Suggestion re Grad Section

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anonymous user
Registered: 12-31-1969
Suggestion re Grad Section
16
Sat, 07-24-2004 - 3:08pm
I'm not posting this to offend anyone. In fact, entirely the opposite. I think you will find that a lot of the Grads are upset by comments made. The reason we stay here when we are lucky enough to Graduate is not to rub other people's noses in it, but for me personally its been a case of not wanting to go because:

1. We all know anything can happen.

2. We still seek the reassurance that this board has to offer should anything go wrong AGAIN.

3. We have made excellent *cyber* friends and bonded with those people, therefore still WANT to see those special people graduate.

4. We still want to share our thoughts and offer our opinions. I think we have been as sensitive as we can.

I personally was never offended when Grads posted to me whilst TTC. If anything, I gained a lot of hope from the fact that they had actually graduated.

I will continue to read the board regularly. But I wont post through fear of offending. All I want is to see you ladies get a wonderful happy outcome.

My suggestion is that you either scrap the Grad section, or put a time limit on it on how long Grads are actually WELCOME to hang around. For me personally, like I said, I will lurk but dont feel I am welcome to post anymore.

I am hurt, truly hurt because I just wanted to hang around and watch you all join me. That would have made me very happy after so many months of TTC together.

Sorry if I offended anyone but I think there are a lot of offended people here today.

Jo-UK

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-11-2004
Sat, 07-24-2004 - 3:29pm
I find it encouraging to read supportive posts from grads and to know that it is possible to conceive after M/C. It really has been reassuring at such an emotional time. I also know that when I conceive again, I will probably be a nervous wreck that a m/c can happen again and I'd like to be supported by those women who are in the same situation. I think we can make room for everyone.
Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-25-2004
Sat, 07-24-2004 - 3:32pm
Ditto katglatt.

Erin


~i~ 2/4/04


~i~ 5/28/04


 

 

    

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-04-2004
Sat, 07-24-2004 - 3:32pm
I think Jo has made some really good points as to why having a Grad section is so valuable to all of us here. There are times when it is difficult to see so many pg's happen, but to be honest, I think NOT seeing pg's happen would make TTCAM a place without success stories, and we all need those to inspire us through the sh*t that is the TTC journey. I know I personally have had great advice from Grads over the last 5 months so would be sad to see that change.

Please stay!

Kristi

Avatar for peggyclark44
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-06-2004
Sat, 07-24-2004 - 5:05pm
I think IMHO that I would love to have the grads stick around.I have only been here a very short time,but I have already bonded with so many of you,some who are now grads,we are all going through the same thing and we have supported each other so much and it is soooo encouraging to see success after a mc,it makes me believe I can really do it and I am thankful for their advice on trying to get there,I hope that they to don't leave.If you are unable to read about the grads,then might I just suggest skipping over that section...like I said,this is just my opinion.


Peggy

DS Aaron 7-19-98

DS Ethan 9-25-02

~i~ Angel Baby 7-08-04

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-21-2003
Sat, 07-24-2004 - 5:13pm

I must have missed something. We have always had a Grads section!! It will not be going anywhere! NOT up for discussion! I think grads are always welcome to post. Yes we may all get a pang of "I wish it were me" when we see someone has gotten their bfp. It is life though and we get over it. I am sorry for whatever happened today. Please don't leave I need all the encouragement I can get! I am sad to see this today as AF came to visit and it is my 2 years since m/c day. Please all just be supportive of EVERYONE on this board! Crystal


You can chase a butterfly all over the field and never catch it. But if you sit quietly in the grass it will come and sit on your shoulder.~Anonymous


Mom of Xavier (3) and ~i~ (edd 3/9/03)


My chart

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-23-2004
Sat, 07-24-2004 - 10:25pm
I can't speak for Stephanie or anyone else about the grads, but the concern, as I understood it,was not that there WERE grads and that they posted on the grads section, but that they were posting in lots of other places on the board. This doesn't bother me, but I can see, when you are in the depths of frustration of still not being pg after your miscarriage (or really struggling), the frustration of those who are struggling and not wanting to "see" the grads all over the board, but instead knowing that, if you want to check out your friends who have graduated, you can see them in the grads section.

Before everyone gets upset and frustrated, let's just calm down a bit. This entire thing is a little bit emotional and for those of us, like Stephanie and myself who can't seem to get pregnant following our m/c, it gets frustrating after a while to hear group after group graduate and be gleeful about their pregnancy. Not that we aren't happy for the grads (I really am), but there are moments that it rubs salt in the wounds that just haven't healed yet. If grads are posting all over (or asking questions about pregnancy), it can seem like you can't quite get away from it. If you haven't spent months (and sometimes years) trying to get pregnant, it is hard to understand the feelings of desperation and unfairness that creep in for women who are facing infertility.

I hope people aren't taking this all personally. This is a blowing steam section for venting frustrations. Not a judging and getting hurt feelings section. I hope that we all can calm down a bit and realize that we are all in this together.

Crystal--sorry if I stepped in when I shouldn't have in this matter. Mea culpa.



Angie

TTC #1 since March 2003

Angels 2/1/04 and 7/1/04

Our Angels, You are never far from our hearts and always in our prayers.

“It is not the fast who win the race, it is those who are firm in faith and can keep going when the race seems long and the finish line far away.”

Angels 2/1/04, 7/1/04, 8/31/04,1/1/06 DD 5/9/05 Surprise Due 5/19/07

Our Angels, You are never far from our hearts and always in

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-02-2004
Sat, 07-24-2004 - 10:44pm

Angie,


VERY WELL SAID!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-23-2004
Sat, 07-24-2004 - 10:57pm
Katie,

No problem. I just didn't want to step on your toes or Crystal's, but once a CL, always a CL! *laugh*

(I am the CL over at Pregnancy Loss after Infertility)

Angie

TTC # 1 since March 2003



Angels 2/1/04 and 7/1/04

Our Angels, You are never far from our hearts and always in our prayers.

“It is not the fast who win the race, it is those who are firm in faith and can keep going when the race seems long and the finish line far away.”

Angels 2/1/04, 7/1/04, 8/31/04,1/1/06 DD 5/9/05 Surprise Due 5/19/07

Our Angels, You are never far from our hearts and always in

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-29-2004
Sat, 07-24-2004 - 11:02pm
JMHO (and it is very humble), and speaking as one of those who really should graduate, but is very afraid to make the leap of faith, I completely understand what Stephanie and Angie are saying. This is NOT a pg board - there are plenty of other places for that. Therefore, I don't feel it's appropriate to discuss pg symptoms/experiences here. I can't say that I have seen any Grads gloating about their good luck, and I can't really recall inappropriate posts, but I may have missed them. I don't believe there is a person here who would knowingly rub salt in any other woman's wounds. Perhaps there should be an etiquette procedure? And a definite time frame in which we should graduate - maybe at 6 weeks pg? Just some suggestions. Please don't boot me out just yet!!!

Grace

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-03-2004
Sat, 07-24-2004 - 11:39pm
I agree that Angie got the gist correct... it is not about posting IN the grads section... it is about posting in other places on the board and mentioning pg, or having a ticker or sig about being pg.

I would like to continue to post to friends in the 2ww to cheer them on... but my pg concerns I am happy to take elsewhere. That is what the Preg After Loss board is for. I dont use it because I dont see any of us there and the people on it are well past the first trimester and I dont feel like I relate to them, just as the TTC folks do not feel they relate to us.

Lets use the Grad section here for updates and take our daily issues to the PAL board... if we all go over there, then it will feel like a little bit of "home"!

I'm starting a roll call on PAL... please come and join me!!!

Sissy

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