Can I blow some steam??!!??

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-11-2004
Can I blow some steam??!!??
Mon, 07-26-2004 - 10:10pm
First off, let me say that I have a very loving & supportive father HOWEVER....

Today while I was helping him on errands we got on the subject of TTC. I didn't say much but made the mistake of using the word "fertility" in describing how we may be "getting help" if I don't get pg soon. (I will start Clomid next cycle but did not go into details.) He reacted like a complete jerk..."OMG...are you gonna be one of those women you see on TV with 6 kids, you don't want that!!!" Etc. Etc. Etc....I realized I made a BIG mistake in saying ANYTHING about it to him (my parents are divorced & my mother can handle rational conversations but my father...can't, try as he may...) Anyway, I ended up hurt & offended & told him I didn't want to talk about it any more & wished I hadn't said anything because if and WHEN I DO get pg I want him to be HAPPY and enjoy my pg and not be thinking psycho-unfounded thoughts....I later laid on the line with him & assured him we weren't doiny anything "wacky" (I retracted the term "fertility" just to ease his mind) and that it was all completely normal.

Here I am going through this whole TTC turmoil and I need to reassure HIM?

How in the he// does he KNOW what I want anyway???

And to think that my own faher would think I'd be as careless as some freak he'd seen on TV??? Hello!!!!!!!!!!

OK, Enough blowing steam about him...

My other reason to blow steam is that A.) I have not found my O this month...

and B.) My DH is working so much that BD'ing isn't happening much at all & he will be out of town for 2 days!!!!

OK, I feel better...(a little!!!)

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-29-2004
Tue, 07-27-2004 - 3:47am
I'm sorry you feel you need to reassure your Dad when you're going through your own stress. I don't think many people "get it" when it comes to the realities of ttc. I hope you're successful with the Clomid.

As a side note, can I just say here that I am the proud mother of 6 beautiful, wonderful children - yes, only one marriage, and yes, they're all mine. The eldest has started working with the poor in East Timor, another is a gifted musician and another has been nominated "Young Australian of the Year". They will make a huge contribution to society, I just know it. But sometimes it's embarassing to go out in public with them all and have to face the inevitable comments ("you're a glutton for punishment", "don't you know what causes it?" etc). So I hope you weren't talking about me as one of those "freaks" with 6 children!

Good luck this month, and hopefully you and DH will manage to connect enough to get the desired result!


iVillage Member
Registered: 06-02-2003
Tue, 07-27-2004 - 9:14am
I'm so sorry your Dad is being that way about TTC...I completely understand what you are going through, because my parents are the same way. I haven't told them much about anything because everytime I do, they just start to lecture me on this and's just frustrating!

I really hope that you are successful with Clomid next cycle! Good luck with everything and hope you get your BFP soon!!!!!

((((( hugs )))))


~i~ 2/20/04

TTC#1 C18


iVillage Member
Registered: 06-11-2004
Tue, 07-27-2004 - 9:40am
Oh no, Grace!!!!

I would LOVE to have six children! I have one DD, had one m/c, and have a lovely stepDD as well. I hope to have 2 more children but if all I ever have is my sweet DD then I am blessed & fortunate & extremely thankful.

I was referring to the women who end up having 6 babies AT ONCE...the multiples that make me shudder when I see them on TV. God bless them...can you imagine trying to nurse 6 babies!!??!! I think I'd rent a cow for the backyard before that! My boobs would be sagging 3 feet behind me, LOL!

I would love to have twins someday, they do run in the family.

I was just so hurt that he'd think I was being careless in anyway and that I was willing to do anything to have another child even it means putting babies at risk for a 15 week early delivery & living in the NICU for months.

I've had a couple friends go through that and I also lost a sister when she was only a baby. I just felt like he was saying I would put my baby/babies at risk just to have more, to get what I wanted...I am not a selfish person and to hear him say that so flippantly made me realize he had NO CLUE what I was talking about or what we're going through.

I feel badly if you thought for a moment I was referring to big families in general. Heck no! Sorry! ;)

I just don't want to have my ENTIRE family at once!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-29-2004
Tue, 07-27-2004 - 9:33pm
Now I know what you mean!!! I knew there was an explanation re. 6 children. I didn't realise you were referring to people who have 6 at once - wow! DH always wanted twins. He's a real "baby" man - he just loves them, the more the merrier for him (yeah, but I'm the one with the stretch marks, and the very sad looking bbs - lol)

I really really really hope you get your heart's desire in terms of family size. Good luck