Consult

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-11-2010
Consult
8
Thu, 03-17-2011 - 5:30pm
I saw my obgyn today . . . made an apt. a few weeks back so that I could talk to her about various degrees of abdominal pain I've had these past few months as well as let her know that we've been TTC for 9 months now. I love her. She thinks I had a ruptured ovarian cyst a few months back based on the type of pain I described. And she gave me a lab slip to get some blood drawn soon (on CD3) . . . after AF shows. She had to write a diagnosis on the slip and wrote 'infertility"; it was so weird to see that written and finally have the label attached to me. I see her again in 3 months for an annual and if I'm still not PG, she's going to start getting aggressive w/ a full infertility workup. It's really frustrating to be going on month 9--as I know you are all aware--but I guess I feel good about approaching the 12 month mark and knowing that soon we'll start to get help with getting some answers.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-26-2010
In reply to: julia1232010
Thu, 03-17-2011 - 7:02pm

I love great OB's! Back when we were TTC #1 in 2006, my OB didn't even make us wait the full year before intervening.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-28-2009
In reply to: julia1232010
Thu, 03-17-2011 - 7:24pm
Nothing like the feeling of a new plan of action. Gives reason for some hope and hope is always a good thing!
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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-11-2010
In reply to: julia1232010
Fri, 03-18-2011 - 12:42am
Absolutely hear what you're saying, Carmela . . . it's a relief all in its own to know that we'll be getting some help in figuring out what our issues are soon. (This is where my paragraph break would be if only I could get this site to publish my paragraph breaks.) I didn't mention this in my initial post, b/c I hadn't had the chance to talk to DH about my appointment yet . . . I finally worked up the nerve to ask my Dr. what the gender of our baby would've been if not for the severe birth defects that rendered it "incompatible with life"; it was a girl. I was surprised to hear that b/c I have two sisters and they have 2 boys each. Just amazing and surreal to think I would've had a daughter. We would've had a daughter. DH said he wouldn't mind knowing if I found out, but he's actually taking it harder than I am. I've dealt with my emotions and was ready to find out . . . it has been ten months now since my abortion. But it's another story for him. He's really sad. I am, too, but not devastated sad in the way he is. Maybe because he didn't grieve enough this past year? Or because he just grieved differently? I don't know. All I know is that it''s upsetting that we ended the night by getting into an argument about fertility/infertility, which was the outcome of an attempt on my part to just tell him how I felt about seeing the word "infertility" on my lab sheet. He says it doesn't bother him . . . that of course, the dr. had to write something to get bloodwork ordered . . . says it bothers him more knowing that we lost a girl. But I think it's crap. Both probably bother him equally, and he's taking it out on me by being a jerk instead of dealing with his emotions. Ugh.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-28-2009
In reply to: julia1232010
Fri, 03-18-2011 - 5:59am
Oh wow Julia. You were brave for asking. It's a little less abstract now isn't? :( I know for me the label of IF was hard for me too. Especially when I snuck a peak at my chart and saw "Habitual Aborter" yuck...
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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-11-2010
In reply to: julia1232010
Fri, 03-18-2011 - 10:32am
Yep, a lot less abstract. I kind of feel bad that I told DH now . . . didn't expect him to have such a hard time with it. He told me he was ready to know. ;-( Anyway, yeah, "infertiity" is a tough word. I can't imagine seeing "habitual aborter" on my chart, though. I'm surprised you didn't ask the dr. what the hell was wrong with them that they couldn't find another word!
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-2006
In reply to: julia1232010
Fri, 03-18-2011 - 11:01am
Oh yuck - habitual aborter? That's as bad as having it written on your chart that you had a spontaneous abortion. They make it sound like you either make it a habit to abort (which I find disconcerting when they are talking about miscarriage versus an actual abortion) or with spontaneous abortion, it makes it sound like, "on a whim, I decided to abort the baby inside of me". UGH! I really wish that they could choose some different wording. And there should be some sort of differentiation between someone who is aborting a healthy baby simply because they aren't in a place to raise that child versus aborting a child who has no chance of a quality life outside the womb and those who have to have a pregnancy ended because of an ectopic. All of these things are so vastly different and I hate that they just categorize it all under the umbrella term of "abortion" (although I do know that "abort" means to end or terminate - and has nothing to do with desires or intentions for that child). *sigh* Perhaps I'm just hating that the word abortion has such a negative connotation.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-2006
In reply to: julia1232010
Fri, 03-18-2011 - 11:02am
I'm sorry that you had to finally see that word "infertility" written down. I hate that someone else has ventured into the realm of IF - it sucks! (((HUGS)))
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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-28-2009
In reply to: julia1232010
Sun, 03-20-2011 - 6:44am
Julia LOL I had to really bite my tongue and the only reason I did was that I would have to admit that I was rifling through my chart! :)
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