Should I Be Worried About Infection? Missed M/C Still Nothing Happening...

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-26-2010
Should I Be Worried About Infection? Missed M/C Still Nothing Happening...
13
Mon, 10-11-2010 - 3:30pm

Ok I know I should call my dr's office. I try to avoid that place as much as possible though as I've not had great experiences with them before. But I am wondering if I should call them because its been 2 weeks since finding out about missed m/c and 3 wks since baby stop developing and nothing's happening. I was reading about possible infection and now I'm getting worried. Do you think I'll be ok until my appt in two weeks? Or should I cave in and call my dr? I've read that infection may be possible if you wait too long for your body to do it naturally. Some say 2 weeks some say a month. I'm confused. Anyone else with experience? Anyone take longer than 2-3 wks for m/c to happen?

 


Karen



 


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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-26-2010

Lydia,

Yes mom's seem to have the right intentions but they don't always execute them well. I know that my own mom has been telling me "reasons" she thinks the miscarriage happened-and I really wish she didn't go there. There is no good reason I can think of for my baby to not be alive anymore. It's hard to think that I wanted this baby so badly and now God wants to take him/her back and I could give no reason why I would do so willingly! I wish your mom could have been more supportive of you, and my mom for me, but it doesn't always work out that way does it?

I know the decision of TTC has been difficult. I didn't even want to think about it when I found out. Kept telling everyone who asked that I didn't think I could risk going through this again. Then they'd go on the whole schpeel about how I am lucky it was earlier on rather than later, how so many other women they know went on to have healthy babies after their miscarriage, how I was just being silly. The feeling of wanting to TTC started recently and I wasn't even sure if I really wanted to or not. But lately the feeling has become stronger. But of course I still have that little voice inside of my head saying "What if it happens again?" "How could I handle it if I had another m/c?" "Is it fair to TTC if there is a chance that the baby will not survive?" So many doubts but while I am scared I am also excited at the thought of trying again. I don't know. I haven't even mentioned it to my dh who was really bummed before when I said that I didn't think I wanted to try again. So I have a feeling he will be on board-he's always been supportive of me no matter my decision and I feel so lucky to have him in my life. He's been a great crutch for me through this all. I don't know if TTC again is the right decision-I think it may be a good thing that this is taking some time so I can think clearly and thoroughly about it before even attempting to.

Gosh I could probably write a book with all of my posts, lol.

Karen

 


Karen



 


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2010

Karen,

Yes, the emotional part was the most difficult part for me. The one person IRL who I thought would totally get how I was feeling, my mom, I think let me down. It almost felt like she wanted a status update so she could get sympathy from her friends. Ugh. I was so glad to find this board. I knew that I was not alone and I now know there ARE women out there who know exactly how I felt/feel. Please feel free to let it out here.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-26-2010

No Lydia I don't feel like you are trying to be like my family. My mom is definitely the worst culprit of all. Any time I call her or she calls me it always starts with "How are you feeling? I guess nothing's happened yet?" My mom knows full well that I will tell her when it happens-besides my dh she would be first to know. I think it also has to do with the fact that she thinks I should of opted for a D&C. I know they all mean well but I am getting tired of being asked how I am feeling by all of my friends IRL. So I've started saying that things are going back to normal for me-its not affecting me as much anymore to get them to stop. I know they mean well and I am blessed to have friends and family who care-but its like I just want to be left alone.

I know what you mean about wanting it to just happen. Of course nobody wants it to happen and it will be sad when the baby has passed. But at the same time its like saying "There it's done now it's time to start healing." I was kind of excited last night when I saw the faint pink on the t.p. Scared and excited-just want it to be done. Surprisingly I think I may ttc again after this-I didn't think I could do it-was too scared of this happening again. But lately I have this overwhelming urge to TTC but I can't even think about it until this part is over. I will forever miss my angel but I can't keep wanting to hold on to her/him. Before I just felt like the longer it took the better because I did not want to give my baby up even if they were no longer living. If she/he were still in my stomach then it all isn't real and I am still able to protect her and I can keep her/him to myself. I can still nurture him/her and will still have this strong bond that a mother feels towards their unborn child. But I realize now this isn't healthy. As sad as I am to let her/him go I know it will be best for my angel and myself. Ugh so many emotions. Its funny how I thought that the actual misscarriage physical pains were the scariest part. Of course now I realize its the emotional part that is the most difficult of all.

