Hi everyone need some advice

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2007
Hi everyone need some advice
Wed, 10-13-2010 - 12:25pm

Hi everyone,

My name is Regan and dh is Matt. We are 28 and 27 yrs. old respectively. I've never posted here, but I was hoping maybe someone had a somewhat similar experience to mine and could offer some advice. My dh and I tried for 3 years to have a baby. We had 6 failed IUI's and a failed IVF which basically led to a diagnosis of severe male factor infertility due to unknown chromosomal abnormalities with the sperm. Basically what happens is that our embryos stop developing very early on due to these issues, I have no known infertility problems.

After our failed IVF last year we decided to stop TTC and moved on to adoption. We had fully accepted the idea that we would not have biological children, and I was legitimately fine with it. We brought our foster son (5yrs old) home in July, and will be finalizing his adoption in January. At the beginning of September I was surprised with a pregnancy. But, we found out at 10 weeks that it was a blighted ovum (the placenta grows, but because of chromosomal abnormalities the baby either never forms or stops developing very early on), and I'm in the process of having a miscarriage. We're sadden by the lose of what might have been, but we certainly were not expecting this baby, and we still have our son.

So basically what my question is is this. From everything I've read most cases of blighted ovums are pretty random things. Most people who have one do go on to have a normal pregnancy in the future. I was just wondering if with our infertility issues if this would be the case. I'm very doubtful that I could even get

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-16-2007
Wed, 10-13-2010 - 2:45pm

Reagan, Im so sorry about the loss of your pregnancy at 10 weeks. I have had a blighted ovum in the past, as well as 2 other pregnancy losses. You are right in that a b.o. is pretty much just random bad luck, but with your husband's male factor sperm issues, I dont know if this would be a more common problem for you. In my situation, I did go on to have a healthy pregnancy.

I really hope you can go on to have a healthy pregnancy in the future, if you decide to pursue TTCing again. Adopting a child is a wonderful thing, and an amazing way to grow your family, but it sounds like you still have more love to give. However you deicde to grow your family in the future, I wish you all the best.

Please post again if you have any further questions.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-21-2007
Wed, 10-13-2010 - 3:25pm


I am so sorry about your miscarriage.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2007
Wed, 10-13-2010 - 6:09pm

Thanks you guys for your kind words! I'm kinda on the fence about TTC again. Before this pregnancy I was fine with just having our (adopted) son, but i guess I kind of fell in love with the idea of this baby, and I'm having a hard time giving that up. Its not that I loved this baby anymore than my son, I think I just want the opportunity to start from the beginning, and I do want more children. I think we might ttc for the first couple of months after this miscarriage, thinking that it might be easier for us to get pregnant again soon after. I'm scared of going through this again, but I don't know if I could live with the regrets of possibly being able to have a biological child and we didn't try. If it doen't happen for us it won't be the end of the world. I'll just chalk it up to the fact that it just wasn't meant to be. Best of luck to everyone.


iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2007
Wed, 10-13-2010 - 9:00pm

Sorry for your loss & your TTC struggles.

Congrats on the impending finalization on your adoption. I have seriously started to consider this myself.

I dont have any experience with BO, but like any loss, I think there is always hope for a healthy pregnancy or else I wouldnt be here after 3 losses. Ive had 2 chemicals & 1 that stopped @ 5.5wks. Ive had a slew of tests & testing after my D&C & karyotyping on DH & myself & everything checks out OK.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-17-2008
Wed, 10-13-2010 - 10:02pm
Hi there Regan,

Sorry to read of your loss.

But congratulations on the impending adoption! Wonderful news.

I had a blighted ovum in 08, and then went on to have a healthy pregnancy after that. Then another m/c that was not a blighted ovum.

Hope this gives you some hope. I'm not sure about the infertility implications that are particular to you and your DH's case.

All the best

B, loving wife to L. Proud Mum to William Luke (22 months) and expecting Samuel James in November. >

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-24-2004
Thu, 10-14-2010 - 10:53am

Welcome and I'm so sorry for your loss.