3 miscarriages, 5 years of dr appts

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-20-2008
3 miscarriages, 5 years of dr appts
11
Tue, 09-21-2010 - 9:30am

 

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-28-2009
Tue, 09-21-2010 - 9:52am

Oh Leslie - I so sorry for all that you've gone through. I have been TTC for almost five years with two chemicals along the way. We have spend over $15K on fertility treatment going as far as injectable IUI's. The only two times I have been able to get pg have been via IUI but we are flat out of money now and so that is

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-20-2008
Tue, 09-21-2010 - 10:08am

Michelle,



Thank you for your response!



Private adoption and overseas adoption is expensive. But going through our state, they pay for the adoption classes, homestudy and other

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-20-2008
Tue, 09-21-2010 - 10:09am
Also, with IVF it would cost even more with the PDG and that isn't a guarentee either that the pregnancy would stick. So, 10k+ for another probable miscarriage?

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-28-2009
Tue, 09-21-2010 - 10:26am

No, I totally get not wanting to do donor egg or sperm. DH and I also talked about it and decided against it also. I just don't have the heart for it.



We have also considered in state open adoption and there is one main reason we can't do it.



The children available through foster care or from the state are there for a reason. Not implying at ALL that it's their fault but they have obviously come from turbulent and/or neglectful homes at best and I have a six year old little girl at home.



I CANNOT even take a small chance that a little girl or boy we bring home has a "moment" and puts my daughter in harm's way not just physically but mentally also. How can I justify having to pour my time and attention tending the fears and psychological problems of a child we bring home when I have already have a little one to mind. Plus, I really don't want her to have to watch her brother or sister go through the healing process which could in reality be very rough for everyone.



Even if I am totally unjustified in my fears, they are what they are and if I were to bring a child home I would feel like I would CONSTANTLY have to keep an eye on him or her and it would be a very long time if ever that I would feel okay with leaving him or her alone with my daughter.



Does that sound terrible?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-24-2004
Tue, 09-21-2010 - 10:49am

Welcome and I'm so sorry for your losses.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-20-2008
Tue, 09-21-2010 - 11:56am

Cheryl,



Do you happen to know if your friends did the Lovenox from the beginning? My dr. was initially all for it and now has changed his mind...he believes that my blood clotting issue would be a factor later on in the pregnancy but not during the first trimester. But how can he be 100% sure. Now, the other high risk OBGYN says, 'why do 1/2?'- meaning just the Lovenox. He believes that I should go all or nothing and do the Lovenox AND the IVF w/ PDG. My husband and I had all been for the Lovenox and trying again on our own (before resorting to IVF). Do you have any other info regarding your friends

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-11-2010
Tue, 09-21-2010 - 12:05pm

Hi Leslie - Welcome here. I'm very sorry to learn of you and your husband's complications and losses. My situation is in no way similar, so I can't be of any help to you in that sense. All I can tell you is what I think I'd do if in your situation.

I would also be against donor sperm. It's completely an individual choice and some couples may see no issue with using donated sperm and/or eggs; however, it sounds like it would be psychologically damaging to your husband if you guys did go that route, and understandably so.

I think that I would only try the IVF w/PGD if someone could answer all of the questions I had about the mosaicism and likelihood of ever being able to carry a fetus to term. (Hard to do with limited research, I know. Yet it seems like somebody somewhere should be able to give you some basic idea.) You say that the IVF doc wants you to get pregnant again so they can monitor you . . . does that mean that the doctor thinks something other than the mosaicism is causing the recurrent miscarriages? If you guys are going to try, anyway, I think I'd let that doctor monitor me and if another miscarriage happened, would let his team do the tissue analysis. It can't hurt to have additional information. Another miscarriage will hurt, of course, but that might be an outcome you'd have to face whether you let him monitor you or not.

I respect your decision to begin the adoption process. I would likely do that, too. It only makes sense if you know that you both really want children. It's a long process, so hopefully as it moves along, you'll be able to get some more answers from your doctors as you and your husband continue to try. Who knows, maybe you'll get a miracle baby in the interim. Or else one will come along after you bring your adopted child into your home. I admire your strength in moving forward on both the TTC and adoption fronts.

I hope you'll stick around here and let us know how things are going for you and your husband.





iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2007
Tue, 09-21-2010 - 12:08pm

Im sorry for your losses.

Have you just been on hold since your last loss in 2007? You said you have no problem getting pregnant, so Im just curious.

I also live in MA. I just saw an RE, Dr Shifren @ Newton-Wellesley a few weeks ago after 17 cycles of TTC & 2 losses. The only thing they found was Factor V Leiden, though after seeing a MFM Dr they recommended no treatment (blood thinner) and the MFM also said thats not the cause of my losses.
I feel stuck as there is nothing the RE can do at this point so we're just trying on our own.

Do you have private insurance as otherwise MA has great coverage for infertility. Unfortunately my DHs company has private ins. so they fall into loophole so Im screwed.










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*mindy*
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-02-2005
Tue, 09-21-2010 - 12:15pm

Leslie,



Welcome to the board. I am sorry for all of your losses. I would be very uspet with a doctor who advised me to get pg again just to (most likely) m/c again so they can do further testing. It lacks consideration for the parents who are heartbroken over the loss. I have had 6 losses over the years.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-24-2004
Tue, 09-21-2010 - 2:51pm

Yes, I'm sure they did from that first BFP and continued through the 9 months.

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