Questions about recent miscarriage, d &c

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Registered: 04-02-2003
Questions about recent miscarriage, d &c
9
Fri, 04-04-2003 - 12:23pm
Hi, I am new to message boards so not sure how they work? My daughter, 21, just experienced a miscarriage. She was 5 1/2 weeks. She is scheduled for a d & c on Monday but I don't know if she will last that long? I have never had a miscarriage so don't know much about them, can only give her my love and support. That's why I am trying to do some research on the net. I talked to my boss who's wife had a miscarriage in December, she had a D & C done and has not had a period since? Her doctor said that it is not uncommon. Can you still try and conceive without a period? (sorry don't know all the lingo yet)How exactly does it work and will she be in a great amount of pain afterwards? She has a two 1/2 yr old so I will be looking after my grandbaby as long as necessary when I'm not at work, otherwise my mom takes care of her. Also, how long should she wait to try again? They really wanted this baby and are anxious to try again. I told her I though maybe she should wait at least a couple of months? Any info would be greatly appreciated!
Avatar for paulawp
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Fri, 04-04-2003 - 1:11pm
I am so sorry for your family's loss. You are doing the right thing in just being there for her with hugs. I had a D&C in November. The three days that I had to wait for it felt like 10 years. I finally called my Dr and said that we had to do it NOW. He did - the next morning. It is a fairly simple procedure. When she arrives, they will ask her to put on a gown and will prepare the IV. They will give her a shot through the IV of a solution that dries her mouth for surgery. Then she will be rolled into the OR and the anestisiologist and her Dr will be there. The actual surgery only takes about 10-20 minutes. What they do is dilate the cervix and then scrape the uterus of its contents. She will be in post-op recovery until she wakes up. They will check her pad for amount of blood and then will roll her back to her room. I had to wait another 45 minutes before being released. They will want her to urinate before leaving and will make sure that she is not bleeding a lot.

I was tired after the surgery due to the anestisia but physically I felt fine. I had some cramps and some bleeding for the next day or so. She will want to rest that day but she should be a-ok physically the next day. The hard part is the emotional recovery which can take awhile. The first month was AWFUL for me with constant tears and "why?". Hint: don't tell her that it was God's way, or that she'll have another ... all that she needs to hear is how sorry you are for her loss and that she is in your prayers and thoughts. Make sure she has some pretty flowers to look at too!

Her period may take 4-8 weeks to come back. It typically takes most women a couple of cycles to get back to "normal". However, it is possible to ovulate the first cycle. Most Dr's recommend waiting to TTC until 2 cycles so that the uterine lining can build itself back up and create a good environment for implanation.

Tell me about this board and the PREGNANCY LOSS board. They are life-savers!! ((HUGS))

Avatar for paulawp
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Fri, 04-04-2003 - 1:37pm
At the end of my message, I meant to say "tell HER not me" about the boards. Sorry if it was confusing.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2003
Fri, 04-04-2003 - 1:46pm
Thank you for the information. She is in a lot of pain and bleeding kind of heavy so I don't think we will wait until monday. I am soooo sorry about your loss as well. My mom had 8 miscarriages and 1 stillbirth, but 3 healthy, well-adjusted (I think,lol) kids. Like I said I've never been through it but I feel her pain as if it were my own. I also agree about "it's God's way" and all that. I just tell her I'm sooo sorry and help her out as much as I can. I will be taking my granddaughter tonight, and every night I need to until she feels better. She's a handful tho, lol. 2 1/2 is a rough age!!! I really do appreciate the info on the D & C too. She is scared about being put to sleep, she has never had surgery before. I have, however, had many, so I do know about that part. Hopefully this will all be over soon. God Bless you and anyone else out there who have went through this same ordeal. Thank you.:)
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2003
Fri, 04-04-2003 - 2:24pm
Sorry about your family's loss.

I m/c at 10wks and had a d+c on 3/27. The procedure is relatively quick. I was admitted to the hospital at 6:30 a.m. and walking out about 1pm. They will give your DD anesthesia so it is critical that she not eat or drink anything after 12 midnight the night before.

The emotional healing is the worst. During my 1st wk I didn't want to get out of the bed or talk to anyone. But I had great support and love from my DH, loving mom and great friends. Please don't tell her that she is young and can try again. Remember she is mourning the loss of her child. It can't replace that pregnancy. Just allow her to feel what she is feeling. Believe me she will experience hurt, anger, sadness and to some extent envy of other pg women. Please just be gentle and patient w/ her. Also be mindful that her hormones will be out of whack for a while.

I just had my d+c about 2 wks ago so I don't know when my AF will return. Although I did speak to my primary dr who advised me that it should show up in a few wks. Additionally, I have a follow-up visit w/ my OB/GYN next wk. I think at that time she will do some blood work. I think that is to measure my hcg to see if they return to a pre-prenancy level (whatever that means).

Again prayers to you and your family. Keep us posted.

HUGS,

Karla

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2003
Fri, 04-04-2003 - 3:38pm
thank you for your input. We need all the advice we can get! I know she will be going through a rough time, I am going to try and make it as easy on her as possible. I know she will go through alot of emotions, it makes my heart sad :( though, that I can't take away the pain. It's those things in life that you can't protect your children from that hurt the most. I am grateful to be able to be there for her, as my mom would be,and is, for me. I sincerely wish you all the luck, my prayers and thoughts are with you and your family.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-04-2003
Fri, 04-04-2003 - 11:38pm
I m/c on march 15th. Since I was bleeding out, I had a D&C right away and didn't have to wait. I went through a lot of questionning about m/c and D&C. I found a website that answered most of my questions : www.pregnancyloss.info/ .

I hope it will be usefull to you and your daughter. ((((HUGS)))) to both of you.

Mélanie

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sat, 04-05-2003 - 10:17am
If she is scared about being put to sleep she can request a spinal (like an epidural but no feeling). They keep you a little longer post op but not much. Thats what I had done back in Nov.

Our Angels
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Avatar for jewles73
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Sun, 04-06-2003 - 11:48am
I am very sorry for your daughter... She's lucky to have someone like you :)

I was 10 weeks when my m/c started on 2/24...then a d&c on 2/28. I have to admit that the d&c had me pretty worried because technically it is "surgery"... But that turned out to be the easy part. The hard part was the emotional healing that takes sooo long. It takes a while for all of the pregnancy hormones to get out of the system...so after the d&c I knew that I wasn't pregnant anyore... but I still Felt pregnant. The tears seemed endless and I just wanted to be alone to cry without anyone telling me not to. After about a week of that, my husband noticed that I was isolating myself and would say stuff like..."come on, we're going out to lunch" or "come with me to the movie store"...If it wasn't for him I would probably still be curled up in my bed feeling sorry for myself...being sad is normal... but sometimes a little "push" is what we need to start moving again.

My Dr. knows that I'm anxious to try again so he told me to wait just 1 cycle... It took 6 weeks before the 1st cycle started...I normally have long cycles so I kind of expected it to take a while.

I'm glad you found this board :) Your family is in my thoughts...

Love, Julie

Lilypie Baby Days

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2003
Tue, 04-08-2003 - 9:46am
I want to thank all of you who offered kind words and advice. My daughter had her D & C on Monday the 7th of April. She is in some pain, light bleeding, but doing much better. She feels as if she can move on now. The weekend was very rough for us both, knowing that the baby was gone, but still having to carry it until Monday. I have stayed by her side through it all, and will continue to love and encourage her in any way I can. I am soooo sorry for all of you who have experienced this type of tragedy. My thoughts and prayers are with each one of you.

Thank you

Kathy :)