m/c in 8/2002 - ttc for 16 months now...

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-18-2003
m/c in 8/2002 - ttc for 16 months now...
1
Fri, 04-18-2003 - 5:24pm
i'm new to the message board...i am coming to the end of my first clomid cycle after ttc for 16 months and having a m/c August, 2002...and i am anxious each month as it comes to the end of my cycle. i try not to think about it at the end of each cycle, but it is so hard. i feel like i am obsessed with having a baby, but i am almost 35 years old and we are trying for baby #1.

every month seems to be a let down for me, it is so hard to explain to my friends who haven't been through a m/c and are pg. all of my close friends are either pg or have had a baby in the past year - understand i am SO SO SO excited for each of my friends when they tell me they are pg, but it leaves a hole in my heart each time and brings back the sadness and emptiness. i get so frustrated when they say things like we weren't really trying or we were so busy last month that there was only one time that it could have happened and it did or something like that. does anyone else feel that way?

my cycles have been so off since my m/c (8 weeks for the first one after my m/c, then 52 days, then 42 days, then 34 days, then 43 days - which adds to the frustration because my cycles are delaying things even more. hopefully the clomid will help me O so i can get pg soon if not this cycle. i have been charting my bbt and it has stayed higher than pre O, so hopefully it will stay up there into next week when AF is expected.

good luck to those on fertility drugs or who have had a m/c and are ttc.

tnt

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-21-2003
Sun, 04-20-2003 - 9:57am
Welcome to the board. I am so sorry for your loss. I also have this envy of my friends. I have a cousin that is due next month and also a good friend that is due next month. They both found out they were preg right after my m/c. I just attended my cousins baby shower last week and I have my friends next week. I am very happy for them (my cousin was preg with twins and lost one) But I do feel this pain when I know that I wont be holding mine and I should be. I did have one dream that has helped me a ton. I had a dream and my mom was with me and no one else. Me and my mom delivered my baby and my mom cried and I held this baby for a short while then woke up. I really do think that my baby came to me in my dream to help me heal. It was soooo real. I had this dream about 3 months after my m/c in July 2002. Good luck in your ttc journey. Crystal