Scared about trying again when not over previous losses
Hi all,
This is my first post on anything like this so not really sure where to start but pretty sure it will help to talk to people who have been through/are going through the same thing - I don't know the abbreviations either so bear with me.
I have had 2 MC, one in Dec 09 and one June 10, the second one hit harder and I just threw myself into work to try and get passed it, but since then it's like something is missing in me, I've always been a very strong, independent and strong person who can just get on with things when things go wrong - I know thats not always the way to cope but it's worked for me for anything else.
Since the second mc I have avoided all talk - or thought -of babies, pregnancy or anything related to that. If I came into direct contact with anything related I would get sad and teary, sometimes hysterically - one of my best friends recently told me she was pregnant and I can't even speak to her now - and this is 7 months on - I don't want it to be like that. I'm generally much more sensitive then I used to be and get upset about things that would never have affected me before.
We had tests and apparently there is nothing wrong and we've just been unlucky (which I know should put us in a good position and we are luckier than others in our situation) but now we are ttc again and I feel that if everything works out ok this time then I will be ok, but if it doesn't .. I don't know how I will react to it when I don't really feel that I have dealt properly with whats happened before.
My mum and husband feel that I should talk to someone - especially as we are ttc again - but I don't know who to talk to, is anyone going through/has gone through the same thing?
First off, welcome and so sorry you are finding yourself in this forum.
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(((HUGS))) I'm so very sorry about your losses.
Melissa
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Hi, welcome to the board.
First off, I want to say I'm so very sorry for your losses. It's impossible for anyone who's not had a loss to understand how it makes you feel, so I'm glad you found our board. It really makes a big difference when you have women who've experienced losses to "talk to" about everything. Before I came here I felt very alone, and I was "lucky" in that I have a friend IRL who has not only experienced several losses herself, but is willing to talk about it. So, welcome to the board.
We all know the fear that comes with TTCaM. The feeling that if it happens again, we'll just lose it. That we don't know if we're strong enough to try again and face another loss. That somehow there's something missing in our lives, and that it's our angel(s).
That's why we're here. This group of women will laugh with you, cry with you, and celebrate with you. We are here to give you advice, or just a shoulder to cry on. Something about having a group of women to talk to- women who know where you're coming from- is...freeing. Even if you don't post often, it makes things just a little bit easier.
There are women on here who are more knowledgable about fertility, testing, treatments, etc. than many OB's! If I were you I'd use them as a terrrific resource (and I do :smileyhappy:).
There are women on here who've experienced many losses, and keep on going. I don't really know how, but they do. They are inspirational.
Whatever you're looking for, chances are there's someone on here who knows how to get it. Please come back and visit us frequently.