So I have a dilemma and need some advice. I'm Erika.
Erika, I know that you'd love to have another child, and I know that you have been struggling with this desire for another baby for quie awhile. Im sorry that your DH isnt really on board with having another baby.I know that you would have the support of your parents if you had a baby while he was deployed, but I also knw\ow that being apart during that time, for such a major change in yoru lives, will not be easy for anyone in your family.
I cant tell you what to do, Ive never been in this situation. My DH has always given me the final say about when we should TTC. But I do know that if it were my husband, I know that he would be like the other poster said - detached from the pregnancy, ambivalent about the birth. I know that's just kind of how he is. He cant relate AT ALL to TTC stuff,charting, periods and cycles, pregnancy, childbirth, or any of that. But once the baby was here, he would get it excited, love it, embrace it fully and love that child more and more as s/he grows. If you are pretty sure that it would go that way with your DH too, I would talk it over with him one more time, then start to try.
Whatever decision you come to, I am confident that you will make the right one.
Thanks Nicole and Tee.
Hi Erika and welcome back to TTCAM!!! (although, of course none of us really want to be here)
ERIKA!!! I've missed you so much girl! It's so good to see you considering TTC. I don't have any advice as to whether or not you should try again. I know your DH is pretty ambivalent about the whole pg thing and how addictive TTC can be. I remember how the last m/c devestated you to the point of walking away from iV and such. it was so heartbreaking to watch what you were going through. Now I only lurk around here, mostly to be a cheerleader to my TTCAM sistahs.
Anyways... I'll always be a cheerleader for you and the rest of the girls on the board. I know you'll do whats best for you, your DH, and Bekah.
Lots of love and hugs.
Erika, if it were me I would TTC anyway. Especially if you think that your DH would embrace the child once it was born. My DH was the same way about my losses and I think a lot of us can say that. If he was sad at all, he was sad because I was sad. He hates to see me that way but he doesn't think about the baby we lost at all. He would have to at LEAST see a heartbeat to even consider it a baby at all. Until then, he really just thinks of it as a chemical mishap.
Erika, your DH sounds a lot like mine. And I know a lot of dads who love their kids once they are born and actually can see/hold/touch them, instead of it just being an abstract "thing" inside of his wife's tummy. So I think that Rob would be the same way too, once the baby was here. ALso, I have struggled with PPD after childbirth and I know how hard that can be on a marriage and a family, but you have to keep in mind that every pregnancy is different, and you guys are in a more stable place than you were back then, when Bekah was tiny.
I think I would go for it if I were you. Not trying to tell you what to do or anything :)
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Hi Torie -
I do remember you.