Lost another Angel:(

Avatar for jmetz09
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-28-2010
Lost another Angel:(
12
Tue, 09-04-2012 - 11:47pm

I had so much Faith in this little Bean..However today when I went in for a follow up Ultra sound there was no heartbeat:smileysad: My heart is broken, But I am more pissed off then anything!!!! I dont understand why this keeps happening! We have done ALL the testing and still have ZERO answers! I am starting to Lean towards Adoption at this point tell we can afford to do more Treatments! I am not sure I dont want to give up hope I want a baby of my own and I know that it will happen but honestly I DONT get whats going on right now!!!

I know in the long run if I get JUST ONE baby outta all this I will be more then Happy! It just sucks to have to start over AGAIN! It took us a year to get pregnant! GRRR! Anyways I  have a DnC scheduled for tomorrow morning! And I apologize for being away the last few weeks I have been on a very bad Roller coster ride:smileysad:

I will be back on later tomorrow or the next day! Love you ladies

~Jessica~

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Avatar for dani_d
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-03-1998
Fri, 09-07-2012 - 2:54am

Oh Jess....I'm so sorry, sweetie. It's just so unfair and wrong that you have to keep going through this over and over. My heart is breaking for you. {{{{{{HUGE HUGS}}}}}} and prayers....

Avatar for jmetz09
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-28-2010
Fri, 09-07-2012 - 5:59pm

Thanks Ladies I am hoping that we may get some answers with this Genetics testing!! I REFUSE to give up hope and want  a baby more then anything! The dr's have not told me to stop trying so I REFUSE:smileyhappy:

~JessicA~

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Community Leader
Registered: 01-22-2010
Sat, 09-08-2012 - 2:11am

That's a great attitude Jess, keep your chin up, you're in my thoughts

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Avatar for jmetz09
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-28-2010
Sun, 09-09-2012 - 2:50am
Thanks ladies :smileyvery-happy:

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2010
Sun, 09-09-2012 - 2:30pm

Oh, Jess. I am so so sorry to read this. This is completely unfair! My heart is just in pieces for you and your DH. ((HUGS)) Many P&PTs.

 

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Avatar for jmetz09
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-28-2010
Mon, 09-10-2012 - 12:20am

Thanks everyone! Its been a horrible road I am not going to lie:smileysad: I have been Praying and Praying about it and hoping and keeping faith! I know that one day it will happen! And until that day I will not stop trying! Thanks for the support I really Appreciate you all!!

~Jessica~

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Avatar for cowboys_grl
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Registered: 03-28-2010
Tue, 09-11-2012 - 1:25pm

awwww, I just came across this!! I am sooooo sorry....I feel your pain!! I felt the same after my last loss! it just sucks & unfortunately you may never get answers to 'why'.  All I can say is you are still young, look into adoption, if you feel you want to go that route, but don't give up just yet, you never know what surprises may come, when you least expect it? And maybe not even trying?

Since I am older, I decided to not 'try' anymore and just see what happens?  so we are officially NTNP over next 8 months. And one of 3 things will happen:

1. we will get pg. & m/c again

2. we won't get pg., at all

3. we will get pg. & have our rainbow

hoping & praying for #3, but either #1 or #2 happen? then we are officially done.

prayers for you for peace, my girl!  :heart:

Kiki (hit my magic age of 45 and no longer TTC),but mom to a beautiful teen DD & 2 angels in heaven & married to my best friend

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2007
Fri, 09-21-2012 - 5:17pm

Oh Jessica! :smileysad:  My heart is just breaking for you! 

We started the adoption process and then found out we were pg. with our rainbow baby.  For me, adoption gave me hope that I so desperately needed.  It is so incredibly hard to endure multiple losses; I had 6 m/c's in a row before Anna.  We still have no answers as to why I repeatedly m/c'd.

Sending thoughts and prayers to you!

 

Triona

Oct.07 natural m/c at 6 weeks

Mar. 08 natural m/c at 5 weeks

June 08 D & C at 9 weeks, baby measured 7w5d, karyotyping revealed baby girl with Trisomy 22

April 09 D & C at 8 weeks, started heparin and low dose aspirin after pos. home pg. test, saw hb on u/s at 6 weeks and 2 gestational sacs, 8 week u/s baby only measured 6 weeks and twin "vanished," karyotyping revealed baby boy with normal karyotype

Sept. 09 D & C at 12w2d, started heparin at O, spotting at 11w4d, u/s revealed baby passed and was only measuring around 5 weeks.  Karyotyping revealed baby girl with Trisomy 18.

Oct, 09 Began weekly acupuncture and Traditional Chinese Medicine

Mar. 10 Diagnosed with PCOS, started taking Metformin for high insulin levels

June 2010 natural m/c at 5 weeks (chemical pregnancy)

Dec. 10 Clomid, heparin, tamoxifen, progesterone, intralipid infusions, low dose aspirin, metformin  +hpt Due Aug. 23/11

July 2011 Our miracle DD born 7 weeks early due to Pre-E, emergency c-section under general anaesthetic

Aug. 2011 DD discharged from NICU

 

 

Avatar for jmetz09
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-28-2010
Sun, 09-23-2012 - 1:30am

Hey thanks :smileyvery-happy:. Its been rough:smileysad: ...I have been having a really hard time with everything! Ever since we have been trying I have went up 3 to 4 sizes depending on where I shop it sucks! :smileysad:

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