I am back again

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-22-2004
I am back again
14
Thu, 04-21-2011 - 1:04pm
Well, looks like another one of us from the October board is on here. My doc couldn't find the heartbeat on the doppler so sent me for a sono to make sure everything was alright. We had already seen the heartbeat on the sonogram at 7 weeks. So we go over expecting to see a bouncing baby in there and there was not. My baby's heart stopped at 8+4. So, I had a D&C yesterday and here I am bruised, bleeding and heartbroken. My doctor said that it may be an issue with progesterone or some sort of hormonal abnormality. They sent everything to a lab to see if they can figure out what caused this miscarriage. I don't know how long it's going to be but I will be waiting. They said I lost a lot of blood during my surgery (1000 ml's) and that my hemoglobin is only 10.4....so I am tired all the time. I think I got a unit of blood at the hospital although I am not sure about that. I am going to have to ask when I go to my follow up appointment. What kind of testing can I do to figure this mess out? I don't even know where to go from here. It's not a getting pregnant issue....its sustaining a pregnancy. I am so lost!

Here is a very nasty vent part so don't read it if you don't want to:
I feeling like a complete failure. I don't know why it is that I struggle to have a child and you have people having children that don't take care of the one's they have. Why is it that I was a 30 year old crack head on welfare...that I would probably have 10 kids no problem. Why is it that people like us have to suffer. It's just not fair. My husband is being deployed in September and what if he doesn't come home.....this just stinks. I hate it that I have to go through this and I hate it that I have to explain to a 6 year old little girl why she isn't having a brother or sister. I was optimistic about this pregnancy and obviously that didn't work out for me.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-29-2010
Sat, 04-23-2011 - 11:44pm
I'm so sorry You are going thru this. I often think the same thing that for some it's so easy and many of us struggle. I have worked with so many families with numerous children who get taken to foster care cause their parents don't take care of them. It just sux. I hope you heal quickly. HUGS!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-22-2004
Fri, 04-22-2011 - 3:18pm
Thanks julia! I am not sure why I lost so much blood. I have a follow up in 2 weeks and I was planning on asking then. It's kinda scary when I think about it because I don't know if something went wrong or what. My mind is where yours is. It sucks and it's hard to see all these people with children they don't deserve or want to take care of. It pisses me off really. Don't worry about ranting, I did it. It makes me feel better, especially knowing that I am not the only one that feels that way.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-11-2010
Fri, 04-22-2011 - 12:02pm

I am so sorry that you're back here and hope that your stay will be a short one.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-22-2004
Fri, 04-22-2011 - 9:41am
Thanks so much girls! I will make an appointment with my doctor. I know he told me that it could be a progesterone issue but that's all he really said. I am going to see if I can't get some testing done while I am waiting to try again. I don't know when we will try again but I just want a baby so badly. Much love to you ladies for all the support you have given me. Hopefully I can be as helpful to you as you have been for me.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2008
Thu, 04-21-2011 - 9:59pm

I'm so sorry for your loss. It is such an overwhelmingly devastating experience, so I completely understand your frustrations and bitterness. I even feel upset when good people around me get pregnant, let alone those are unwanting or undeserving, I think to myself " why couldn't this have been ME?!" I also would have been expecting an October baby, but experienced a natural miscarriage at about 7 weeks in March. I think I was especially bitter and angry the first week or two after the miscarriage, and then time helped to ease those feelings.

I haven't had experience with different types of fertility testing, but I do have thyroid issues (namely, the lack of a thyroid), so I know it's important (among many other factors) that the thryoid working properly in order to get and stay pregnant. Before I had my thyroid removed, I had a condition called Hashimoto's thyroiditis in which your body attacks the thyroid and produces thyroid antibodies...my doctors believe that this condition caused my first miscarriage, because Hashimoto's increases risk of miscarriage farely significantly. So the point of all that is that thyroid function is important in fertility as you probably already know. So that's a good area to get checked out :) Best of luck as you heal from your loss and in your future TTC journey.

-Lucia

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-12-2008
Thu, 04-21-2011 - 9:13pm

I am so sorry for your loss.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-27-2008
Thu, 04-21-2011 - 8:50pm
(Hugs) I am so sad to see you on here. Please take care of yourself & your family as you go through this tough time.
I don't think its bitter, I think its natural to get furious when I hear about parents neglecting, abusing or even killing their children! Why are they given kids and not us? It's so unfair.
I am asking for the following tests:
Lupus & other auto immune diseases
Thyroid
Follicle count
Estradital
Follicle Stimulating Hormone (FSH) day 3
And I think that's it. If I remember anything else, I will let you know. Good luck with everything, and hang in there.

S

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-29-2003
Thu, 04-21-2011 - 8:31pm

I`m so sorry for your loss, i too was an october board member until my natural MC at 7 weeks.

Pregnancy%20ticker
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-22-2004
Thu, 04-21-2011 - 7:59pm
Thank you guys for all the support. I am pretty bitter and hurt. It just plain sucks. What kind of test should I have done? I have no idea where to go from here but if I could be pointed in the right direction that would be a start. Thanks so much guys.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-21-2010
Thu, 04-21-2011 - 7:47pm
I am so sorry for your loss. And that's not a nasty vent. I have felt or thought pretty much everything you said minus DH being gone and having a child. (((Hugs)))
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