Introduce yourself, tell us your story

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-02-2007
Introduce yourself, tell us your story
Sat, 09-10-2011 - 1:28pm

I think that lately, we've had some people move over to PAL and some new members find us, and I feel like we have some lurkers out there too. I think this is a good time for the lurkers to come out of hiding, and have everyone share their stories and get to know each other. I know how hard it can be to reach out after you've had a loss, but I have always found this board to be full of supportive, caring women. So let's get to know each other a bit.

Here's my story - warning - *****CHILD AND CURRENT PG MENTIONED*****

I'm Kelly, 36 years old, married to my husband Rob for 9 years. We've been together since college - so 16 years total.

I had my daughter, Lexi, at age 32. It was easy to get PG, a relatively uncomplicated pregnancy that gave me my little girl in September 2007. She's turning 4 on the 19th!! After we had Lexi, I had an IUD put in. When we were ready for No. 2 in 2010, I had it taken out on March 31, 2010. I got my BFP in early June - again, so easy, we were so lucky!!! I knew I was pregnant for a week (so about 4.5 weeks) when I started spotting. Went to see the doctor, couldn't see anything on the u/s yet, but my beta was 456.

Kelly, mom to 4 year old Lexi, wife to Rob TTC Number 2 since April 2010, with a loss in June 2010 at 4.5 weeks, and a loss in April 2011 at 8 weeks (possibly ectopic). Saw the RE in May 2011, we were moving forward with testing and an IUI when we


iVillage Member
Registered: 08-10-1999
Sun, 09-11-2011 - 10:55pm


I am by no means a lurker, but I have been a regular here for years (sadly).

I am 36, will be 37 next month and am TTC my first. DH is 42.




iVillage Member
Registered: 10-28-2009
Mon, 09-12-2011 - 12:29pm

HI, I'm Jamie. I'm pretty new to this board but have been on the infertility support board for a couple of years.

DH and I met about 7 years ago and married 3 1/2 yrs. I had an IUD for about 6 years and had it removed in October of 2007 as we decided we were ready to start TTC. Honestly, I thought we would be pg in the next couple of months. In January of 2008 I had an episode of SEVERE bleeding, as in going through a tampon and pad in like 10 minutes. It came and went for a couple of days. I called my OB and he did a check and thought I likely had a miscarriage, but I had never still not really sure what that was all about. We TTC for another year and still no luck. I wasn't all that concerned (just like the other ladies, I wish I would've been more proactive from the start!). I went for my annual and mentioned it to my OB so he scheduled bloodwork (normal), SA (normal - later told borderline), then my HSG...this was literally one of the worst days of my life. I thought nothing would be wrong, so I told DH he didn't need to come. Boy was I wrong...OB did the HSG (soooo painful) and then said 1. you have a very large tumor, 50% of your uterus, probably fibroid but can't rule out something worse 2. you need to have surgery ASAP


iVillage Member
Registered: 10-05-2006
Mon, 09-12-2011 - 5:54pm

I am 36 (going to be 37 in November) and my DH is 42. I met my husband in Dec of 1997 and we were married in June of 2001 on a riverboat on the Mississippi River (hense my screen name).

