My annoyance list for this week/month

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-16-2012
My annoyance list for this week/month
Fri, 06-08-2012 - 5:11pm

I am very annoyed with the following:

Facebook pictures of ultrasounds, babies, pregnant bellys. 

People that get pregnant without trying, and have the easiest/non problematic pregnancy- "it just happened"

Friends that keep getting pregnant- and I have to fake a smile and appear happy when really i am just having a massive anxiety/depression attack. 

My sister-in-law who every week continues to send me a picture of her gorgeous child.  With quotes like "his first time sitting up on his own." or "Ethan's first tooth".

People who think that I want to hear that so and so is pregnant.  Guess what I don't!  It makes me feel bad that I am not pregnant.  And to follow it up people think it's fun to hear: "don't worry you will be pregnant soon.".....Okay---- well how do you know?  Do you realize I have had 2 miscarriages?  Do you know that it won't be anytime soon?!

Ugh okay...I had to get all that off my chest.  And I know I should be happy for those close to me that are pregnant because someday (hopefully) it could be me and I would want them to be happy for me also.  But my god right now I am just bitter.  Ill get over it (mostly) soon.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-10-1999
Sun, 06-10-2012 - 10:35am

I totally understand. I was one of those women who would break down and bawl at every new announcement. It took me an average of 3 years at a time to get PG, and I had had 3 miscarriages with no living kids. It was horrifying to realize I could become that bitter person... I didn't like myself at all. To protect myself I would block people's posts on Facebook - not delete them as friends, but at least keep their posts from showing up unexpectedly in my newsfeed.

On a good day I could go and look at their pages and not be as affected, and even be happy for them sometimes. People who have never had to work through loss and infertility have no.freaking.clue. what we go through.

But at the same time, we do need to step back and realize that THEY are not to blame for our losses. Being angry with them won't give us our own babies to hold. I've been in deep, dark depressions working through this stuff. I found that finding a doctor who actually gives a crap and tries to find out what's going on is the biggest help. Finding the reasons for my losses helped me immensely.

We tested everything - lupus runs in the family, thyroid issues run in the other side of the family. Nope, not the obvious. No folic acid issues. I had a symptonless infection, a progesterone issue, and there was a partial blockage in my right tube (dominant ovary side, btw), which was taken care of with an hsg. They didn't stop until I became pregnant.

Please, focus your energies on finding that someone who will help you in your ttc journey so you don't end up waiting until you're my age to succeed. I wish I had focused my energies sooner, but I also understand that it's really hard to look to the future beyond our 2 week increments.

I hope you can find some peace in your journeys, and above all else I really hope you get your sticky bfp soon.

Much love and (((hugs)))