Never thought it would be me

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-11-2008
Never thought it would be me
11
Thu, 06-02-2011 - 8:08pm

I know many women that have been a part of this board in the past, but I never thought I would find myself here. I have a healthy two and a half year old son that was conceived the "normal" way, with little problem. I have been TTC since April 2010. I spent three months on Clomid and finally went to see an RE. Walking into his office was all it took and three days later I got a BFP. I was elated. Two weeks later and I am mourning my first miscarriage. Although I am not TTC until after AF returns, several people suggested that I come here. (I visited the miscarriage board and it was much too depressing for me right now.) I talked to the fertility center today and they said that we could set up IUI as soon as I get my normal period.

I had no idea how devastating a loss like this would be. I was only 5 weeks, 5 days pg, but I feel like my heart was torn out of my chest. The only thing that seems to help me is talking to others who have experienced this, which is why I am here.

Thank you for listening.

Lilypie Pregnancy tickers

Pages

Avatar for dani_d
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-03-1998
Tue, 06-07-2011 - 4:25pm
So sorry, sweetie. It hurts, no matter what stage in pregnancy you were. {{{{{HUGS}}}}}
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-2006
Tue, 06-07-2011 - 7:29am
Not Christy, and I don't have any experience with IUI, but I did do Femara. I can't really compare Femara with Clomid, since my doctor went straight to Femara without trying Clomid simply because of the high incidence of side effects (mostly being lack of CM). I still got dried out on Femara, so much so that I needed to temperature chart to tell when O happened so I could time when I needed to start taking Prometrium.

As for going back to the RE right away, that's yours and your DH's decision. You don't have to go back right away and pick up where you left off, if you want to TTC on your own for a couple months. But, I will say that I'm not entirely sure that you're most fertile right after miscarriage, especially if you have IF issues. I've been through two miscarriages (spread several years apart). After my first m/c, we started TTC right away and it still took 13 cycles to get pg with my DD. After this latest m/c, it's now been a year (it'll be a year the end of June) since my m/c. Of course, I had a much longer healing time, so we didn't end up TTC until August of last year, when my first AF finally arrived. But, we changed doctors and in January decided to try a couple rounds of Femara/Mucinex/Prometrium, which didn't work (so we've stopped medicated cycles and are TTC on our own again). Neither time after my m/c's did we end up with being extra fertile post-m/c. To be totally honest, I think it's an old wives' tale. But, if you are not feeling ready to return to the RE, I would take a couple months to just enjoy one another and TTC on your own. Or, if you prefer a less invasive method than IUI, but you want to get a little help from the RE, perhaps you could request 2-3 rounds of Clomid or Femara before sitting down and talking about IUI? Those are just my thoughts. :)
Photobucket Visit my Blog with
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-11-2008
Mon, 06-06-2011 - 10:31pm

Christy,

Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-05-2006
Mon, 06-06-2011 - 9:51pm

I am so sorry for your loss. You are correct in saying that you didn't think you would be here. We all feel that way. It should always be someone else and when it happens to you, it really is devestating. It sucks that it has to happen to anyone. Hugs.......

Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-11-2008
Sat, 06-04-2011 - 9:41am

Thanks, Ladies.

I keep saying that I need to write a book or article about what NOT to say to someone who has just had a miscarriage. At least you weren't that far along, at least you still have your other child, you can always try again, or (the very best one of all) I've been meaning to tell you that I am pregnant and we would have had the same due date... that is just a sampling. I have much more respect for the ones who just stare at me and then admit that they don't know what to say. There is nothing to say. Just say you are sorry, you love me, you'll cook me dinner, whatever, just don't try to rationalize it. I know God has a plan, I know it will happen someday, blah blah blah, but it doesn't make me feel better today.

Whew! I didn't realize I needed to get that out! I sound angry!

Anyway, thanks for listening. It does really help to be around others who have been through it. <3

Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-30-2006
Sat, 06-04-2011 - 7:21am

I'm very sorry for your loss. It really doesn't matter how early it is, it's still incredibly painful. This is something you don't truly understand unless or until you experience it yourself.

Welcome to the board. It is amazing how much having a group of people who've been through a similar situation helps in our healing. We've all experienced this kind of loss, all of us are willing to listen and commisserate, and many have good advice

--Wendy
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-28-2010
Fri, 06-03-2011 - 5:51pm

I am very sorry for your loss... I have been in the same situation and know how devastating the loss of a LO is.My last 2 m/c's happened very early, between 4 and 5 weeks, and I definitely never thought that would happen to me... This message board is very-very supportive and I hope you find a lot of support here. (((hugs)))

Kate

Kate
mom to Marcus 02/03/2005
<>
pregnancy week by week
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-2006
Fri, 06-03-2011 - 5:25pm
I'm so sorry for your loss. I don't think any of us thought we would be here either. (((HUGS))) You've found a great place for support.
Photobucket Visit my Blog with
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-02-2007
Fri, 06-03-2011 - 1:14pm
I'm so sorry for your loss. I know you were early on in the PG, but any loss is a loss and it's still difficult to go through. I hope AF comes quickly for you and you can move forward with the RE and the IUI.

Welcome to the board. This is a great group of supportive women who will definitely help you through the recovery and TTC process!
Kelly, mom to 4 year old Lexi, wife to Rob TTC Number 2 since April 2010, with a loss in June 2010 at 4.5 weeks, and a loss in April 2011 at 8 weeks (possibly ectopic). Saw the RE in May 2011, we were moving forward with testing and an IUI when we
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2011
Fri, 06-03-2011 - 8:26am

I am so sorry for your loss. You have now found one great group of women that understand what you are going through.

Jami

Pages