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2010
Mon, 09-12-2011 - 11:14pm
Hi. Im new to this board, but unfortunately not new to m/c. The latest one I just found out about a week ago today and am just now miscarrying, so please forgive me if I sound kind of bitter. First of all, I am blessed to have 3 beautiful children that I had very young. They are 26, 25 and 22. I had them at 16, 18, and 22 years of age. They were easy. I never believed how that would haunt me in later years. I have been married and divorced, more than once. I always believed that Mr. Right was out there, and I finally found him. I have the man of my dreams as my husband. He has other children too, the youngest is 15. He and my youngest are still at home. I guess we are selfish because we want a child together. I hear all of the other stories of women who have no children and that's how I feel..... selfish. But m/c still hurts. About 10 years ago with my ex, I did several rounds of clomid. I had had an ectopic when my youngest was almost 1, and lost my left tube, so when I tried clomid I was surprised and thrilled to get pregnant right away. I had had repair done on my remaining tube as the first one had ruptured and caused damage, but that was in 96 and I never dreamed I would get pregnant so easily. My beta numbers were checked. They started to go up and then btw 5-6 weeks they started to go down. I was seeing a regular OB/GYN, he said it "re-absorbed". I trusted him and tried again. This time I had spotting and cramping and when they did an u/s said it was another ectopic, twins lodged side by side in my tube. They gave me methotrexate. My niece had just given birth the night before and was down the hall with her new baby. That was a rough day. Two more times I used clomid with that doctor and 2 more times the betas would go up and then the betas would go down, always right around 5-6 weeks. I realize now that they were chemical pregnancies. I finally went to an RE in 2002. He tested me and found me positive for anticardiolipin antibodies and anti lupus antibodies. He said I needed to take baby aspirin to stop my body from clotting off the embryo and treating it like a virus. I tried clomid once again, and got pregnant once again in the summer of 2004. I was thrilled. I told everybody. We knew what was wrong and we had fixed it, so everything was going to be ok. I went for weekly u/s to try and see the hb. They finally saw it on the day I went to the appt alone, in the tube. I had to immediately go into surgery. I lost my final tube and the ovary that was fused to the side of it. I thought my chances of carrying a child were over. I knew I could never afford IVF. Fast forward to 2008. I am in the process of a divorce and meet the man of my dreams. We were married a year later in Nov 2009. We had both told anyone else we talked to that we didn't want anymore children, but from the first day we met,, we both admitted we did want more. So from then on we thought about it. In the summer of 2009 I came across info about embryo adoption. We had thought about adoption, but worried about the cost and about the mothers changing their minds. Embryo adoption seemed like the perfect solution. If we saved, we could afford to try it, once, and we would get to enjoy the pregnancy together. He is always so attentive, I couldn't wait for that. We decided on a clinic we wanted to use, had our initial consult done and got put on a waiting list. We were told we would wait 6-12 months. We were matched with our second choice of embryos in just 3 months. That was in April. We started our first cycle in May and were set up for a July transfer. My lining wasn't triple striped, so we got canceled and had to try again for August. We almost got canceled again for the same reason, but our clinic didnt trust the u/s report from my RE's office and wanted us to travel there to see for themselves, 5 hours away. All looked great and we transferred 3 3day embryos on Aug 14. We got our first + HPT just 8 days later. DH was over the moon. I was happy, but cautious. I remembered the past all too well. We started getting betas done. They went up a little at a time, always over the necessary 60%, but never quite doubling. On Friday Sept 2, they were 422. I spotted on Saturday, so I stayed on the couch all day and it stopped pretty quickly. I had been having lower back pain and was worried about a UTI. DD is also pregnant with her third(our 4th grandchild total) She is our biggest supporter. She warned me about letting a UTI go, so about 4am on Labor Day, I woke DH up and said I wanted to go to the ER to get it checked. They did a urine culture and a beta. The beta was 61. They did an u/s to confirm and found a 2cm cyst on my remaining ovary that was causing me the back pain. The clinic told me to continue my prog and estrace for one more day and have the beta rechecked on Tues at my regular lab, as she didnt trust ER labs. On Tues it was 34. I have spotted ever since. Mother Nature finally woke up last night about 3am and started to finish what was only barely started. What makes me SO mad is that my local RE TOLD ME that I would need heparin. I told our clinic and they disagreed. I took baby aspirin, but it obviously wasnt enough. I just REALLY feel that this could have been prevented. The absolute WORSE part of it all is the hurt and sadness that it has caused my wonderful DH. He has NEVER been around a mc before. In his experience, + HPT = baby. It has been hard for me, but harder on him. We have not really decided if we will try again. Financially it will be hard, but not impossible I dont think. We are going thru the motions right now. I have talked to a DR at the fertility clinic about what we would do differently next time. Antibiotics, heparin, and Im going to ask about steroids too. I have an appt with my local RE on 10/11 to start working on finding the cause of my recurrent losses, and we are back on the waiting list for embryos and will get the next set of profiles when they are sent out, if we wish to make any choices. DH and I have agreed that half of us wants to try again because life seems so bleak without the hope we once had, and the other half never wants to take a chance on feeling that kind of pain ever again. I know that most, if not all of you ladies here can understand how this feels. Im sure that I have put most of you to sleep by now, but I hope that a few made it through and can help me get back to a better place about all this. I am just so very hurt and angry and frustrated and......... I just dont know what to do. Right now I am taking 4 online college classes. I signed up for all online, figuring I would be pregnant and not want to go to class. They are just kind of extra classes anyway as I got my Associates degree last spring. They are a TON of work and keep me busy, but not busy enough I guess. I cant even really be excited about our new grandson coming in Jan, and that isnt fair to him or my daughter. Any suggestions on what I can do to get by this would be greatly appreciated. thanks. Oh, I almost forgot. I am 43 and DH is 45. That is one of the problems. That clock ticks too fast and too loud!!
Rana 42
Carl (almost) 44
Never doubt the concept of a true soulmate until you have experienced. There is nothing like it.
Hoping to have our dream come true......... a child to raise together
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-06-2007
Thu, 09-15-2011 - 1:00pm

