Can I vent about DH?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2004
Can I vent about DH?
Tue, 07-27-2004 - 10:36am
OMG, I could have smothered him in his sleep! Here's what happened...since the m/c I haven't O'd. I started clomid this cycle and he had a fit about that. He felt I was jumping the gun and not letting nature take its course. OK--after four months of not ovulating, I figured mother nature was screwed up. Basically, he told me not to tell him about any of my fertility issues and just let him know when he needs to BD. I quit talking about it and the burden of conceiving fell entirely on my shoulders!

Welll....I finally O'd this cycle, got a +OPK, and had a ruptured cyst. I was so excited (and in pain) that I talked to him about it. When I intitiated BD last night, he flipped out and said I was only doing it because I was Oing!!!

Girls, I completely lost it and told him that "yes, I was just using him and he needed to shut up and donate his sperm and I would raise our child on my own. I only needed him for sex!" Needless to say, he was quite shocked.

Does anyone else's DH act so stupid sometimes? I'm tired of being the only one carrying this burden.


~i~ 3/4/04

c3 cc1 1dpo

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-11-2004
Tue, 07-27-2004 - 11:22am
I know what you mean.

No, you are not alone. Sometimes I feel like any other guy would love to be told "let's go!" I told DH that I hate being the one who always has to initiate the BD lately. But if he initiates it's either when I'm sleeping or bad timing!!!

I think I'm going to go out today and buy a sign that says "Yes, We're Open!" and put it on the bedroom door. Then, during AF, I can turn it around to say "Sorry, We're Closed!"

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2004
Tue, 07-27-2004 - 11:52am
LOl, I love the sign idea!! With my DH, I even try to be romantic and not tell him I'm Oing. You would think he would just be glad to be getting it, for whatever reason.

I'm just tired of being the only one interested in TTC. I've decided not to give him anymore until its time to O again. See if he minds then!


iVillage Member
Registered: 04-14-2004
Tue, 07-27-2004 - 1:49pm

Oh Stacy, I know.

My DH complains bitterly if 2 days goes by without sex. You would think the world was ending. Last month at O time (my first round of clomid too) suddenly he was offended. I never brought up the TTC info because he's already made it clear that he thinks I'm too obsessed. He went on and on that he needs romance and it should be more about love than conceiving.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-02-2004
Tue, 07-27-2004 - 1:53pm
Yup same here! I have been feeling like I am the only one who is worried about ttc. He just goes by his days while I'm over here obsessing over my cycle, counting days until O, and now when I can POAS - even though I'm trying my hardest not to be so obessive. It's like he is always tired, or the timing is just off whenever I'm ready to go. Shoot, I've even told him he can be as quick as possible if he's too sleepy - you'd think that would be music to their ears. I do resent his lack of interest in ttc, it makes me feel like he doesn't want another baby as badly as I do. And then it pisses me off even more when he says - "don't worry about it, it will happen when it's meant to happen". Yeah whatever - but you gotta be there to make it happen!!!


okay my vent is over. thanks.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2004
Tue, 07-27-2004 - 2:08pm
Amen! I'm glad I'm not the only one who feels this way. Any other time of the month, he would be ecstatic.

So I'm holding out until my next O if this month flops :)


iVillage Member
Registered: 08-10-2003
Tue, 07-27-2004 - 2:53pm

Stacy, my DH is the *exact* same way.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-23-2004
Tue, 07-27-2004 - 5:22pm

This sounds very frustrating but completely familiar!

One of the reasons that I am here talking to you ladies is becuase I have found that my husband doesn't want to deal with the technical or emotional side of having/losing a baby. To make matters worse he is a doctor so when he does talk about ttc I get the doctor and not my husband. He says I am obsessing (which I am) and doesn't think we should consider it an issue yet. But after 10 months, a miscarriage and a chemical pregnancy, when does it become an issue?

The answer is that it isn't as big an issue for them because they aren't the ones charting, using OPKs, and waiting to O. But we do need to remember that it is stressful on them too....


iVillage Member
Registered: 07-27-2004
Sun, 08-01-2004 - 10:14pm


iVillage Member
Registered: 08-02-2004
Mon, 08-02-2004 - 5:13am
Hi everyone,

Never new all DH are the same... I am having similar problems. Following a miscarriaged in April, I was eagerly wanting to have a baby but DH was never keen (not as if he wsa ever keen anyway)... during these months, we also went thru some rough patches in our relationship (not due to the miscarriage)... He was never enthusiatic and always feel that I'm not ready for another pregnancy cos he felt I've not fully recovered from our earlier loss, despite constant assurance that I am ready.

I got fed-up and I told him point blank to the face that all I want now is a baby, and his role is to donate the sperm to me... He will have no choice but to follow my schedule (whether he likes it or not) I will take care of the baby on my own...

After that, I think he suddently came to his sense to realise that I am really wanting a baby badly... He's been very cooperative lately. Am now waiting to do a test - AF due 8-16.