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Registered: 01-08-2004
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Tue, 11-08-2011 - 1:37pm

Hi,

Avatar for jmetz09
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-28-2010
In reply to: i_decbaby
Tue, 11-08-2011 - 10:41pm
I'm sorry sweetie:( loss is nothing anyone wants to deal with :/ I tried after one cycle :D .....my levels went down pretty fast I would wait one cycle

Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-08-2011
In reply to: i_decbaby
Wed, 11-09-2011 - 7:43am
Helooo:),
I can totaly relate to your confuesion!. I am a 20 year old healthy married young woman. I dont smoke, dont drink and considder myself a good person. I am married to a wonderful man he is 26 and we are both very family orientated and have been togerther for over 4 years. I found out I was pregnant in the beginning of September 2011 and I was so excited!! There were no words to explain how I felt... My first Gynea appointment arrived and i just couldnt wait to see my first bundle of jou growing inside of me. Earlier that day I went to te bathroom and when I wiped i saw a brownis discharged..As soon as I got to her I asked her if that was normal and she said no.... then we went on to do a sonar and she couldnt find anything on the screen. She explained to me that this could be because i was very very early so she did a internal sonar just o see nothing again..immediatly my heart sank into my chest, i just knew.. when she pulled out the camera she confirmed that i have been bleeding.. My husband tried to reassure me by telling me that blood tests wont lie..I geuss we both wanted this so bad we didnt want to accept the fact that it all might be ending sooner than we think. I went to bed that night and felt terribly uncomfortable..when i checked I saw red blood running out of me... Silly me thougt tgat mabe my blood work lied lol and mabe i wasnt pregnant after all.. so i just put in a tampon and went to bed. The next morning as I went to take it out, as i wiped a little sack about a R5 coin size came out of me..my baby. I had such a fright I quickly flushed her/him away.. and felt horrible after that.
My husband was very very supportive and helps to keep me positive. My Gynea sugjested that i wait at least one cycle before trying again just to strengthen the lining of my uterus and for everything to go back to normal again.. It also allows her to give a more accurate due date on your next pregnancy. We just came back from a nice vacation and did the baby making deed alot lol:) so I seriously am hoping for a positive test one of these days!!
The thing is I just feel like everyone around me are having babies.. everyone thats not even married and here we were trying to do it the "right" way.. stupid as that might sound. We prayed every night when ttc and when I got pregnant wich was within a month of trying I prayed every single day for God to protect and put his gardian angels around us for protection and when this didnt happen I felt a little angry.. You see my husbands brothers girlfriend just annunced her pregnancy 2 days ago and I am trying to feel happy for them but it is extremely difficult!! It feels like she has taken somthing from me even though that is so redicilous!!! Has anyone felt this way?? I pray to God to help me not feel this way and to please bless me with my own baby but it just feels like its not going to happen!!!!! Lol sorry for writing an SA I just need to talk my heart out without being judged. You see at home we never talk about what happened I dont think people know how to handle it actually... Well like I sai we are back to ttc singe about the 23 of october so I can not wait for this month to fly by just so I can see if i am expecting or not.
I am so sorry for all of your losses it is the worst thing to go through, losing a little part of ourselves and it really hurts no matter how far you were along..our boddies changed because of it, and our families will always be 1 short..
I do thank God for the wonderful Husband he gave me and I try to count my blessings.. I geuss it's just that sometimes bad things happen to good people.
Sending you all much love
xoxoxo