And so it comes to an end...

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-26-2007
And so it comes to an end...
5
Wed, 07-28-2010 - 5:05pm

Breastfeeding. :( As of today, it has been 20 months and 2 weeks I have BFed Sophia. I joined this board when she was 2 or 3 months. I want this so much, as BFing has been so draining for me, especially as of late as she has gotten so big.

But on the other hand, my heart is breaking. This is going to be so incredibly hard with her. She was a boobie baby from day 1. I hope this doesn't go badly, as I am on anxiety meds, antidepressants and something to help me sleep (chronic insomnia) already. The look on her face when I refuse her the boob is heartbreaking. But I know a big part is acting. :)

I am just sad to lose this, the most special bond I have ever had with anyone, ever. I feel her pain like no one else.

My family has talked to me and I agree that this the best time. My in-laws are here and my husband and I, all in one house (ours) until September/October. They approached me, knowing I want to do this because it''s draining me so badly and they think it will make it easiest on me because I will have three in house helpers, two of them here all day with me. It doesn't get easier than that, I suppose. Doing it alone would be much worse.

So here I sit, not really knowing what to think. All I think about lately is how much I want another baby and how I'm on the verge of going to the RE because I can't get pregnant/stay pregnant.

It just feels like a big loss. But at the same time, I'm ready. So ambivalent, I suppose.

I really need some advice...or thoughts or whatever. Any BTDTs, how did weaning go for you? How long did it take?

Thanks everyone in advance....it may take time for me to get back as I have been overwhelmed lately. Family issues in my family. I'm so drained.

Anyone ever wean over a week or two?

Heather, mom to Sophia 11-14-08

Lilypie Maternity tickers


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2008
Wed, 07-28-2010 - 5:37pm
Heather, I am so sorry. (((((BIG HUGS))))) to you. It sounds like you have been going thru a lot!!! You know how to find me if you'd like to chat!!!! Emma weaned herself over just a few days. It was rough for me, but it was like she knew. Hang in there Hon, it will get better. I promise!!!

 


Lilypie 1st Birthday PicLilypie 1st Birthday Ticker

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-26-2007
Wed, 07-28-2010 - 6:03pm

Diana

Thank you so much. I'm just afraid of her reaction mostly I think. It's good to have someone to talk to who has done this before me. Thanks so much....and I'm sure you'll hear from me. :) Thanks again....I feels so much less alone in my feelings.

Hope you are well (and I heard it was a BOY!).

TTYS
Heather

Lilypie Maternity tickers


iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-2007
Wed, 07-28-2010 - 7:22pm

:(


Good luck. It's a hard decision to make. I myself haven't been nursing for... five months now.... thought maybe it would help. Either way my DD was on the end of nursing by herself. She was only nursing once a day, and that was for like five min. just before bed. I just decided one night when she was really sleepy to see if she'd argue if I didn't even offer. She didn't. She only asked for it twice after that. So I guess that's not really advice, but just my experience of it. She was 18 mos at the time. Give her (and you) lots of extra cuddle times and you'll do well! Good luck!

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Registered: 05-04-2008
Fri, 07-30-2010 - 2:16am

Hi Heather - First off, hugs to you and I am sorry you are struggling so much right now. I do understand how hard it can be when you want something so much and it is just not coming fast enough.
As for the weaning, I can tell you that I nursed until I was ready to push my little guys a little harder in the weaning direction - they were both over 2 years old at that point (and #2 was closer to 3)....it is a very personal decision to make and it sounds like you are feeling done so you shouldn't feel guilt or anything like that over this. You have given your little one a great gift. What I do feel like I should say too though is that make sure it is you deciding this and not your family pushing you in that direction - I know you want to conceive again soon (believe me when I say I get this totally!), but weaning might not be the answer to get you there for sure. I am very, very glad that in all of my desires to have another baby, I didn't stop before it was right for both of us - you and your little one - and no one else. I haven't nursed in awhile now and well, you know that is working out for me.
Your baby is still just that - pretty much a baby - and when you have another one (and I am very confident that you will), I want you to look back at #1's first years with joy and the knowledge that you soaked it all in without worrying so much. I got pregnant with #2 when #1 was 22 months old - they are the best of buddies now, and the longer I have been doing this, the more I realize that the age gap we all panic about is just a bit silly. I worry sometimes that I didn't fully enjoy the ages/stages of both my boys as I was always kind of thinking about wanting my next one - now that there might not be another one for me, I would not like to have those regrets and worries.

Jumping off my soapbox - Your Sophia will adjust just fine to not nursing anymore- yes, she might be a bit annoyed but I am quite sure that it is usually harder on us mama's then on them. If you have the help and you are ready, let go of that guilt and sadness, and remember that the cuddles etc. will still be there. My little guy still kisses my boobs and talks to them and "lays on the babus" for snuggle/sleep time. You will both be fine and if you are emotional health is at risk, it is more important for you to do this. My girlfriend weaned her little girl at around 15 months over the course of 2 days and it went much better then anyone expected so hang in there girl and don't worry so much :)

Oh and if you have to visit an RE then by all means go for it to help put your mind at ease. I have found the process very empowering and informative - I would be willing to bet you get a BFP before DS turns 2 however - a perfect time to get pregnant again.

I hope I have not rambled on too much- and hopefully made sense?!?

Big hugs, Jasmine

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2009
Fri, 07-30-2010 - 8:30pm

Hey Heather,
Hugs for all your frustrations and difficulties. Your LO is so lucky to have you as a mama, and has benefited so very much from all you have given her from the boob, as well as all you will continue to give her in every other way. I do want to echo what Jasmine said, to make sure deep inside yourself that this is what you want to do now.
If it is, a week or two is awfully quick, depending upon how much you are still nursing. If