need to know i'm not the only one!

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-08-2011
need to know i'm not the only one!
Fri, 09-09-2011 - 12:10am

Okay, so I'm new to this site. I can't help but feel like I'm the only woman in the world that cannot have a baby.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-10-1999
Fri, 09-09-2011 - 1:34am
I am very sorry for your loss. Sometimes it takes a little while for our bodies to get back in sync after a loss. Hang in there and keep trying!

What methods are you using to track your cycles?

I hope you get your bfp soon chica!




iVillage Member
Registered: 01-22-2010
Fri, 09-09-2011 - 7:29am

You're definitely not the only one to feel like that, unfortunately it is a common story. I got pg with the baby I lost on my second cycle of tryin but it took 9 cyces before I got another BFP. Hang in there, it WILL happen for you.

Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2007
Fri, 09-09-2011 - 9:02am
I understand how frustrating it can be. You think it will never happen. But if you give up now, it will never happen. With DS1, it took us 3 years to get pg. And tried for 2 years this last time. I think it is rare to be able to get pg right away. With everything that has to line up perfectly to actually have sperm meet egg and implant its amazing anyone gets pg! LOL

Maybe it would help to take a month or 2 off and come back a little more relaxed. There is a TTC9+Months here that may help you out too. A lot of the girls here have been trying for at least that long, some longer like 10+ years.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-2006
Fri, 09-09-2011 - 1:02pm
You're definitely not alone. While my DH and I do have one child, it took us 18 months and one miscarriage to finally conceive her. We've been trying for 3.5 years now to have another child and we finally conceived after 2 years of trying, only to lose that baby just before 2nd trimester. So, it's been since February of 2008 that we've been trying to have another baby. It's definitely hard. How long have you been trying for? Is your doctor one who you can sit and talk with about what your next step is? It's only been about 6 months since your miscarriage, so depending on how long you tried to conceive the baby you lost, added to that 6 months, your doctor might be willing to start some testing. I would check with your insurance and maybe schedule a consultation with your OB/GYN and just discuss where you're at and what they can do at this point (if they are willing to do anything). But, if you're under 30-35 years old, they might not do anything at all until you've gotten to that one-year post-miscarriage. I know that my doctor wouldn't do anything until it had been a year after my first miscarriage. Sometimes it CAN take several months to finally get that BFP. Perhaps you could start some things before visiting the doctor - you could begin temperature charting (doctors often like to see at least 3 consecutive months of charts to get a better picture of what's going on with your cycles), you can take OPK's, and you can do some things like taking guaifenessin (plain Robitussin or Mucinex without all the extra ingredients - read the label and make sure the active ingredients ONLY list guaifenessin). That can thin your mucus out a bit. Also, make sure you're drinking at LEAST 8 glasses of water a day (64 total ounces). Just some ideas. And if you aren't pg by around a year from your loss, then your doctor should be willing to do some testing and any additional information (temp charts) that you can provide will help your doctor to get an even better picture of where he/she might want to start with testing.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-02-2007
Fri, 09-09-2011 - 1:11pm
I am sorry for your loss and glad you found our board - this is a great group of supportive women.

I have to agree with the other posters - we all know how frustrating and depressing it can be to get a BFN every month when you want your BFP so badly. How long have you been trying since the m/c in February? If you're over 35 and it's more than 6 months of trying, go talk to your doctor and see if they will refer you to an RE and/or run some tests. If you're under 35, unfortunately, the reality is that the medical field does not really consider you as having been trying for that long. Statistically, it takes many women 6 months to a year to conceive.

If you're not already, things that might help you get that BFP are charting your temperature and using OPKs to predict when you are ovulating. Knowing your cycle is a huge help in terms of conceiving.

Also, you can't compare yourself to everyone else - it will just make you crazy. After a m/c, it can take several months for your body to get back on a regular cycle, and even then your cycle might not be the same as it was before the m/c.

Check out some of the other sections on this board and you will get lots of advice from women that have been trying for months and years to get their BFP. I hope that helps you in journey.
Kelly, mom to 4 year old Lexi, wife to Rob TTC Number 2 since April 2010, with a loss in June 2010 at 4.5 weeks, and a loss in April 2011 at 8 weeks (possibly ectopic). Saw the RE in May 2011, we were moving forward with testing and an IUI when we
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2010
Fri, 09-09-2011 - 5:56pm
I'm sorry for your loss. I agree with the other ladies. Hang in there, it will happen. After my 1st miscarriage we tried for seven years before I got pg again, miscarried again and tried for three more years before I got pg again, and lost my son at 35 weeks, tried for another year before I got pg again... I know how it feels to not see a bfp. I had so many around me getting pg that after 5 years of failure I couldn't handle it anymore and moved 1800 miles across the country so I could get away from all the babies, that year there were 10 babies born in my family. And I had been struggling for years.

Come here and chat with the girls, I became a member here in 1999, after my first miscarriage and here I am 12 years later still praying for that first living baby. This board was a godsend for me it's such a great support.

Good luck!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-05-2006
Fri, 09-09-2011 - 7:36pm

I am sorry that you have to go through this. I totally understand the feeling that I am the only one who can't get pregnant. My DH and I have been trying since 2006 and it doesn't get easier. I am hopeful that it will happen for us and we are starting IVF very soon. You are not alone. I know it totally sucks especially when you see awful people have babies and abuse or neglect them. It isn't fair. Hugs.........

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-10-2011
Sat, 09-10-2011 - 5:32pm
Thank you emily for your support. I feel so depressed not to be pregnant post my 1st m/c in March, we had been trying since then with a sonohysteroscopy in May. No luck so far. It's been 5 months since I m/c'd and everyone around me is getting pregnant, that adds up to all depression. I am charting, mucinex, drink extra water. Please let me know if there is something else that I can add to it.