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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-26-2011
New here
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Fri, 08-26-2011 - 4:52pm

Hi y'all I'm new here.

Deonna Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2009
In reply to: puppyluvkc
Fri, 08-26-2011 - 5:22pm

so sorry for your loss. I lost my baby at 9 weeks.went in fr my first checkup and they said there is no baby . It stopped forming at 6 weeks. It was my first misscarriage. it was devestating. I still get in periods where i want to yell and scream and do all of that. Guys have a diffrent way of grieving mine wouldn't even hold me or nothing when we lost it. We also named ours. We called it Serenity Faith. . I got reading material to help me through mine. Check your library for books on pregnancy loss or maybe your dr can help you with a few. I don't know if you are religous or not mine was written by an author of my faith who went through it 2 times and had years of inferility until she finally had one. I hope you find some peace and comfort here I know I did.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-05-2006
In reply to: puppyluvkc
Fri, 08-26-2011 - 5:56pm

I am glad you found this supportive group of women. I am so sorry for your loss. We all know the heartache you are going through.

I am 36 and have been trying for my first since 2006. We tried naturally since 2010 and we got pregnant on our very first IUI. We were over the moon and thought our TTC journey had come to an end. I so excited to not have a period for 9 months...

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-10-1999
In reply to: puppyluvkc
Sat, 08-27-2011 - 12:46am
Hi Deonna,

I am so sorry for your loss, especially after all of this time waiting and wanting. (((HUGS))) I am 36, soon to be 37 in October, and have been trying for years. I just had my 3rd m/c earlier this month.

Every person deals with the loss differently. I'm glad you both decided to take the step to name your little bean. Unfortunately, friends and family are usually at a loss as to what to say. The pregnancy wasn't as real for them, it didn't mean as much to them as it did to you. This doesn 't mean that they don't care- it just means that they don't know how to approach the topic and they are afraid of upsetting you. Of course, we feel like people are trying to deny our right to grieve. It's really not what's intended by them.

But for you and your hubby, take the time to grieve. Many women here have some kind of a memorial for their angel babies- whether it's jewelry, a sculpture or art, a meaningful photo, or something else.

There are a couple of places that women on the board have used to find something meaningful for them. You can google miscarriage jewelry or miscarriage art and find some nice sights.

One of my favorites is Midnight Orange (you can find her on facebook). Just LOOKING at her art touches me. There is also La Belle Dame jewelry's memorial jewelry, http://www.labelledame.com/miscarriage-infant-loss.html.

I hope you find something to help you get through your grief so you can get your bfp chica.

Best wishes,
Court.

 


 


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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-2006
In reply to: puppyluvkc
Sat, 08-27-2011 - 9:05am
(((HUGS))) I'm so sorry for your loss, Deonna. :( Infertility stinks (we've been TTC for about 3.5 years with a miscarriage after 2 years of trying). And miscarriage stinks. I've told others here that we shouldn't have to go through both. Infertility struggles are hard enough without having to add the excitement of FINALLY getting that BFP only to lose the baby.

I am glad that you found us. So many others in our lives just don't "get" the hurt of a loss and either they don't know what to say, or it quickly passes from their thoughts, so they don't mention or talk about your loss with you. This is a great forum for talking about your loss, discussing your ups and downs, and your fears and excitements of TTC again.

I'm so glad that you are feeling ready to get back on the TTC wagon again really soon. Be sure to keep your lines of communication open with your DH and to make sure that you are both on the same page every step of the way. (((HUGS))) We're glad to have you and I hope that you will move on to PAL very soon!
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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-28-2009
In reply to: puppyluvkc
Sat, 08-27-2011 - 11:09am
I'm so sorry for your loss. Like the other ladies have said, any miscarriage is devastating but I feel like it's ten times worse for those of us that have such a hard time conceiving. My first miscarriage wad by far my hardest emotionally. After 2.5 years we finally conceived on our second IUI with perfect betas...only to find out it was ectopic. I had serious depression for months...im glad you are starting to feel better. I don't know how I would have ever gotten through it without the support I have found on ivillage. So glad you found us.

-Jamie

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-26-2011
In reply to: puppyluvkc
Sat, 08-27-2011 - 11:31am
I'm so sorry for your loss as well. I thought the same thing when we got pregnant about our journey finally being over. It is not fair to have to start over. We got pregnant so quickly once we figured out the sperm issue & I'm so scared that it won't happen as quickly this time. I can only afford to do 2 or 3 more cycles & then I don't know what we will do. It's not like we can have an "oops" like most people do, bc my husband doesn't have any sperm anymore (he had prostate surgery last year & not like his sperm was working even b4 the surgery). My dr did tell us that now that we've gotten pregnant our odds are higher that we will conceive again, but I'm so scared that we won't or that it won't happen soon enough.

I did find a great website for pregnancy loss memorials (www.october15th.com) and I got a beautiful bracelet with wings & little baby feet &healing stones to remember baby Hope by. They have other great resources on the site too. It won't bring Hope back, but it helps a bit with the pain I'm feeling. I'm impatiently waiting for af to return now so that we can move forward with our next iui. I'm hoping it shows any day now so I can start the femara & schedule my cd12 follicle scan. I forgot to mention I had an hsg earlier this year that revealed my left tube is blocked, so we are using femara to increase egg production to make sure I O on my right side.

I hope you get your sticky bfp soon too!!!! I hope we all do!
Deonna Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-26-2011
In reply to: puppyluvkc
Sat, 08-27-2011 - 11:33am
You are sooooo right - we shouldn't have to deal with infertility AND miscarriage! It's so unfair!
Deonna Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-05-2006
In reply to: puppyluvkc
Mon, 08-29-2011 - 10:13pm

Your bracelet sounds beautiful and a great reminder of your LO,

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-26-2011
In reply to: puppyluvkc
Tue, 08-30-2011 - 10:30am

Thank you.

Deonna Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers