Anxious about the RE

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-28-2009
Anxious about the RE
23
Wed, 12-29-2010 - 12:59pm

So I was thinking about the RE and how initally my main focus was going to be to talk about my lining and see what can be done about that should it happen again and something occurred to me...

After my 2nd loss, my nurse called and told me the dr wanted me to come to talk about the losses and where to go from there. I never did. My nurse was a flaming bitch and although my dr is a genius he has zero bedside manner so I switched RE's and when I got to the 2nd RE, she didn't seem interested in digging down into the losses at all. She thought that if it indeed was a lining problem the injectables would solve that problem - and they did. I had a 10+ mm lining every cycle I was with her.

Anyway, I have gone back to my old RE because even though he's not super warm and fuzzy he knows what the heck he is doing and at the end of the day, I don't need a friend - I need a BABY!

So I was reading on his website just now that normally the medial community doesn't delve into losses until you've had three but that he doesn't believe in that. One could be a fluke, two is worth looking into. I never ever talked to a dr about my losses. I always just assumed it was my lining and maybe it was - but maybe it wasn't!

I think a sit down, personal, consult with my RE about my losses and where to go from here was probably due a long time ago KWIM?

I have to admit that I am a bit scared that he is going to want to do all kinds of testing and sideline me for a while until they're done but I will go with that. I will do what I have to do.

My appt is next Thursday and I feel like that is forever away. I'm just hoping he can give me some answers :(

I went from NTNP to back to the RE. I must drive you guys crazy.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-07-2007
Wed, 12-29-2010 - 1:20pm
I KWYM about the fear of the unknown. If it wasn't your lining that was the problem, what else could it be? We chose to have the D&C rather than natural m/c so we could get the genetic testing. When we found out he had trisomy 13, my DH was so worried about going through this again, he insisted on getting karyotypes on both of us in spite of the expense. Now that we know it wasn't my ability to carry a LO, and it wasn't a bad combination between the two of us...we both feel more confident about getting pg again (aside from the difficulty getting there).
You may think you don't want to know, but you do. Imagine how awful it would be going through the time and cost of IVF and then lose the next LO(s) b/c of maybe a clotting factor or something else. You had already sidelined yourself with RE treatments (unless I missed that you changed your mind on that) until you could afford IVF, you'll get results and conclusions well before that. Go put your mind at ease.
Chouli, 34; DH 45 Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-28-2009
Wed, 12-29-2010 - 2:18pm

Well, I have and haven't changed my mind about waiting on IVF for further treatment.

Technically speaking, both my Femara hybrid IUI's got me pregnant. Every time we tried it, it worked - I just lost those babies because of what I always believed to be a lining problem. I am going to go talk to my RE next week, talk to him about my losses and get his opinion on where to go from here.

If he thinks we can take steps to try to avoid another loss and that another couple Femara hybrid cycles are worth trying since they have been the only think that has ever worked for me, I will try it. If he thinks my best bet is to save my money, not waste it on IUI's and wait for IVF, I will do that too. I guess what I am saying is, I am going to do what the dr tells me to do.

Let me ask you a question. In all my years of IF testing, we have never done a post coital test. I am tempted to ask the RE what he thinks about doing one because

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2007
Wed, 12-29-2010 - 2:54pm
I think an hpt box is a little dull. Def try whittling down a used hpt into a shank. Im sorry, Im like chandler. awkward jokes are my specialty.

I think getting some answers from the RE on your losses will help, and I think going with "whatever he says" is a good plan. Like you said, you dont want a nice doctor, you want a baby. Ask about the post coital, and if he thinks it will help, then go for it. Could you deal with not knowing the results?? It cant help you to know either way since the DR is making the decisions, so maybe he could keep it to himself. KWIM?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-21-2007
Wed, 12-29-2010 - 3:00pm

FWIW, I think your approach with your old/new RE is a good one.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-28-2009
Wed, 12-29-2010 - 3:14pm
Awkward jokes are also my specialty - could I *BE* any more funny? :)

Anyway, the post coital results won't help the dr decide between going for another couple IUI's or waiting for IVF at all. The results of the test will just tell us if the sperm are surviving in the CM long enough to make it to the promised land. If it comes back badly then that is telling me that all the BD in the world probably will not ever result in a baby which would make me want to crawl in a hole a die. The only way around that is through IUI or IVF which both eliminate the need for CM all together.

So if I choose to do the test, I would be basically be risking finding out that we have next to no chance. Or I could not do the test and choose not to know one way or the other.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-28-2009
Wed, 12-29-2010 - 3:24pm

Aryn, you are absolutely right. PC is irrelevent for IUI patients BUT I am

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-07-2007
Wed, 12-29-2010 - 3:47pm
Would using preseed help your cm problem? If so I'd invest in tubes of the stuff rather than the cost of the PC test. Especially if you are going to rely on IUI or IVF to get your next bfp. The coitus you're going to be doing is only as a backup (IUI).
Spend your money on finding out why you lost your LOs, and getting your next one to stick. A PC test will only give you a clue why natural isn't working. Who cares why that isn't working? It isn't. Spend your money where it will work.
Chouli, 34; DH 45 Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-09-2010
Wed, 12-29-2010 - 3:49pm
Chelle, your new idea sounds wonderful. I think even if he does give you lots of tests and sidelines you, you will have comfort in knowing what the reason was maybe. And it will prevent it in the future and then maybe all it will take is 1 IUI like your other 2 that worked for your baby to be here. That saves on wasting money on IVF if thats not what you need right? I think it will all be worth it and I cant wait to hear what he says! :)
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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-08-2009
Wed, 12-29-2010 - 3:50pm

I know easier said than done, but there is nothing you can do until you see the RE next week - I wish there was some magic pill I could give you to take away your anxiety and give you some zen like calm... Please quit beating yourself up over this and self diagnosing - I really hate to see you do this to yourself...

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-28-2009
Wed, 12-29-2010 - 4:16pm
LOL @ something shiney :)

Question: What do I do if the PC comes back bad? Do I just stop trying? I dunno if I know how to do that...

Yes, this is the same guy who said he is confident IVF would work for me however, I was 26 when he said that and I will be 32 or 33 when I can afford IVF so we may be dealing with a whole 'nother animal by the time that time comes around.

Oh well, nothing I can do right now. I will go back to obsessing about OPK's for now :)
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