Hi there....

I don't remember if I have posted on this board before, but I've been a lurker for the past few years..

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-14-2011
Sat, 09-17-2011 - 5:06pm

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-19-2005
Sat, 09-17-2011 - 10:11pm
Interesting thread, thanks to all who shared here.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-02-2003
Sat, 09-24-2011 - 9:08am

Thank you all for sharing your stories....

My name is Amanda (27) and DH is Jason (29). We've been together for 10 years and married for two this November. I've been taking prenatal vitamins for a year and other vitamins to try to help us TTC all summer. In August this year, we decided to TTC. I kept accurate records of my cycles all summer, used OPK, BBT, and checked CM. We only TTC three times and two of those times were in my fertile window. We were fortunate enough to get pregnant right away- our first cycle of TTC.

I kept track of my temps until a couple of days after I found out. I also kept track of my symptoms as I had them (because at the time, I thought they were exaggerated PMS symptoms). To our pleasant surprise, we found we were pregnant 9/16 (17DPO) with two First Response Easy test (our first cycle of trying). DH thought the lines had to be the same color, so Saturday 9/17 (18 DPO) I took Clear Blue Easy Digital- Pregnant. With that confirmation, we announced our pregnancy to EVERYONE! Everyone has been waiting for us to get pregnant and were as excited as we were when we found out.

Everyone was so supportive, other than my principal.

Anyway, I started bleeding this past Thursday.... Heavier than spotting, but lighter than a period. So, we found a Dr. that would see us on Friday. I had an ultrasound and he said my uterus lining looked nice and thick, but he didn't see a sack- but possibly the forming of one. He didn't sound alarmed... we looked it up online and the sac should be visible at 5 weeks (I was five and half weeks). The bleeding continued throughout the day and then I passed a clot- the size of my husbands thumb and two fingerwidths thick (his thumb is the size of my pointer finger). We called the Dr. very alarmed and he still didn't sound concerned. He called us back about an hour later with the results and he said based on my bleeding and my HCG blood test results I was having a miscarriage. We kind of already figured just based on what I was going through.

As upset as I am (I cried for hours) about it I know that this early on it was a chemical pregnancy and it happened because of some kind of abnormality. I guess I am lucky, in a sense, that it happened so early on and not later. My husbands mom had the RH factor and had difficulty staying pregnant, from what we've read they won't even test you for that until you are already pregnant. I hope DH doesn't have it, so we don't continue to have difficulties.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-10-1999
Sun, 09-25-2011 - 11:39am
Hi Amanda- I am so sorry for your loss. I totally understand hoe hard it is to "untell " everyone about the pregnancy. (((Hugs))). Hang in thrre- hopefully you can graduate to the PAL board soon chica!




iVillage Member
Registered: 09-28-2011
Wed, 09-28-2011 - 4:03pm

Hello All,

My name is Alisha I am 23. The first time I met my husband I was 12 years old and thought he was just absolutely gorgeous only one problem....he was 19 so naturally he paid no attention to me. He was the older brother to one of my friends. I went 8 years without seeing him again and one day I walked into a friends house and there he was. I felt like I was 12 years old again only this time he noticed me. We started talking and things moved rather quickly. We were engaged within 3 months(Feburary 17 2009)