learning to cope and losing all hope

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-19-2011
learning to cope and losing all hope
5
Sat, 11-19-2011 - 1:04am

my names jessica and i suffered a miscarriage at only 5 weeks

Lilypie Trying to Conceive 21 to 37 day cycle tickers
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-10-1999
Sat, 11-19-2011 - 7:15am
Hi Jessica, I am so sorry for your loss. :(

It is very hard to try to explain how you feel to someone who's never been through a miscarriage, and I'm glad you were able to find our board - this is a terrific group of women who have been there, done that, and who understand and can sympathize with your situation.

If you have been trying for 9 months to conceive come on down to the ttc 9+ months club. Those of us who have been trying for a longer time to get that magical bfp hang out down there a bit more sometimes.

((( hugs))) chica.

 


 


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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2008
Sat, 11-19-2011 - 9:51pm

I am so sorry for your loss. What you are feeling is completely normal. I think everyone on this board has probably felt the way you do at one time or another. PP was right that if people haven't been through a m/c themselves, it's hard for them to understand the emotions that m/c brings.They usually mean well, but their comments more often hurt more than help.

For me, once I got past the due month of my first m/c, it was a little easier to have closure for that loss. That's different for everyone, though. I am a Christian, so what has helped me cope most is knowing that my innocent babies are both in the arms of Jesus, safe and loved. For me, that is the ultimate goal of raising my children - to live Godly lives and spend eternity with Christ. My intention is not to push my beliefs on you (or anyone else), but that is what has helped me cope with my losses. Everyone copes and grieves differently, and most of the ways are completely normal and okay.

You are not alone. My OB says that 1 in 7 pregnancies end in m/c. That is a pretty high statistic. For me, 2 out of my 3 pregnancies have ended in m/c, so it's hard not to feel like "why me? why did I have 2 m/c's when other people haven't had any?" The hardest part is that many times, we don't get an answer to those questions. Just know that you're not alone, and we completely understand where you're coming from. I'm glad that you found your way here, but very sorry for the circumstances. I hope you get your positive test soon!

Jennifer

Siggy 05-24-10


Thank you Tan
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-19-2011
Sat, 11-19-2011 - 11:54pm

i have talked to other people that have had a m/c but they are alot more accepting than i am. and honestly reading your replies really did give me a sort of calming feeling that i havent had in a very long time. i will definently head down to that side of the board and talk to more ppl going through a similiar situation, i think thatll help me cope a little better and not feel alone.

i really am hoping that after this month once my due date passes. i do need closure, i never been through anything so heart breaking before. i over think everything as is lol

Lilypie Trying to Conceive 21 to 37 day cycle tickers
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-19-2011
Sun, 11-20-2011 - 2:05am

I am so sorry for your loss.

I understand the frustration of watching everyone around you getting pregnant. I work with two girls who both got pregnant on "accident" and constantly complain about being pregnant, and my best friend

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-19-2011
Sun, 11-20-2011 - 11:05am
i get exactly what you're saying bc those are all things ppl would say to me. its hard when the ppl who dont understand your situation are the first ones to have problem free, healthy pregnancies and complain about it all the way. or even worse not know how to even be a fitting parent. but i guess these were the cards i was dealt and i cant say "everything happens for a reason" bc im yet to figure what reason there would be for my bby to get taken away. maybe i'll find it someday.
Lilypie Trying to Conceive 21 to 37 day cycle tickers