Hope I didn't make a mistake (m)

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Registered: 03-27-2003
Hope I didn't make a mistake (m)
3
Sat, 03-29-2003 - 8:37pm
Dh had last night off and it was to be our first BD since my D&C almost 3 wks ago. Well then all day yesterday I had MAJOR EWCM, also had it a few days before, but yesterday was tons. Plus, must have been a hormone thing, because I was really in the mood. So all day long I went back and forth on whether or not we should jsut go for it and ttc even though I hadn't had a full cycle yet. It's the first time in my LIFE that the EWCM was so mcuh and so obvious. I usually only recognize my O in hindsight. Finally by the time we got the kids to bed, I had made up my mind to wait one cycle, b/c I felt uncomfortable w/getting pg so soon b/c I didn't want to have another m/c. Although in the back of my mind, I can't stand teh thought of tryign to avoid getting pg when that's what I want so badly! WEll in the heat of the moment, the thought of a condom is NEVER appealing, ecspecially since I was so totally in the mood (sorry if that's tmi). It was just that it's been a stressful past few weeks and dh and I were so connected and so we just went w/it. I knew in my mind tha tif I really wanted to avoid getting pg, I would have insisted on a condom or pull out, but that's not what my heart was telling me and everything just seemed so right. Well after, I ran to the bathroom and tried to "expel" as much of it as I could ( again sorry about the TMI). I felt all right about whatever happens until today I am reading more online and all of the sudden it seems liek everythign I read says it's really not good to get pg first cycle after m/c! I would feel so guilty if I got pg and had a m/c all because I was too horny and too anxious to get pg to use any common sense. Here I am a grown woman acting like some teenager in the back seat of a car! I feel so conflicted b/c part of me woudl just LOVe to get pg this time, but then if I did and m/c, I would never forgive myself. I mean, I know odds are I won't get pg this time, but who knows. On the other hand, God's plan is the one that happens, not mine and so if I'm meant to get pg this time, then He will have that happen and it wil because He planned it that way, and if I don't, the same. I lost my angel this time for no real "reason" other than chromosonal, which seems to equate to jsut one of those things, and so I have complete faith that God wanted it that way for some reason that only He knows. Sorry this is so long. I just hate this not knowing and waiting and guilt but at the same time feeling hopeful.

Katy
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Registered: 03-27-2003
Sat, 03-29-2003 - 11:03pm
(God ment.)

I think you pretty much worked through what I would have told you in your own post! I am of the belief that your body will not accept a new pg if it is not ready. And you are very right in that it is GOD's plan, not ours. He will do everything in HIS time. Even if you do get pg, there are many women who do and go on to have quite healthy pgs. GLTY! Jacqui

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Registered: 03-27-2003
Sun, 03-30-2003 - 9:36am
Lots of women get pg right after a m/c and have healthy babies. if it was meant to be it will happen. dont feel guilty about wanting a baby. i am also waiting for one cycle (had m/c 3 weeks ago) but i want to ttc right now!! we have used condoms (which i also hate) but i feel the same way as you-i dont want to use condoms when i want to be pg so badly. however, i dont feel physically ready yet-still having some spotting and cramping so i will wait one cycle until i feel better. i wish you TONS of luck and hope that you get pg if thats waht Gods has planned for you. If not, maybe next month and we can maybe be pg together!!! (((HUGS))) Susan
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Registered: 03-27-2003
Sun, 03-30-2003 - 9:41am
oops-meant to post that to Katy, but it went to Jacqui. Sorry girls-still learning this new board! Susan