Newbie to site, recent miscarraige :(

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-10-2011
Newbie to site, recent miscarraige :(
10
Thu, 08-11-2011 - 3:02pm

Hello to all. I'm new to the site so just intro today. I've dealt w/ PCOS since 2006 after ttc for over a year w/ no luck on our own. Metformin for 6 months brought us our amazing son. So a few years later ttc # 2 ended in a MC @ 5 wks, which was upsetting but considering we had only discovered our pregnancy one day prior made it a little easier to deal with. Fast forward a few months and after clomid, prometrium, and metformin for 3 months brought us our next pregnancy which was going really well. Positive U/S at 8.5 weeks, heart rate was 168, nausea, indigestion, the whole nine yards. Feeling comfortable w/ the u/s we made our pregnancy public at 9 wks. We even had a nickname that my son made up out of no-where! All of our friends and family were estatic since we had been ttc for well over a year.

Last Tuesday at work, I started spotting slightly. Nothing to be too worried about b/c it was such a small amt. But since I'm a nurse at our local hospital, decided to get our doppler out and see if we could find a heartbeat. After trying for abt 20 minutes w/ out success, I still wasn't too worried b/c it's still kind of early to hear the heartbeat. Went in to the Dr. the next day and he couldn't find it w/ doppler either. U/S confirmed no heartbeat :(

I felt like my entire world ended. D&C on Thursday left me empty. Hurt. Heartbroken.

Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers Judah Shane 9/24/07; MC #1 @ 5 wks October 2010; MC # 2 @ 12.5 wks August 2011
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2009
Thu, 08-11-2011 - 3:44pm

I am sorry for your loss. We lost our baby when I was 9 weeks. it didn't develp past 6 weeks. My dr told me to wait 2 cycles before I tried. that way

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-02-2007
Thu, 08-11-2011 - 6:43pm

I'm so sorry for your losses, and glad you found our board. You will find this to be a great group of supportive and understanding women.

A doctor's recommendation on TTC again after

Kelly, mom to 4 year old Lexi, wife to Rob TTC Number 2 since April 2010, with a loss in June 2010 at 4.5 weeks, and a loss in April 2011 at 8 weeks (possibly ectopic). Saw the RE in May 2011, we were moving forward with testing and an IUI when we
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-2006
Thu, 08-11-2011 - 10:13pm
Kelly, I'm so sorry for your loss! My m/c a little over a year ago was so similar. I had seen a beautiful little flicker of a heartbeat at 6 weeks. I was horribly nauseous. We went in for our 12 week appointment (it was supposed to be the fun appointment where we hear the heartbeat for the first time via doppler). Our DD was with us and when they couldn't find the heartbeat, they sent us right in for an u/s (DD still with us) and at 12w3d, they found no heartbeat and the baby measured 10w6d. So, I know the pain, frustration, and all the questions of "what happened?" I hope they can give you some answers, but I also want to tell you that you might walk out of your post-op with no more answers than you had walking into your appointment. I was told there was no reason why it happened (although we didn't have genetic testing done).

Different doctors have different recommendations regarding when you can start TTC again. Some recommend waiting 2-3 cycles before TTC again, but there is no real reason to wait that long, unless you feel you need to take that time for emotional reasons. Often they do ask you to wait until your first AF post-m/c to help with dating and to make sure that your lining is back to where it should be.

Time will ease the heartbreak. That's all I can tell you. Give yourself time to grieve. You need to take time to cry or do whatever will help you to let your emotions out in a safe way. With my first m/c (before my DD was conceived), I cried, screamed, punched pillows, and pretty much threw a grown-up temper tantrum because it just was NOT fair. With my m/c last summer, I couldn't do that with my DD around. So, I took times to go to my room and cry, I cried in the shower, and just kept myself super busy. I think it was probably a good 2-3 months before I felt the sting a little less (where I wouldn't break down in tears if I had too much down-time). I posted mostly on the Miscarriage Support board here on iVillage and then once I had gotten past the first few months, I came over here to join in because I felt a little better about TTC again (we weren't going to TTC again after our m/c, but we changed our minds).

As for conceiving after repeat m/c's, there are many here (or over at PAL) who have conceived after repeat m/c's. Me, personally, we struggle with unexplained infertility, so it took us 2 years to get pg with the baby we lost last year and it's been a little over a year and we haven't gotten pg yet. I look forward to the day that we do get another BFP, though!

I hope that you'll join us more when you are healed and feel comfortable with TTC again. And I hope you have a short stay here. (((HUGS)))
Photobucket Visit my Blog with
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-12-2009
Fri, 08-12-2011 - 1:15am

I'm sorry for your loss :( I have a two year old daughter and like you said, at least we have one child when there's so many out there who don't have that but I don't think it makes it any easier.

Avatar for jmetz09
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-28-2010
Fri, 08-12-2011 - 12:17pm
I Am so sorry for your recent loss:( I know the feeling all to well as I to have had three mc's within ten months and my last one ending as a late miscarriage :( I totally understand .. Miss Kloie grew her wings at 19 weeks 4 days:( .. You have came to a excellent group of women here.. They hAve helped me so much over the past year:) . I am so sorry that you are having a hard time, it's so hard to decide when to try again and only you will know that answer:) hang in there sweetie and we will all be here to help you on your journey:)

Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-10-2011
Sun, 08-14-2011 - 3:13pm

Thank you so much

Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers Judah Shane 9/24/07; MC #1 @ 5 wks October 2010; MC # 2 @ 12.5 wks August 2011
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-10-1999
Mon, 08-15-2011 - 3:30pm
Hi Kelly- I am so sorry for your loss. Many doctors recommend waiting until after your first af to try again, but it is totally up to you.

From what I have been reading we are at our most fertile within 6 months of a miscarriage, so good luck chica! I hope you get your sticky bean soon!

 


 


Photobucket<

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-05-2006
Sun, 08-21-2011 - 1:42am

I am sorry that you are going through this. Life isn't fair which really stinks sometimes. I think you will find comfort on this site because there are tons of really awesome women here. I am still waiting for my #1 baby and hopefully things will pan out with IVF.

Hugs..........

Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-07-2007
Sun, 08-21-2011 - 3:17am
Kelly, I am so sorry for your losses. I know you'll find lots of support and experience from the ladies on this board. Some have had repeat m/c's. I have had only one, but we have serious IF issues and even so, our RE and my GYN are still optimistic. So I can imagine that you still have hope. GL!
Chouli, 34; DH 45 Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
Avatar for Cmmelissa
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2008
Fri, 08-26-2011 - 3:17am