cause a riff between me and his side of my family (there doing). Anyways, not sure what to say about the yeast infection except that sucks. Glad to hear the school year is going good. I truly don't know how you teachers do it........btw I love your rambles.

Andi
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Registered: 06-27-2006
Sun, 09-04-2011 - 5:37pm
Chouli, I'm sorry for your loss. It's too bad that you may lose all contact with your uncles and aunts, but sometimes family just aren't right for interacting with one another. I hope it's a nice funeral and you can keep those happy memories of your grandma in your mind. I know I feel kind of opposite...my grandma has dementia, but whereas she was NASTY before the dementia, she now can't remember who any of us are and thinks we are all the sweetest people whenever she "re-meets" us. I know that when she passes, I will choose to remember THOSE nice times.

Did you have to give yourself more than one Lupron shot? I can't imagine having to give myself shots. I hate needles and if I had to be the one to stick one in myself, I think I'd faint. LOL! I'm the same as you - gotta get into that pool at the shallow end and SLOWLY!
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Registered: 08-07-2007
Sun, 09-04-2011 - 9:44pm
Thanks Andi and Tee. Its amazing how many people have disjointed families. I was always embarrassed and thought ours was the only one.
Tee, I gave myself the shot for the two days before I left town just to make sure I could do it alone. Then I did the two days I was gone. It wasn't awful and I know I could keep it up by myself if I had to, but I think I'll let DH do it now. Easier on me.
Glad you like the brainrambles, Andi. Its a little self-serving of me and theraputic, but I hope that others would pick it up and ramble w/me.
Chouli, 34; DH 45 Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
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Registered: 06-27-2006
Mon, 09-05-2011 - 8:59am
Chouli, you definitely aren't alone with the disjointed family. I've been dealing a lot with rifts that are getting wider between my dad and me (and my dad and my sisters), that I'm not sure whether there will ever come a time when there will be complete estrangement. My mother is still married (unhappily) to my father, but she is afraid to "start over" with a new life of her own at her age (nearly 60) and having to fend for herself. She works full time, but it's two half-time jobs, so she has no health benefits. But, she's pretty healthy now. Her reason a few years ago for not leaving him was because she had tons of things she needed surgery for and my dad's health insurance is fantastic. Now she's all "fixed up" and she doesn't want to leave the house she's living in right now. I've offered to her to come live with us (even if it was a short time until she could find a job out here and her own apartment), but she doesn't want to leave the house that her father helped them do so much work on. So, she continues to live in misery, but that also makes it hard to tell my father that he's not welcome to accompany my mother out here to visit us. Some days I wonder if it's a bad thing to think about how relieved I am sure I'll feel when he's gone? While my father (I don't think) has ever been an abuser in the physical or sexual sense, he is a horrible emotional and mental abuser. He currently is mentally abusing my mother, myself, and my husband in a major way (which is why I believe I have this stress and night anxiety that I mentioned in the other post about relaxing and letting go). I'm definitely not sure how exactly to handle it, but I really think I might need to find someone to talk to about how to overcome these anxiety and stress situations.
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Registered: 08-07-2007
Mon, 09-05-2011 - 1:33pm
I think you're right about getting help. I don't recall if you are employed, but most employers have an EAP (employee assistance program) where you are entitled to a few sessions with a counselor. Contact your HR.
My family has the problem of writing off each other when we are mad. They also assume that there are allegiances and write off that person too. Which is what happened to me. My mom cheesed off my grandmother and uncle and they assumed I had picked up her sword and would want to take her side. I don't want to take a side. Her battle with them is not mine. I really want to live without regrets with family. But I am also a firm believer in the idea that life is too short for toxic relationships.
It sounds like your mom won't leave your dad until she's ready (if ever). You know you can't make her go. I urge you to not abandon your mom, but if you need to ditch your dad for your own emotional health, do it.
Chouli, 34; DH 45 Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
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Registered: 06-27-2006
Mon, 09-05-2011 - 6:34pm
Oh, I wouldn't ever abandon my mom. I'm just not even sure how to go about ditching my dad, since that would mean I could never visit my mom at her home and I would have to invite her, only, to my home, which would put her into a rough situation with my dad (don't want to cause my mom more emotional and mental abuse). But, I just don't know how to go about this without hurting my mom, too. But, again, I know everyone here isn't a therapist and I really should see someone. I don't work outside the home, so I don't have access to EAP, but I do have a church family and I may need to talk with my pastor about this and see if there's anything that he could suggest on coping with family issues. Thanks for letting me talk about it, though. Honestly, today I have felt a little bit more calm and I'm working through in my mind how to let some of the most recent issues go. Of course, I'm sure some of the calmness also comes from the fact that my father has left my house and I have no plans to see him again at least for a few more weeks and I have worked out a plan with my mom for avoiding his phone calls (I will only communicate with my mom via her cell phone and if she has to call me from her home phone, I won't pick it up until I hear her voice on my answering machine - yes, I'm still in the dark ages with using an answering machine to screen my calls). In any event, at least I know that I can avoid talking with my father on the phone, and I can ignore an e-mail. That may be the extent of my being able to distance myself from him. But, we can certainly avoid lengthy stays with my parents and I can ask my mom if she can visit when we know my dad has to work and she doesn't.
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