Feeling Sorry For Me
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|Sun, 07-11-2004 - 1:11am|
Then I find out my old boss, who just had a baby in February, thinks she's pg again, wasn't trying, but thinks she might be. Well, whatever, good for her. That's ok. But then, I get a call from my cousin tonight. She just got married in April, closed on her house this week- she's telling me all about that. This is her first month off the pill and trying to get pg and she says "Oh, and on the other front, I'm pregnant." Now, this is my cousin, she knows I had a m/c, knows how hard it was, knows I've been trying unsuccessfully for a few months now, and just casually drops this info. then asks me how my progress is. We have kind of a history-to sum it up, she was not happy that her younger cousin, me, met Mr. Right first, got married, then pg right b4 her wedding (the baby we lost), and now I totally feel like she's making this some kind of contest and she's rubbing this in my face. I'm happy for her, I mean I've had a lot of things in my life (not material things, people, support, experiences, etc.) she has not had, but come on. What she's doing is just mean. I'm going to have a hard time pretending to be all happy for her.
On top of that, I told her I'm not very hopeful right now, I'm just kind of looking forward to my appt. with my dr. at the end of august to find out what's going on with me and stuff and she says "yes, it's probably best not to get your hopes up" then I offered to let her borrow the pg books she bought me and she says "well, you MIGHT need them soon too." I know i'm being a little sensitive, but she's really ticking me off right now. I just don't need this right now.
Thanks for listening! I needed to just vent a bit to people who truly understand how I feel right now.