secret life

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2012
secret life
Tue, 08-21-2012 - 10:50pm
I just wanted to see if everyone feels like they have a secret life with going through miscarriages, and trying again. Or are you open about the topic with friends, family,coworkers? I have been pretty open with family and frinds, but feel like people treat me different now, like I'm fragile or something. I started a new job a few months ago, and none of them really know what I have and still am going through. I like not being treated differently, but feel like I'm leading a secret life sometimes. Just wanted to know how open everyone is about the miscarriage topic. Do you wish you would have been more open about it, or been less open about it?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2003
Wed, 08-22-2012 - 6:56pm
I completely feel that way, a lot! It probably doesn't help that we moved right before all this started so I don't really have anyone I see IRL that I'm that close to yet. And my sil just had her first, so we didn't tell family so as not to rain on her parade. Plus I don't really want pity or sympathy from people who don't really understand. As much as I act like the past year has been great, it's really been pretty awful, m/c's and otherwise (car accident, finances, kids' health, etc).
Deb DD7.5, DS5, DS3, m/c 10/11, #4 due in Dec!
Avatar for CW8062012
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2012
Wed, 08-22-2012 - 7:34pm

I'm pretty open about it for the most part with people I know and want to talk to about some aspects.  But I definitely feel like I have a secret life because no one truly understands and it just frustrates me.  So I talk about the medical aspects of it, but not the emotional/coping/grieving end of it.  If I do try, I just end up regretting it for one reason or another.  Don't worry.  You'r not alone.