please read! i need advice asap

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2010
please read! i need advice asap
10
Sun, 10-02-2011 - 8:12am

I was on this forum few months ago as I miscarried and was trying to get pregnant again. I got pregnant and I went to gyno today. She said I was 9 weeks 3 days but when she did vaginal u/s, she said there was no heartbeat. She said fetus was measuring at 21mm making her believe that it died very recently, like a day or two before. She said I should go to hospital to do intervention rather than waiting for it to be passed naturally. We went to hospital right after, they did another U/S and I guess also found no hearbeat and schedule me to come in tomorrow. Is that too soon to do it?Is there hope that the heartbeat could not be heard but it is there? My gyno said she was certain because she used picture and sound U/S but everything happen so fast that I keep on thinking she should have spend more time trying to find it. I am so scared to go to hospital tomorrow because I read so many stories where the heartbeat was not found until 10 or 11 weeks. It's probably just mine wishful thinking because two doctors and two different U/S showed no heartbeat. Would you wait or trust the doctors?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-07-2007
Sun, 10-02-2011 - 8:20am
I am so sorry sweetie. I remember that feeling of "you've got to be wrong!" But you're right, they both saw the same thing. And I'm sure that when you go in tomorrow, they'll check again before they do anything.
The reason I wouldn't wait is because they will check again, and (from my missed m/c experience) the longer you wait you are opening yourself up to uterine infection.
Please take time mentally to grieve, but I would follow the doctor's advice.
Chouli, 34; DH 45 Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2010
Sun, 10-02-2011 - 8:31am

I know you are right, I am just really wanted to have a baby. My husband too is in shock, he's been crying all morning. I just hope everything goes well tomorrow and it does not hurt too much.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-07-2007
Sun, 10-02-2011 - 9:00am
There will be lots of grieving for you both. It took DH weeks and me months to start to emerge from it. Your journey for a baby isn't over.

I can tell you that tomorrow won't hurt. I had a D&C last August. They'll give you an IV, make you sleep and when you wake up, you may experience some spotting (I didn't) or some cramping like AF (I didn't).
Chouli, 34; DH 45 Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-02-2007
Sun, 10-02-2011 - 11:51am
I'm so sorry, but I agree with Chouli - if 2 doctors can't find a HB and your are 9+ weeks, then it sounds like a m/c to me, and a D&C is the fastest way to move forward. You could choose to wait to m/c naturally (it's your choice), but that could take a while and be painful. Personally, I would opt for the D&C.

Are you sure of how far along you are? If you are off be a few weeks, there is the possibility that it's too early to see the HB, but you would have to be more like 6-7 weeks for that to be the case.

Again, sorry, for your loss.
Kelly, mom to 4 year old Lexi, wife to Rob TTC Number 2 since April 2010, with a loss in June 2010 at 4.5 weeks, and a loss in April 2011 at 8 weeks (possibly ectopic). Saw the RE in May 2011, we were moving forward with testing and an IUI when we
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2010
Sun, 10-02-2011 - 2:20pm

The fetus measured at 9 weeks so doctor told me it probably died couple of days ago. It is just so hard and I am so worried about tomorrow because I am in Italy and I have never been in a hospital here.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-2006
Sun, 10-02-2011 - 2:40pm
Sweetie, I'm so sorry for your loss. I think all of us who have had a baby that was to the gestation where a heartbeat should be visible, we've wondered if they got it wrong. Even when I had my most recent loss, they had me go in for an u/s. I had seen the heartbeat at 6 weeks and then nothing - no movement or anything at 12w3d, I could SEE the screen with no heartbeat and I still was scared that they had made a mistake.

My husband cried with both of our miscarriages. He managed to hold himself together a little better the second time around, but he openly wept both times and after our first m/c, he wept for hours. That is your baby. You had hopes, dreams, and plans for your life with that baby. It's normal to cry. It's normal to question. It's normal to be concerned. Take care of yourself. I have had both - a natural m/c and a D&C. I'm not sure which I would rather go through. The natural, I was in the comfort of my own home and my DH and my mom were there to help me through it. The second m/c, was a D&C and I didn't have to wait around for things to happen. But, I was in an unfamiliar environment and I had a really stupid doctor who was incredibly insensitive. Plus, my former doctor who performed the D&C botched things and left a whole bunch of tissue inside of me. Just lots that went wrong. But, perhaps going into things, maybe ask them to perform your D&C with an ultrasound, to make sure they don't miss any tissue. I SHOULD have asked for that, but I didn't because I didn't know any better.

But, in any event, I would trust the doctors. If two doctors both saw no heartbeat, then I would go with that, but perhaps do like the other ladies mentioned - ask for an ultrasound just before your D&C (in addition to asking them to perform an ultrasound during the D&C), just to put your mind at ease that your baby doesn't have a heartbeat. (((HUGS))) We're here for support as you grieve. Please post when you feel up to it and if you need support.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-02-2007
Sun, 10-02-2011 - 5:20pm
I'm so sorry, it does sound like you lost the baby then. :-( I agree with the other ladies - ask for another u/s before they do the D&C just to be sure. I know how you feel - I lost a twin in this pregnancy at 7 weeks, and I kept thinking that the next time we went to the doctor, the HB would just be there......It's hard to accept.

GL with the D&C. I know it's scary to be somewhere unfamiliar, but they have good doctors in Italy too!
Kelly, mom to 4 year old Lexi, wife to Rob TTC Number 2 since April 2010, with a loss in June 2010 at 4.5 weeks, and a loss in April 2011 at 8 weeks (possibly ectopic). Saw the RE in May 2011, we were moving forward with testing and an IUI when we
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-05-2006
Mon, 10-03-2011 - 6:13pm

I am so very sorry that this is happening to you again. I know the feeling when you don't want to believe what you are hearing. I had a possible ectopic where nothing was seen on ultrasound and betas rising up to 2200 before it went down. I kept on saying "Are you sure?" "maybe we need to wait awhile".....

My heart is heavy for you. Hugs........

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2010
Tue, 10-04-2011 - 5:41am

Just sending you a little update. I was in a hospital yesterday all day and I am physically feeling ok. Like I mentioned before I was worried about going to a hospital here in Italy because of my lack of Italian and because I heard many horror stories about hospitals here. But I must say that I received better treatment than a hospital in Vancouver.Thank you for your support!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-2006
Tue, 10-04-2011 - 3:33pm
(((HUGS))) I'm glad that you were treated well. I hope that you can take the time to heal up both physically and emotionally. It's so important to take that time to grieve as long as you need to.
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