Want to try again.....

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-28-2010
Want to try again.....
2
Wed, 09-22-2010 - 7:53pm
Its been almost a month since my miscarriage.....I am still very sad
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-04-2010
Wed, 09-22-2010 - 8:40pm
After my first m/c I wasn't interested in DTD. The first time we did it after the m/c, I actually cried. I felt so bad for DH. I'm currently recovering from another m/c (D&C last Thursday), so I can't DTD for another week & a half, but when we were waiting to miscarry (it was a long process for us), again, I had no interest in DTD, so it's been a very long time since we've done it. I must say that I'm lucky that DH understands how I'm feeling. I think it's because I really try to tell him what's going on in my head. I'll say something like, "I understand that it's been a while since we've DTD, but I really can't right now because..." I understand that you want to have another baby ASAP, but I think if you try to force yourself into DTD before you're emotionally ready, it won't be a nice experience for you or your DH. Give yourself time to heal emotionally...you'll want to do it again, probably sooner than you'd think.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-08-2009
Wed, 09-22-2010 - 10:16pm

Krystle, dont feel bad about this. You cant help what you are feeling, and I think your reaction is just a part of your grief. I hope that your DH understands, and can be supportive and respectful of the way that you feel. Sure, he might be a little frustrated, but he is probably hurting too - even if he doesnt really show it.

After each of my losses I have needed plenty of time and space to sort things out before I was ready for sex again, let alone ready and willing to risk TTCing and getting pregnant again. Although doctors say that it is safe to try after just one cycle, it usually takes me a good two months or more to be emotionally and physically ready to TTC again. It can be hard to get intimate after a miscarriage, because it is just another reminder of what you have created together, but lost. I dont think this is something that is talked about very often, but I would guess that it is not uncommon.

If you have any more questions about if your feelings are normal, or how to deal with your grief and loss, please post again.



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