Sorry for rambling on. Sometimes I get started and just can't stop myself.

Karen

 


Karen



 


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2010

Karen,

OMG, I had those family phone calls too. The worst ones were from my mother. I would tell her, "I'll tell you when" but she kept asking. Thing was, you'd think she would have been a bit more understanding since she had 4 m/c herself. Everyone else backed off when I said I'd let them know. It's tough, they care about you, but it just makes you soooo mad and sad!! Ok, well, that's how I felt.

Oh my, I just realized that my recent messages may have seemed like I was checking in on you like your family has been. I hope you don't feel that way but if you did please know that I'm sorry. I want to offer support and comfort.

I'm so glad the board has helped you. I feel like it has really helped me.

Oh no, a false alarm. I'm so sorry to hear that. Perhaps that means the waiting is almost over. I felt that it was so strange to want the waiting to be over, to have an answer...it was good and bad. In a way, when it was happening, I felt relief in giving up the denial.

Glad to hear you are still hanging in there. Sometimes that's all we can do. Please don't forget that you are strong and brave.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-26-2010

Hi Lydia,

Thanks for the hugs and warm thoughts. :smileyhappy: Still hanging in there, waiting, hate answering phone calls from family wondering if "it's happened yet?". Had a false alarm last night. Lots of lower back cramps, some stomach cramps, and very light spotting but nothing today. It's not helping with the denial I am feeling (nothing's happening-maybe everything's alright type of thinking). But I appreciate all of the words of support you and others have given to me-it has definitely helped. I hope all is well with you and your family and thanks for answering all of my questions. :smileyhappy:

Karen

 


Karen



 


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2010

Karen,

I've been thinking of you. Sending hugs and comforting thoughts your way.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-11-2006

I discovered at 11 weeks that baby had stopped growing at 7 weeks. I had to come back a week later for a second scan before they would do anything, just in case there was a mistake with the dates - but I knew there wasn't. Then I was given 3 options - wait for m/c to happen naturally, take medication or have a d&c. I preferred natural but took the medication home with me just in case. I've always preferred the natural route to medical intervention whenever possible, if it's an option. The m/c then happened the following day without me taking anything BUT it was incomplete, which led to another 8 weeks of hospital appointments and scans (and antibiotics in case of infection) before finally getting a d&c - all very head and heart-wrecking because it prolonged the whole process. (Esp remember while I was being wheeled into theater, hearing one of the nurses say, "but her levels are only 58!" As in, why is she here? !!?!)

Knowing what I do now from experience, I think I would have opted for a d&c immediately. It wasn't that bad - day procedure, you're 'out' when it's happening & blissfully unaware, and it's fast. Right away I felt PHYSICALLY and emotionally different - I knew the pregnancy was over, remaining pregnancy symptoms quickly dropped away and I began to recover emotionally from 3 months of torment.

I thought after the m/c happened that it was over and it wouldn't affect me that much - boy was I wrong. I think the prolonged waiting & repeated appointments until the d&c didn't help much - but I know things are different for everyone.

My advice would definitely be - go and see the doc. You'll at least know what's going on and what choices you have.

Feeling for you!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-17-2008
Yes, you could do that... maybe by going in and having a look you might feel like you're being proactive/doing something instead of waiting and having to be passive. I did that. The nurse was able to tell me the lining was beginning to thin out.

Also if your heart is tender it might upset you to have another look. The nurse gave us way TMI about what was happening to our baby on our "checking to see what's going on" ultrasound.

Don't worry about questions, you're most welcome to ask. <3
B, loving wife to L. Proud Mum to William Luke (22 months) and expecting Samuel James in November. >

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2010

Hi, Karen.

I was thinking of you today. You don't need to apologize for the questions. We're here for each other; you can lean on other's experiences.

I also began to wonder after a few weeks if the m/c was going to happen on its own. It took about a month but it did happen and there was no infection. I remember my OB saying, "It could happen today. It could happen three weeks from now. There's no way of telling when exactly" and she gave me a month for it to happen on its own before persuing other avenues. I guess my body was just as stubborn as my spirit.

It never hurts to get your doctor's opinion, especially if you are having signs of infection like pp said. ((HUGS))

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-26-2010

 


Karen



 


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