'Outsourcing' Pregnancy to India?!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-16-2007
'Outsourcing' Pregnancy to India?!
9
Thu, 10-14-2010 - 9:22pm

Hmmm, I just read this article about surrogacy and how it can affect moms and future parents: http://www.ivillage.com/outsourcing-pregnancy-india-do-or-dont/6-a-211864 Apparently it is becoming more and more popular lately.

Have you ever considered donating your eggs for surrogacy, or using a surrogate mom? What do you think about this?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-16-2007
Thu, 10-14-2010 - 9:26pm

I dont know if I could personally carry a baby for nine months and then hand it over to a different set of parents, whether it was my biological child or not. I just dont think I could emotionally handle it and the moral lines are gray and fuzzy there for me, KWIM? As for using a surrogate mom, fortunately I have not had to consider that yet.

PREGNANCY/KIDS MENTIONED HERE:

I do have a friend who is a surrogate mom right now, pregnant for friends of theirs who have tried and failed for years to have a child. I think it is an amazing, beautiful gift of life that she is giving them, I just dont think I could do that. She is planning to use the money she earns for her children's college funds (she has 2 boys, one and a half and three years old).

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2010
Fri, 10-15-2010 - 9:23am
I'm not reading the article because I don't want it to make me mad.

We are considering using a surrogate. Due to the fact that it takes us forever to get pregnant ourselves, and I miscarried the first two pregnancies and our third ended in stillbirth, we have decided that rather than using money for one cycle of IVF (which is all we'd ever be able to do because we have no insurance coverage) we will do a cycle of surrogacy - my husband's sister has offered to be the surrogate, as well as a very dear friend - who I met on iv. They have both offered to carry our baby for free. We are planning to have my friend be the surrogate, she and her dh have completed their family... they have several children, and she even offered to do it again in a few years for us if it works this time.

I think it is a wonderful thing that these 2 women have offered for myself and my husband. I think that in my emotional state right now there is no way I could do that for someone else as I do not feel that my family is complete - however, if my family was complete and I was happy with the size of it, I would not hesitate to try and help someone else out in this way... provided I had previous healthy pregnancies and had no extra worries of miscarriage and/or stillbirth.

That's just my opinion.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-16-2007
Fri, 10-15-2010 - 10:24am

Torie, how amazing of your friend - what an awesome gift that would be to you and your family!!!

I wouldnt want to make you mad, so please dont read the article if it would upset you - I just thought it was an unsual concept.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-24-2004
Fri, 10-15-2010 - 11:00am

I actually saw something about this on Oprah a few years ago.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-28-2009
Fri, 10-15-2010 - 4:43pm
I have actually donated my eggs and I thought I would have a really hard time knowing my babies are somewhere out there in the world but not with me but I actually got a lot of peace from it. You know the desperation a woman has to go to accept the concept of carrying someone else's egg? I love the thought of my egg helping someone achieve their dream of a baby. Now actually carrying someone else's baby??? I don't think so. If I didn't have such a hard time getting pg and staying pg it's probably still not something I could do but def not now. I would take that baby and run for the border and I know it! LOL Nor could I be okay with using a surrogate. I am okay with adoption but only after the baby is born. I don't just want a baby, I want to CARRY my baby and if I can't do that, I certainly can't stand to watch someone else get to carry it. That would just hurt too badly. I know that's childish but it is what it is...
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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-09-2010
Fri, 10-15-2010 - 6:23pm
Okay, so the others seem to be okay about this. I personally... am not. I am here because I am TTC, not because I am so freaking fertile I can carry anyones baby. Would I ever surrogate? No, I want my own baby right now! And chances are I wont be getting one. I mean in all honesty and all reality. The odds are against me.

Would I use a surrogate? Probably not. I have hatred towards women who are pregnant with their own babies, how much more would I have toward someone who was able to carry MY baby. Its already a slap in the face every month when we see the stark white BFN, but how much more of a slap would it be to see "Well someone else can carry your baby just fine, you are the one with all the problems Carley"... No, not going to happen...

I am speaking for myself, and no one else, but I think this post might not be best suited here on TTC... We are having problems getting pregnant ourselves, why would be want to carry someone else's baby? We all want to be carrying our own! I am sorry I am being so negative and mean. I dont mean to be, but sometimes we cant hide all our emotions and today is not a good day for me... I should probably delete this and not post it, but for what its worth, I am posting it...
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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-09-2010
Fri, 10-15-2010 - 6:24pm
p.s. Like Torie, I could not bring myself to read the article, for the safety of my computer screen. I am sure after reading it I would want to punch it... Maybe it had some wonderful news... but not for me, not today...
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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2010
Fri, 10-15-2010 - 7:37pm

Yea Carley, I still have not read it, and I most likely will not read it... I want a baby, I too just can't stand seeing others pregnant so I really don't want to read about others who can get pregnant so easily that they can have their kids, then turn around and have one for someone else...

However, here's the hypocrite in me... if surrogacy means I get my baby... then surrogacy it is - if I know someone who has has numerous successful pregnancies and is done with her family and thinks enough of me to even offer seriously to carry one for me, in my mind, my odds are going to be better with her carrying that child for me than for me trying on my own... 4 or 5 or 6 completely successful pregnancies to my 3 unsuccessful pregnancies - not too hard for me. Do I want to carry my own baby??? of course, I want nothing more than to carry my own baby, except the actual wanting of my own baby... and if surrogacy gives me that chance, then I'm willing to take it.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-16-2007
Fri, 10-15-2010 - 11:56pm

Carley, after I posted this I wondered if I should have just left well enough alone. I know this is a highly personal topic and could potentially be a very touchy subject. Im sorry, I truly dont mean to offend anyone. Forgive me?

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